Five People I Would Like To Hang Out With In Their Primes

I always get annoyed when people ask me the question, “What three people, living or dead, would you invite to dinner?” The problem with that question is that why would you want to just sit around and talk with a bunch of eclectic people? Conversation is great but really it is limiting. I would rather hang out with certain people in their primes. I want to see them in their element, how the world reacts to them, and just soak in everything that happens around them.

When I say primes I mean when they were at their peak of being… well being themselves. Sure I could hang out with Kirk Cameron now but I would get bible thumping no fun Kirk Cameron versus I am on the cover of Tiger Beat and on one of the best sitcoms going Kirk Cameron. Personally I would rather want to hang out with Tiger Beat Kirk Cameron.

Here are the five people I would like to hang out with at their peak. (In no real order.)

5) Burt Reynolds- When you watch Burt Reynolds movies from the late seventies and early 80s like “Smokey and the Bandit” you get the sense that it had to be the greatest movie set ever to work on. Reynolds would roll in, drop a couple of lines, everyone would crack up, they would do another take if he messed up, and then Reynolds was off to bang the crap out of starlet. It had to take like a combined 14 hours worth of work to make one of his movies.

The atmosphere even made Jerry Reed extremely likeable and Dom Deluise actually funny. (Besides “History of the World” and the very end of “Blazing Saddles” I don’t know that I ever laughed at anything Dom Deluise has done besides being in films with Burt Reynolds.)

Question I would ask: Is Loni Anderson’s hair designed after Darth Vader’s helmet?

4) Genghis Khan- Raping and pillaging sounds like so much more fun than taking a trip out into the Hamptons. He united a region and then took over Asia and the Middle East like it was nothing plus he started a BBQ chain. This guy was so hardcore that when he died he asked to be buried in an unmarked grave and they named a villain on Star Trek after him. His funeral party killed anyone that saw them on the route to his grave so nobody could find the body.

Question I would ask: What was his favorite sporting good Big 5?

3) Hugh Hefner- You know when people move into your house and still live there years later good shit is going down. What I wonder is where the line of classiness and debauchery intersected. Was Hef ever like, “Really … you don’t need to bring seven women to bed, four is more than enough.”

Question I would ask: Did you just have an IV drip of penicillin going or did you just ask for virgins and teach them the ways?

2) Eleanor Roosevelt – Honestly I just wanted to walk around with her and her press secretary and crack lesbian jokes. Then make a snide remark or two when she would go off with her and the President unknowingly would say something like, “My they do spend a lot of time together.”

Question I would ask: There aren’t really hot lesbian couples in the 1930s either huh?

1) Elvis- I don’t even really like his music but I just would want to be a room with him to hear the discussion about his film career.

Manager: So we are going to have you be a racecar driver and randomly throughout the movie you will just jump out of your car, sing, and do that hip thing….

Elvis: (while eating a fried banana and peanut butter sandwich) mmamdfmafm

Manager: That sounds excellent.

(Elvis then pulls out a revolver and shoot the television in celebration.)

How fun would it be to recreate that at least 25 different times?

Question I would ask- Was it easy ripping off ever black artist you came across?

So what five people would you want to hang out with?