There were a few events yesterday that I was able to take some valuable lessons from.
My Kickball Playoff Game- We played a team of all Irish young adults that clearly did not know the finer rules of kickball that one would learn in grade school or playing baseball in little league. It led to some arguments with the umpire, some trash talking, and me being able to drop Irish slurs for the first time in my life. (I am half Irish so it is okay, right?)
At one point they were arguing about a run that they felt should have counted and I was able to drop, “We’re talking about the basic rules of baseball our national pastime. If we were talking about U2, rampant alcoholism, and how to construct our railroads maybe you would have a leg to stand on.”
Okay I didn’t say that but I did make a Lucky Charms crack.
Lesson learned: It is really funny to break out some old school white on white racism every once and awhile.
Shooting at the Health Club- For those of you who don’t know a Pennsylvania man went into a local gym and opened fire on a bunch of women taking a class before turning the gun on himself. The guy kept an online blog detailing his frustration with the opposite sex and his plans to get revenge.
Apparently the shooter hadn’t been laid in 19 years which I contend drove him insane. If I go 19 days without getting laid I am pacing around my apartment figuring out the best way to jump out a window. At 19 months I would be flying to the Bunny Ranch in Nevada for a week long trip. At 19 years I probably would be… wait I would never make it to 19 years.
How bad of a social misfit do you have to be semi decent looking and not get laid in 19 years? Between drunk fat chicks, hookers, online dating, and craigslist there are ample ways for one to get laid. If the 40 Year Old Virgin didn’t meet Catherine Keener would the movie have taken a tragic turn with him gunning down women on the streets of LA?
Lesson learned: Don’t buy a weapon while on a dry streak.
Vanessa Hudgens- This picture has to be old because who still has a Razr? But these are allegedly “new” nude pics that have been released conveniently around the release date of her new movie. Why doesn’t she just pose in Playboy and get it over with?
Lesson learned: Young, barely legal girls + camera phones + whorish behavior= my interest in her new movie.
What lessons did you learn yesterday?