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I Have To Boycott Nike Now

By: Bobby Finstock on 10/1/09 @ 7:32 am

Last night I read that Nike has resigned Michael Vick to an endorsement deal. Immediately when I heard this I got enraged and have decided to boycott Nike.

I believe that the guy did his time and deserves a second chance so playing in the NFL is fine.  But getting an endorsement deal is just one step too far in my book. You see while I think what he did with the whole dog-killing thing is morally wrong and disgusting it isn’t the reason I want to boycott Nike. (Really when anything called a “rape stand” comes into play that is a pretty bad sign.) Personally I am pissed because he is a guy that plays seven plays a game and is nothing more than a decoy and a backup quarterback. Why is mediocrity getting rewarded?

If he became a superstar again I wouldn’t give a shit, more power to him. But he isn’t and frankly he isn’t going to be. (I have a more accurate completion percentage than Vick.) Basically he is getting an endorsement deal because he is getting a lot of press and is controversial. If being controversial and being an active or former athlete is the basis for an endorsement deal what athlete is next?


Charles Barkley- Sir Charles arrested for driving drunk and when he was pulled over said he was headed around the corner to get a blowjob. Maybe Nike should sign him… wait he is already under contract. (But that is totally awesome and he should be celebrated. So I guess we can cross him off the list.)

Kenny Powers- Racist, steroid user, drug abuser, and responsible for knocking Reg Mackworthy’s eye out of his head, Powers is still less reprehensible than Michael Vick.

Leonard Little- Killed a lady while driving drunk with a .19 BAC, he still plays for the Rams and received a whopping 90 days in jail. Nike could do a special line of shoes for him and Donte Stallworth with a Breathalyzer built right into the heel.

That Dude at the Beginning of The Last Boy Scout- The wide receiver at the beginning of the movie that took a gun out of his pants and started shooting other players… Oh I forgot he shot himself…. Forget it.

On a side note, I was going to off myself in front of a stadium of 75,000 people I would have come up with a better line than, “Ain’t Life a Bitch.”

I know you can all sense my extreme outrage and perhaps I should have felt like this earlier. Sure there are plenty of other reasons to boycott Nike. But frankly I have been a Nike guy for a long time so I just ignore those.

This was my reaction in the past.

Friend: Hey Bobby, you know a seven year old in a cage that gets one meal a day and make .13 an hour made those shoes?

Me: Well tell him he did a good job if you ever meet him.

This is my reaction now.

Friend: Hey did you hear Nike signed Mike Vick to an endorsement deal?

Me: That is fucking outrageous, insulting, horrible for humanity, and just makes me feel dirty every time I put a pair of shoes on. I am so boycotting them.

So uh… who is jumping on this train?

About the author

Bobby Finstock

Finstock is founder of Pointlessbanter.net. He is known for his encyclopedia like knowledge on the life and times of Scott Baio. In the future he hopes to write again under his own name in order to impress the ladies and build his celebrity to the levels of other failed internet writers.

19 Responses to “I Have To Boycott Nike Now”

  1. clientsideshowbob says:

    Odd way for you to advertise that you want to do a train on someone. LOL

    I semi-agree about the Vick endorsement deal, but Nike is about the only brand that consistently makes shoes in my size that are actually interesting to wear, so I have to stand by them. Yeah, i know, whipped.

    • I just this funny on a few levels first of all he is a backup… wtf is that about?

      And people got all angry last night on Twitter and Facebook saying that we all should boycott, meanwhile the other stuff that Nike has been accused of is far more evil and exploitative. But nobody seems to care about that because it doesn’t involve something they have as a pet. (Although I am sure you can order an Asian female and child somewhere on the internet.)

  2. Meghan says:

    The ‘Aint Life a Bitch’ reference is awesome…and should be followed up with a ‘The More You Know’ jingle.

    Further more, I would buy just about anything Kenny Powers endorses.

    OJ is breathing new hope somewhere and rubbing his palms together…his thieving murdering palms together.

  3. Vince says:

    I don’t understand at all why they would endorse a 3rd string quarterback/decoy. I have been a Vick hater since he was at Va Tech. I have always said that he and his brother are hack quarterbacks. I will gladly boycott Nike (with the exception for what I already own) and I will proudly buy a pair of these shoes http://www.vibramfivefingers.com/index.cfm

  4. Alexis says:

    I love the Nike AirMax ad on here…hahahahaha

  5. The Striped Avenger says:

    Wow. I haven’t bought Nike in over 10 years but cheers to more reasons to abstain from the Swoosh.

  6. Jimmy says:

    Why don’t Nike just sign OJ to endorse their Nike Gloves?

  7. KCJ says:

    Nike doesn’t give a shit as long as these thugs can make them lots of money.

  8. LOTNorm says:

    I disagree on one thing; “rape stand” isn’t an automatically “bad” thing.

    No, really, I think Vick could become a superstar again and an endorsement deal at some point wouldn’t be such a terrible thing when/if he actually earned it as a player on-the-field; which he hasn’t yet. At least he actually went to prison and did significant time for his crimes. That’s almost never the way it goes.

  9. Theresa111 says:

    Bobby, you called it correctly. I will join with you and boycott NIKE.

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