The internet is great for so many things. You can organize your finances, find employment, get information quickly, find sick Japanese crap, connect with old friends, and find out the exact second the three breasted women comes on screen when watching Total Recall. With all of this great stuff though there is a downside, occasionally you find out something about yourself that you didn’t realize was abnormal. Something that when you find out and learn that you are in the smaller faction well… you entire philosophy about life gets shaken to the core.
Over the last few months I have seen a conversation on the internet occur in a few places from Deadspin to Fark. Each time this conversation has occurred I have had to take a long hard look in the mirror and evaluate who I am. Is it something that has to do with politics? No. Perhaps an odd sexual fetish like lusting after people with crooked toes? Nope. Is it a crime that I committed years ago where the statute of limitations has run out and I can finally come clean? No, but that is coming later this year.
This might be the hardest thing I have ever had to admit. Please don’t judge me and please don’t let this change your opinion of me….
I stand to wipe after I poop.
I am 32 years of age and I didn’t realize that this isn’t how MOST people wipe their ass.
Apparently the way I do it is not only uncommon but it isn’t socially acceptable. However I can’t see doing it in any other fashion. The hover or the tilt doesn’t seem like a sanitary or enjoyable move, plus I don’t know that I want my hand/arm between my ass and the toilet seat. While I think the way I do it is logical apparently it isn’t how most of America does it.
Because this isn’t the way most people do it does my style make me a revolutionary or even a trendsetter? Is it a sign of advanced intelligence or am I someone that resides in the bottom of the barrel with child molesters and fans of Twilight? Or historically has this been a trait that has set the weak from the strong? Which side am I on?
There are so many questions about this but the biggest one I have is how did Hitler wipe himself?
Because really when it all comes down to it if I can say that I wipe my ass differently than Hitler I feel that I am covered on this issue. No matter how socially unacceptable my way is if Hitler did it the opposite way I can throw it in your face and say that I don’t wipe my ass the same style he did. Do you think this is documented historically somehow?
How do you think Hitler wipes his ass? And how do you wipe yours?