Dell Unveils New Site That Even My Dumb Vagina Can Understand.

Dell has launched Della, a site geared toward women.  Because apparently I needed a penis to surf the regular Dell site.

The Della site is chock full of female-friendly information to help me buy my new Dell computer. It even offers handy Tech Tips, geared to women! Let’s check them out, shall we?
1. Get smarter: It’s [...]

Please Don’t Encourage Them: Celebrity Hobbies that Must Be Stopped.

People – women mostly – used to ask me how I manage to work in Hollywood when there’s a tall blonde supermodel actress waitress someone hotter than me lurking around every corner.
Simple, I’d tell them – it’s their job to sit and be pretty. (And occasionally act.) It’s my job to write.  I wasn’t trying [...]

Five TV Shows That Should Be Movies

Hollywood has been scraping the bottom of the barrel for ideas for years. Last week it was announced that L. Ron’s Favorite Son and Pointless Banter favorite Tom Cruise wants to redo the classic Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid with John Travolta.
Just what the world needs: a Scientology buddy comedy.
The movie-making machine is pooping [...]

Top Ten Worst Celebrity Name Drops

I was flat on my back, spread-eagled on a table wearing nothing below the waist but a pink paper thong.  I was at the salon for my waxing appointment, except that the woman who walked in wasn’t my regular waxer, Meredith. Instead, a blonde woman who blinked rapidly when she introduced herself as Cady, “with [...]

The Search Engine Shrink

C’mon kids, we’re about to take a trip in the Wayback Machine. Not with Mr. Peabody and his boy Sherman, but with the Slackmistress. The year was 1980, and the SlackFamily was in possession of a bright shiny Apple IIe with a bunch of software that was nicked from the neighbors fell off of a [...]

Lifestyles of the Animated and High

When people think of cartoon characters getting high, the conversation always turns to Shaggy of Scooby-Doo. And why not? He talks to a dog. He’s paranoid that he’s being chased by ghosts. He has a perpetual box of Scooby Snacks when the munchies hit.

But Shaggy’s not the only animated guy toking up in the back [...]