If you are ugly you should learn how to dance

A few weeks ago a friend of mine that is moving to Boston for grad school came into town to check out her new apartment and get the lay of the land. I played tour guide for the day and ended up meeting her friends to go to salsa lessons and then out to dinner. Actually let me rephrase that, I was going to go with them while they took Salsa lessons with the goal of going to dinner with them.

The lessons were held at a community center outside with a dance floor and a DJ for the advanced performers and a little section for the newer people to learn off to the site. I kind of sat back on the bench and observed the audience; it was a pretty diverse group of people with different ages and races taking part. However there was one major thing that I noticed.

1) There were some really attractive women there.

2) Every single guy there was horribly ugly. (I of course don’t count because I wasn’t dancing.)

In fact you had a wide group of characters including a William Hung clone, the really fat guy trying to be hip by wearing a fedora, and there was even a guy there that looked like a cross breed between Buster Bluth and Kramer. Basically it was a living and breathing pamphlet for genocide.

The disparity between the looks of the two sexes was mind-boggling. I couldn’t think of a time in history where such a gap existed. The end of the “Revenge of the Nerds” suddenly seemed totally plausible.

As the night wore on some of these men displayed their skills on the dance floor, while some where more impressive than others it was completely clear that the fact that they had some ability allowed them to dance with the hot women. In fact some of the dancing was downright erotic. This led me to create a patented theory to go with such winners as:

-Fat chicks give the best head

-If enough white guys sleep with Asian women it would kill off Asian men.

-If you have a coexist sticker you are either a pothead or fat

Now on the list is…. If you are an ugly guy you should learn how to dance because it is the only way to level the playing field… besides obnoxious sums of money.

I’ve even taken the time to reach out to Rupert Grint to see if this holds true.

Does a man who is light on his feet make your heart swoon ladies?