Me- 2 Andy Dick- 0

Andy Dick is my nemesis. Sure he probably doesn’t remember our last run in. (Nor should he.) But deep down inside he knows that we are rivals. Deep down he desires barely legal penis along with finally meeting me again head to head to finish what was started. (Thank god I don’t classify as barely legal penis.)

Wow a Sponsored Contest and Everything

I’m considered an influencer. We covered this before. Of course I don’t buy into any of that crap but I guess I shouldn’t fight it. I get offered free crap all the time and mostly I turn it down because it never is anything cool like a car, laptop, or an Asian girl.

However recently a music festival that wanted to give me two tickets to their show in Pittsburgh, PA in order to give away in a contest approached me. They basically said if I linked to their site, explained what the show was, they would give me two free tickets.

The Five Dirtiest Places Known to Mankind

There is nothing worse in life than walking into a room and knowing that you shouldn’t touch anything in said room or you will probably need a booster shot. I’m not Howie Mandel or anything but there are some places that just scream disease. Through in depth scientific research I have determined the five dirtiest places known to mankind.

If I Could Bang My Air Conditioner I Would

Up until yesterday I have lived my entire life without living in a house with air conditioning. Wait let me change that, I have lived my entire life without air conditioning except living in one apartment with an air conditioner but my housemate always took the window unit and put it into his bedroom at night depriving me of air conditioning goodness after wetting my appetite during the day by having it in the living room… that son of a bitch. (That may or may not be a run-on sentence.)

What I want for my birthday- A complete list that will help the entire world

Yes tomorrow is my birthday; last year I released a book on my birthday… Instead of giving you the gift of typos and poor grammar this year I am going to focus on myself and give you a list of what I want for my birthday. However since I am so benevolent I want to [...]

There is nothing worse than the whole “I am sick” conversation

I get really uncomfortable when people tell me that they are sick. Not because I am afraid I am going to catch anything but because I don’t know the amount of sympathy I am supposed to show back. Add in the fact that an uncomfortable situation occurs around the discussion of their symptoms and the [...]