The Gift That Keeps on…………Giving

(From time to time we here at Pointlessbanter like to open up the floor to a guest blogger. Today we have Uncle Finstock dropping in and giving some words of wisdom.)

Let’s see… I have an iPod, iPhone, Bose headphones, laptop, table top and everything a grown child could want, receive and temper tantrum over. When I was a younger lad, and being one of seven (we’re brother’s and sister’ but not related), the anticipation over the Christmas gifts was unbearable. GI Joe, bikes,and the Johnny Seven OMA were just a few of Santa’s surprises’ that adorned our tree over the years’.

As our 2009 season approaches, the commercials’ inundate us constantly, and the kids’ today are certainly going to be amply rewarded for being good, economic conditions’ be damned. But, and there is always a but, the one gift that has me shivering, shaking and just damn awestruck is the one and only ZHU ZHU pet, otherwise known as the gerbil.

It is a fucking gerbil

Now I know that Adam Lambert (you know he was going to be mentioned) is at the foreskin, uh  sorry, forefront of all this gay in entertainment, and with Tiger Woods’ taking on every woman east of Hawaii, the headlines’ are just reeking of sex, sex, and more sex.   But giving your kid a gerbil for a gift is like giving the little tyke a gift certificate to Hooters’, just go and eat and watch the game… and whatever else catches’ your eyes.  Just wind it up and let it ROAM. Now if the kid takes this to school and his teacher is a distant relative of Harvey Feinstein, the wrong message will be sent to the professor and then the child ends’ up on the evening news. Give the kid a football, Wii, a stick, anything but a rodent that sooner or later will have him in therapy quicker than a Bobby Finstock orgasm ( I spoken to some of our leaders’ lady friends, and he’s nothin’   a quick minute and a good night sleep is had by all). I guess that just the gesture of giving your son this gift is appalling to my manly side.

But I should digress…..I got army men, toy gun’s, the James Bond 007 attaché case with the bullet’s coming out the side, and I turned out okay …..oops, time’s up   gotta go back to my cellblock…just be careful what you by the future sport’s heroes of this land, and ban the gerbil.    Enjoy the holidays’.