Ladies, gentlemen, and social degenerates the time has come where I need to move on to another phase of my life. A phase where I concentrate on my career, my quest to find the perfect industrial strength toilet for my home, and to answer the question, “will I ever be able to sleep with a stripper without spending a dime on her while she is ‘at work’?”
As of next week I am selling out and selling Pointless Banter to an internal conglomerate hell bent on continuing to provide crass and entertaining content, I just won’t be along for the ride. (For those of you who are going to ask, “for how much?” I will just kindly say that it is enough for me to pay you to let me donkey punch you. So it is at least over $25.)
It is kind of like the episode of Seinfeld when Kramer sells his “stories” to J. Peterman, except without the bus tour. Although if I ever strike it rich you better believe that I will create one.
“This is the hill where Bobby Finstock walked up after infamous pudding girl incident.”
“This is the KFC/Taco Bell that led to a certain salad tossing situation.”
“Here is the unmarked grave of his male stalker.”
“Here is the house of the single mother that not only killed her kids hamster but keyed Mr. Finstock’s car after he wrote about it.”
There is other projects comedy wise that I will be a part of down the road, it will just be in a different style, at a different time, and in a different place. With that being said I am going to share my Facebook “personal” profile so you can stay up to date and where ladies can send me inappropriate pictures.
(This is the sentimental part.)
I want to thank everyone that has taken the time to read this crap over the years, those who take the time to comment and add to the overall fun of the blog. I went from having 12 people read what I post on MySpace to millions of people reading my crap in a year. It is mind-boggling and probably a sad commentary on our society. Also I want to thank Donkeysosa, Matt, Mike, and the Slackmistress for their contributions to the site, they kept things going and helped bring different points of view. (And wrote some hilarious shit.)
Also I would like to thank celebrities with zero common sense, Captain Morgan’s Rum, a horrible high school sex life that fueled a twenty year old to do a lot of dumb things, and velveeta cheese. (Because it is fucking delicious.)
So I leave you with this:
Didn’t they all end becoming Nazis and sleeping with each other? Whatever. I’ve never actually sat through the entire movie so I am just assuming that is what happens.