"Maybe it was a dream, you know, a very weird, bizarre, vivid, erotic, wet,
detailed dream. Maybe we have malaria."


FYI Child Molesters Shouldn’t Coach Softball

By: Bobby Finstock on 01/28/10 @ 8:01 am

Common sense is a very underrated trait in people. It is good that most of us have some level of it and mixed with the concept of what is right and what is wrong it leads us to lead a somewhat decent life. Sometimes though there are people who have zero ability to process logic, you know like the cop telling a woman who was just sexually assaulted a joke involving the size of his penis. Or an EMT worker trying to pick up on a car accident survivor when their spouse just was killed, some people just don’t see how wrong they are being.

Take for example the women’s softball coach in Palm Desert California who brought in a volunteer to help her team. Sounds innocent enough. He helped out the team by keeping score, helping out during batting practice, and cleaning up equipment. No big deal right?

Well what if he was a known and registered sex offender? Whoops.

The softball coach at Palm Desert high school knew this when she brought him into help, kind of not cool right? I should also let you know that she just happened to be married to the sex offender and she was his victim when she was 14. (He was 39 years old at the time.) Yeah I will let that sink in for a second.

Obviously the coach was fired and there is going to be some fallout in the school district. After a police investigation it was revealed that nothing happened to the girls except for completely awkward conversations that will be burned into their memory forever:

Player: So how did you meet your wife?

Sex Offender: I met her when she was 14 and playing softball for me.

Player: Oh that is sweet, you became friends and all those years later you fell in love and got married.

Sex Offender: Uh… um… not exactly

Player: Ashley the dress you got for the prom makes you look like such a whore? Here look at the picture don’t you think so?

Sex Offender: How old is Ashley?

Player: 17…

Sex Offender: Meh… a little old for my taste. I can’t judge.

Player: So Coach it is so cool your dad is helping us out.

Coach: He isn’t my dad he is my husband.

Player: Wow, he is 25 years older than you. How long have you guys been together?

Coach: Right around 20 years.

Player: How old are you coach?

Coach: 34.

Player: (Girl does the math in her head.) Ew.

No wonder why so many female softball players turn out to be lesbians.

On a scale of 1-10 how creepy is this situation?

About the author

Bobby Finstock

Finstock is founder of Pointlessbanter.net. He is known for his encyclopedia like knowledge on the life and times of Scott Baio. In the future he hopes to write again under his own name in order to impress the ladies and build his celebrity to the levels of other failed internet writers.

11 Responses to “FYI Child Molesters Shouldn’t Coach Softball”

  1. kiki says:

    it’s an eleven on the scale of creepy. i’m happy to read that nothing happened to the team members, but feel sorry for the coach and what happened to her at fourteen. thanks for sharing and take care.

  2. Meghan says:

    Yeah…I’d be nervous if that guy was rifling through my recycling on trash day…let alone hanging around the softball field, or any other place within 100 yards of my daughter.

    Way to stand by your man. I’d say there is no need for therapy here, except now I feel like I need some..bleecchhh.

  3. cigar_lawyer says:

    Creepy yes. Very creepy. The question I am stuck with is she the (only?) reason for his status as a sex offender? If so, dispite the creepy factor they have been together longer than most “normal” relationships.

    for what is is worth the sex offender registry is a crock becuase it makes no distiction about crimes which defeats the purpose.

  4. Patty Punker says:

    didn’t her mama tell her that girls should never stay with their fuck? sheesh. and what’s he like her pet snake that she continues to bring little mice to feed on?

  5. Vince says:

    I thought only lesbians coached softball, boy did I learn something today.

  6. cigar_lawyer says:

    lets see if this works better since PB doesn’t seem to like the other email address

  7. LOTNorm says:

    At least he’s good with numbers.

  8. GovRory says:

    WTF! This is one of the creepiest things you have found Bobby. I thought the Craigslist Killer was bad, but this is damn right funny kind of bad.

  9. Karl says:

    on the creepiness scale this one gos to 11

© 2010 Pointless Banter - All Rights Reserved || Designed: E.Webscapes || Social Media Consulting: Comedy Central Sound