How the Real World dragged me back in…

I freely admit that I have always been a fan of reality television. Not because I think that it is quality programming, educational, or even that entertaining. There is something about the train wreck nature of it that makes me think that no matter what I do that my life will not be as fucked up as the people involved.

When “The Real World” launched on MTV almost two decades ago I pretty much watched every season. It wasn’t that I would commit and watch every week or anything, I just knew at some point I would be lying in bed hung-over on a Saturday or Sunday and there would be a marathon that would catch me up on it.  We’ve all been there.

Eventually my interest began to wan when they started assigning jobs to the cast. Also the trend of each season having someone goad another person into a fight because they knew if the other person touched them that they would have to go home was lame. If there is violence in the real world why couldn’t I have violence in my fake real world set to a soundtrack of crappy songs? The days of throwing stuffed animals into the water and bitch slaps were over…

After at least a 5-7 year hiatus from the show I have been dragged back in to the Real World Cancun.

Is it still fake? Yeah.

Is it still staged with people getting lame jobs so they “do stuff”? Uh huh.

Do I feel like I have zero connection to the cast? No doubt. Yeah I don’t even know who the hell the people are on the show. I just refer to them by the stereotypes they fill… The gay guy, the slut, the black chick, the asshole, the rocker, the player… You know the same tired people they have been rolling out for years.

The gay one, the black one..... Everyone fits into their stereotypes...weeee

Then why watch it you ask… Four reasons.

1) Fight A: Two girls get into an argument, they have barely been housemates for two months and one drops the, “Well at least I wasn’t adopted” line.

That is like bringing a machine gun to an after school fight between two sixth grade girls. Who the hell drops that on someone they hardly know? I love it.

When you are getting to know someone and they open up giving you little pieces of their lives explaining who they are the last thing you do is turn around a week later and use that piece in a fight. It is such an over the top response that it defies all logic and reason. You are supposed to save that for the ultimate fight between you two when you want to send them into a massive and dark depression, hopefully making them contemplate ending it all… Speaking about ending it all.

2) Fight B: The girl that dropped the adoption comment wasn’t liked in the house and it was discovered that she was a cutter. So what is one to do with that information? Post signs throughout the house inviting her to cut herself including diagrams to show her how to finish the job.

Petty? Yes. Horrible? No doubt. Funny as hell? UH YES.

When you find someone has a horrible affliction and dealing with a mental disorder what should you do? If egg them on is your answer… well we need to become friends.

I can’t wait until next season. “Hey I heard Jessica loves crack… Maybe we should just leave mounds of it around the apartment hoping she goes on a binge and overdoses.”

3) A guy got kicked off for launching a fire extinguisher off of a hotel room balcony. Total destruction of other people’s property with no regard for human safety or other’s well being? Oh I am a fan. When you come home drunk from the bar one of the first things you should always consider doing is breaking something… right?

4) The preview for the show tonight mentions a three way….

Really what more do you need in summer television viewing… Nothing I say.