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What I learned yesterday

By: Bobby Finstock on 08/6/09 @ 7:51 am

There were a few events yesterday that I was able to take some valuable lessons from.

My Kickball Playoff Game- We played a team of all Irish young adults that clearly did not know the finer rules of kickball that one would learn in grade school or playing baseball in little league. It led to some arguments with the umpire, some trash talking, and me being able to drop Irish slurs for the first time in my life. (I am half Irish so it is okay, right?)

At one point they were arguing about a run that they felt should have counted and I was able to drop, “We’re talking about the basic rules of baseball our national pastime. If we were talking about U2, rampant alcoholism, and how to construct our railroads maybe you would have a leg to stand on.”

Okay I didn’t say that but I did make a Lucky Charms crack.


Lesson learned: It is really funny to break out some old school white on white racism every once and awhile.

Shooting at the Health Club- For those of you who don’t know a Pennsylvania man went into a local gym and opened fire on a bunch of women taking a class before turning the gun on himself. The guy kept an online blog detailing his frustration with the opposite sex and his plans to get revenge.

Apparently the shooter hadn’t been laid in 19 years which I contend drove him insane. If I go 19 days without getting laid I am pacing around my apartment figuring out the best way to jump out a window. At 19 months I would be flying to the Bunny Ranch in Nevada for a week long trip. At 19 years I probably would be… wait I would never make it to 19 years.

How bad of a social misfit do you have to be semi decent looking and not get laid in 19 years? Between drunk fat chicks, hookers, online dating, and craigslist there are ample ways for one to get laid. If the 40 Year Old Virgin didn’t meet Catherine Keener would the movie have taken a tragic turn with him gunning down women on the streets of LA?

Lesson learned: Don’t buy a weapon while on a dry streak.

Vanessa Hudgens- This picture has to be old because who still has a Razr? But these are allegedly “new” nude pics that have been released conveniently around the release date of her new movie. Why doesn’t she just pose in Playboy and get it over with?


Lesson learned: Young, barely legal girls + camera phones + whorish behavior= my interest in her new movie.

What lessons did you learn yesterday?

About the author

Bobby Finstock

Finstock is founder of Pointlessbanter.net. He is known for his encyclopedia like knowledge on the life and times of Scott Baio. In the future he hopes to write again under his own name in order to impress the ladies and build his celebrity to the levels of other failed internet writers.

8 Responses to “What I learned yesterday”

  1. Goodness Gracie says:

    I don’t get how that dude went 19 years. Either he was really picky or extremely creepy because he wasn’t a bad lookin’ guy.

  2. David says:

    Based on the blog, that guy had to be really bonkers…like make your skin crawl just being on the same street creepy.

    But back to me – being a klutz who is further burdened with astigmatism, suffice it to say, sports are not really my thing so I had no idea that kickball was played by baseball rules. Live and learn.


  3. bethany says:

    Yesterday, I learned that we’ll free a crazy woman (Squeaky Fromme) who finds Charles Manson beautiful and tried to assassinate President Ford into the wilds of Fort Worth, near where President Bush the Second lives, because she’s paid her debt to society, but we won’t remove Pete Rose’s lifetime baseball ban, because he committed a crime and deserves to be punished.

  4. Meghan says:

    I learned a guy I used to have major hots for is INDEED playing the banjo in a religious folk band in Brookline.

    Why couldn’t he just be gay?

  5. Uncle Finstock says:

    1.)I didn’t know people still played kickball is this like drunken Irish soccer ?

    2.)You went the first 19 years of your life without IT, and look how it turned you into the same kind of person that nut was,only differnce is you don’t know anything about guns.

    3.) I thought that was a picture of you know who.

    4.) A side note to that putz you got into the pissin’ match of words with…you ruined the integrity of my favorite comic by using his picture to non-identify the idiot you were arguing with

  6. cigar smoking, beer drinking lawyer says:

    19 days huh? I guess you did try the fleshlight

  7. Wynn says:

    I just relearnt a theory that I’ve had for some time: That guy is why we should encourage our children to get laid from time to time.

    And yesterday I learnt that hmmm… eating too much chocolate fudge brownies results in a sugar rush, and sugar rushes SUCK.

    That’s about it. Oh, and also, the Jaquard loom was pantented in 1805.

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