Good Ol’ Dr. Ruth

A friend of mine pointed an article out for me to read. It was about having better sex. Apparently, it has come to my friends’ attentions that I am a complete and utter hornball that will stop at nothing in my smarmy daily routine of watching fat toothless women in Disney halter tops fall on [...]

“The City” Proves MTV Should Die Already

A few weeks ago, I was more or less forced to watch The Hills. Now, we all know that The Hills is easily millions of people’s (and one man’s) favorite show of all time, a true testament to the power of reality television, a show resolved to allowing the “Salt of this Earth” to put [...]

Your Product Sucks

Is it me, or are some of these pharmaceutical ads really getting ridiculous? I just saw a full sixty second ad for Yaz, a birth control patch or pill that apparently you take every so often and then go off and fuck everyone and lo and behold, you don’t get knocked up. Sounds like a [...]

I’m All About The Flirty Girls

Look, we are all getting older, and we’re all getting wrinklier and fatter. I think about this a lot lately, basically because I am around some fine ass talent at concerts and local “gentleman’s clubs”…you know the ones with Huggy Bear in the corner freshly released from prison.

But, as I get older, I start to [...]

Get with the program already

Hey!
A few of you youngsters out there are unfamiliar with the term “rabbit ears”. A lot of you are clueless of the term “turn the dial”.
Then again, a lot of you are clueless about life, you douchebags.
I digress.
You see, television technology has jumped leaps and bounds over the past 25+ years. I can remember when [...]

Unless you make it big, it means you’re a dork

I was taking a shit today at a friends house. It was a normal chocolate smoothie with a hint of nuts and other assorted chunks that smelled of Gary, Indiana…the kind that makes me proud that I have lots of fiber and very little water in my diet and that those skid marks will NOT [...]