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Roman Polanski entertains me

By: Bobby Finstock on 09/28/09 @ 7:20 am

Last night before I went to bed I sat down in front of my computer to check a few e-mails and see how much money I lost betting on football. Before I signed off I checked CNN.com to see what ridiculous story they felt was front-page worthy, sadly there was no knew Jon and Kate news. There was one story though that automatically grabbed my attention; apparently Roman Polanksi was finally arrested on charges going back to the 1970s for having sex with an underage girl.

The fact that he finally was arrested or his story didn’t really shock me or anything, I have known about his life story for a long time now. (which is a pretty messed up one) I don’t know what he will be remembered for more? Polanksi has directed some great movies including winning an Oscar for “The Pianist”. He was married to Sharon Tate who was killed by the Manson family in California while eight months pregnant. Then you add in the fact that he hasn’t lived in the United States for over thirty years because he had sex with a 13-year-old girl and plead guilty for having sex with a minor. (But skipped town when it looked like the judge was going to issue a stiffer sentence that what was agreed upon.) What really kept my attention reading the article were some of the statements in it.

Polanski was accused of plying a 13-year-old girl with champagne and a sliver of a quaalude tablet and performing various sex acts, including intercourse, with her during a photo shoot at actor Jack Nicholson’s house. He was 43 at the time.”

I am confused about the photo shoot thing. Was she there to be in the photo shoot or was there a photo shoot occurring in general and she just happened to be there? Anyway… I will save the obvious, “Where the hell were here parents?” diatribe for later.

I always wondered about this: who under the age of 25 would want to sleep with a weird 43 year old European guy that wasn’t really that attractive? I guess that is where the drugs come into play. Giving a 13-year-old champagne and part of a lude is the equivalent of Will Ferrell shooting himself in the neck with the tranquilizer gun in “Old School”.

Also the various sex acts statement cracks me up. It says intercourse and then you have to assume some oral but I wouldn’t add them together to say “various”. What else happened? Was there a Cleveland Steamer performed or perhaps a Hot Carl? What constitutes “various sex acts”?

Nicholson was not at home, but his girlfriend at the time, actress Anjelica Huston, was.

According to a probation report contained in the filing, Huston described the victim as “sullen.”

“She appeared to be one of those kind of little chicks between — could be any age up to 25. She did not look like a 13-year-old scared little thing,” Huston said.

I have admitted that I have a horrible time guessing the age of various people. But how the hell do you not just know a 13 year old girl is young and of a questionable age? Getting a 16-18 year old confused with a 21 one year old… sure…. But a 13 year old for a 25 year old? I decided I had to hunt on the internet to find a picture of what she looked like at 13, thankfully CNN provided the victim’s name (Samantha Geimer).

Samantha Geimer

Yeah I can see how they totally fucked that up. Using this scale of age guesstimations means that Megan Fox is 45. Also do you think Polanski sees what she looks like now and wants to take back the whole thing? My question is do you think was destined to be this ugly or did the whole losing your virginity to a weird Hollywood director at age 13 play into it?

Samantha Geimer filed court papers in January saying, “I am no longer a 13-year-old child. I have dealt with the difficulties of being a victim, have surmounted and surpassed them with one exception.

“Every time this case is brought to the attention of the Court, great focus is made of me, my family, my mother and others. That attention is not pleasant to experience and is not worth maintaining over some irrelevant legal nicety, the continuation of the case.”

Oh a focus on your parents, you don’t say? I wonder why that could be? Perhaps letting you attend a photo shoot at Jack Nicholson’s house in the 70s and not being there to supervise might draw the attention of some people. That would be like a kid going over to Bobby Brown and Whitney Houston’s place earlier this decade unsupervised or the Neverland Ranch at anytime during the last 15 years. Who the hell let’s a situation like that happen?

As a parent you pretty much have certain parameters that you need to operate under.

1) Don’t let your kids near unlocked firearms.

2) Don’t let them play with matches.

3) Don’t let them ingest anything that you keep below the sink.

4) Don’t let them go over to Jack Nicholson’s house unsupervised.

So I guess here parents were complete failures or something… Wow this post went entirely too long.

How many sex acts need to occur to be considered “various sex acts”?

About the author

Bobby Finstock

Finstock is founder of Pointlessbanter.net. He is known for his encyclopedia like knowledge on the life and times of Scott Baio. In the future he hopes to write again under his own name in order to impress the ladies and build his celebrity to the levels of other failed internet writers.

14 Responses to “Roman Polanski entertains me”

  1. Meghan says:

    I performed approximately 9 various sex acts on the way to work just this morning.

  2. clientsideshowbob says:

    [In the voice of the Count] – 7, 7 sex acts need to have taken place. And no, kissing doesn’t count.

    Either way, he’s been arrested, he’ll come back for trial, and they’ll probably just banish him back to France. And why not? It’s France! There is no worse place on the planet than to have to live with those stinky cheese people.

  3. Meghan says:

    And WHY is she posing at a Roman Polanski event as an adult???

  4. David says:

    I seem to recall at the time of the trial they mentioned finding his semen in all orifaces including her ears. I have no clue what the name of a sex act including the ears might be but I would be willing to label it “various”.

  5. Raeann says:

    Yeah I heard the relish was all over that girl. I hope he gets off finally and is finally free from this. At the time the judge dicked him over pre trial, I hope he finally gets off or a pardon.

  6. James says:

    Im convinced Nicholson was in on this.

  7. Dan B. says:

    Leave the victim alone. As an impaired 13 year old, she did.nt ask to have her world turned updside down by a criminal pervert. The parents are a fair target and so is Houston. Polanski is a pig and deserves to be skewered in a U.S. prison. Additionally, I beleive he should expect an end more beyond the various sex acts that he is guaranteed to experience there.

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