Who’s the Dork Now?
Once again, being the total friggin’ idiot I am, (but really by looking at blumpkin porn sites all damn day), I screwed up my computer royally. My computer fix-it-guy is on a first name basis with me now, and that first name is “Quitlookinatporndude”. I’ve been dealing with all things interweb by mobile phone over the past few weeks, which is about as fun and convenient as watching Kate Gosselin wiggle into a size 2 bikini.
Okay. So apparently over the past few weeks of my absence, there was a new Harry Potter flick released on the big screen. I heard something about it from somewhere, who knows.
Anywho, I took my kids to see the latest Disney blockbuster animated, “gonna market the shit out of this thing until there is a combo/Hannah Montana circle jerk” to this thing. I took them to see G-Force. I spent part of the equivalent of the federal highway stimulus package to buy tickets and a box of Jujubes, and it wasn’t half bad. However, one thing I saw irritated me.
Now, Finstock has destroyed the Harry Potter/Science Fiction movie goers on here a bit. Anyone with a comedic pulse has taken a shot at these fucking losers people at some point, but, I can’t resist.
In line witing for tickets, I met a young troll woman who was paying to see the Harry Potter and the Clown That Never Gets Laid for the, count ‘em…one, two, three…seventeenth time. Yep. Seventeen times. Who the hell does this?
I had to find out. So I asked. Apparently, this person also volunteered that she:
Loves Comic-con.
Has visited Japan to go to the Tokyo Anime museum…twice.
Openly critiques comic-to-movie screenings on blogs and websites (think Jay & Silent Bob Strikes Back “moviepoopshoot.com”).
Owns and collects Dragon/Demon figurines and uses them in role-playing games.
Met her boyfriend at the Renaissance Festival in Holly, Michigan and returns every year to repeat the events of said weekend…wait…
Boyfriend? Tell me about him. No need. Enter dork stereotype and you got it. Actually, before she said this, I was about to tell her that it was all over. Go…braid that pubic fur, wash your hair for the first time this decade and go and join Curves already, but…boyfriend?
Damn it. I guess I am the dork in this equation. At least she gets laid on a regular basis. My joint hasn’t been worked on in, well…you get the picture. Maybe I need some figurines and a regular spot on a Halo 3 blog?
Anyone see anybody like this recently?
The only movie I saw in the theater more than once was Happy Gilmore…and there might have been multiple cute dates involved and my love of Adam Sandler back when he was funny.
I’m not gonna lie here, the only movie I can recall seeing more than once in the theater was Revenge of the Nerds Two: Nerds in Paradise. I think it was because I was 13 and I kept thinking there had to be some good T&A in it like the first one. Instead all I got was Courtney Thorne Smith and her beaver impersonation.
happy gilmore is such a kick ass movie, i watch it everytime i find it on tv.
Waterboy is also another one.
Maybe the lesson to be learned here is people that are happy with themselves get laid. Whats the point in being miserable and boring and celibate? Geeks know how to get it on because they watch Xena and anime porn. If you want to dress like a wizard, and blow a princess more power to you.
I am going out on a limb and say the married couple with the preverse fascination with harry potter probably get laid even less than you,
married people dont have sex do they? I saw Dark Knight twice. I think that is the only time I done that. ??? Once with my nephew and once on a date b/c I knew I would enjoy that part of the date at least.