I don’t often take a stand for anyone but today I need to take a stand for the poor people across the world. Being poor sucks. Just to be clear I am not talking about the whole starvation thing or no access to clean water, I am talking about the fact that they get the shit that nobody else wants.
Yesterday I was at Barnes and Noble buying one of the last few Christmas gifts on my list. When I went to check out the cashier asked if I wanted to buy a book for less fortunate children and I could select from a range of books behind the counter. Because she was attractive I of course told her I would. (It takes so little for me to piss away my money.)
When I looked behind the counter all the books that were there were shitty books that no kid in the world would want. You know like the Star Wars books not having anything to do with the series and that star characters that weren’t even in the movies. Then there were a bunch of books based off of crappy Japanese Anime, who the hell wants to read a book based off of a show that routinely butchers the english language? Even kids into that stuff wouldn’t want these books.
It dawned on me that Barnes and Noble were basically getting rid of all their shitty books through the guise of people buying something for the less fortunate. All I could think about was the Seinfeld episode where Elaine was giving the muffin stumps to a homeless shelter.
Just because people are poor doesn’t mean they will just take whatever you give them, they have taste and an opinion.
Think about all those kids that get the Superbowl or World Series Champion t-shirts made for the team that lost. You know that somewhere out there is a kid with an Arizona Cardinals Super Bowl Champions t-shirt from last year. Yeah it might protect him from the elements but he is being totally lied to. What is more important being warm or knowing the truth? The truth I say.
Imagine growing up and all you know about sports and who wins what is based off these t-shirts. Your entire knowledge base is created off a lie, when you finally break free of being poor and make it in the real world you will become a laughing stock because every sports reference you make will be totally incorrect. You will probably lose your job because you argued that Phillies won the World Series in 2009 leading to a fight at work thus returning you to the poor house. (See it is cyclical. Giving the shit we don’t want to the poor ultimately keeps them broke.)
So I have decided to do something about this. I am not longer going to support second hand shit that nobody wants going to the poor. Instead of giving them the crap nobody wants I am just going to give them nothing so they don’t have to suffer the indignity of all of this. We need to bond together and help them out by doing this.
Who is with me?