2010 Grammy Awards Worst Dressed

Award show season is upon and per tradition I will drop my fashion reviews of the best and worst dressed at the Grammy awards. The problem with the Grammy awards though is that it lends itself to an epic shit ton of people who can’t dress versus that can, so why kid myself by saying best and worst dressed? So I think I have one best dressed. As usual I didn’t actually watch the award show because the Grammy suck except for like one or two performances which I can just watch online the next day. Also I have to issue my disclaimer for this: I am a straight male that can’t dress myself, so take any criticism with a grain of salt.

Lady Gaga- Some people describe her as fashion forward. Some people describe her as a fashion train wreck. Others will describe her as a dude hiding their cock. Personally I think she is a new age guido with too much money. Instead of putting tacky statues of the Virgin Mary in her front lawn she dresses like this. Do we have a consensus if she is ugly or decent looking yet?

Khloe Karashian Britney Spears- At one point in your life you oozed sexuality now ooze chocolate, Marlboro Lights, and Carl’s Jr.

Taylor Swift- Everything sparkles with Taylor Swift… E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G. (Including her vagina which is filled with gold, diamonds, and unicorn tear drops.)

Adam Lambert- Every time we someone from American Idol in public the terrorists win or Simon Cowell. I guess technically they are interchangeable.

Jennifer Hudson- I have made plenty of fat jokes at Jennifer Hudson’s expense on the Pop Crunch Show and in my blog. She looks good here, although I am sure she is wearing a girdle that took at least three hours to put on.

Wyclef- Did he leave the matching shoes for this outfit in Haiti?

Ke$ha- Wow another uber slutty blonde girl who the music industry can use for a few years and spit out. You may want to look at picture number two of this post to gaze into your future. Also you don’t know how much it pained me to actually have to put that dollar sign in her name, it is way fucking stupid. One of the biggest examples of why the music industry has completely sucked over the last five years.

LMFAO- I stand corrected, strike that previous sentence under Ke$ha. Their music is horrible, they are annoying, why the hell are they around? Oh… one of them is the son of Motown Records founder Barry Gordy and the other is his nephew. Fucking nepotism.

Nicole Kidman- She looks like a Pez dispenser. Her head isn’t in proportion with her anorexic body. This is completely fantastic, I want to crack her head back and see if I can grab an orange flavored piece of sugar.

The Situation- If you took the fashion of Silvio Dante from the Sopranos and combined it with Sonny Crockett from Miami Vice you would get this. Mike you know that you can take your pants to a place called a tailor and they can make them look like they fit. I guess that isn’t part of G.T.L. These kids travel in packs where there is one there is usually….

Snooki- I could make a miniature Barney reference, I could criticize the shoes, and I could even make a few Jersey jokes. But when I saw this the first thing that came to my mind is, “Where is the poof?” Snooki, never lose the poof… ever. (that is the only way we can spot you in a crowd)

Gaga hot or not? Did anyone actually watch the award show? Has Taylor Swift gotten banged yet?