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The Best Free Crap I Have Ever Received: Frenzied Waters

By: Bobby Finstock on 07/20/09 @ 7:14 am

I get hit up by a lot of PR firms wanting to push their products on me. Occasionally I will get something to give away like tickets or other products. (Usually I run contests for those.)

Most of the time these companies ask me to show some stupid “viral” video they created which is inherently lame but they think for some reason I am going to stop writing what I write about and post it all for you to see. (Because if they read my blog they would see I do that SO often.) Other times it will be a company wanting me to talk about some television show that I will never watch but for some reason think I am going to write a lengthy post about it without a preview or without interviewing anyone because “it just sounds interesting”. Usually when I get requests like that I send a really jerk ass reply like, “I wouldn’t watch that even if you forced me by hooking my nipples up to a battery and torturing me.” (Note: PR flacks do not respond to that usually.)

A few weeks ago I got a message asking if I wanted a package sent to me for Shark Week on the Discovery Channel. The message was extremely vague with this being at the middle of it:

These “objects” are hand crafted, very unusual, and unlock….. well, actually
I really don’t want to say much more than that, as it’s going to be far more
interesting if it comes as a surprise.  But we’re hoping you’ll find it
intriguing.  We’re planning to send them out in a  couple of weeks :)

Hand crafted unusual objects? Uh… sign me up. I figured I might end up with a spear type device that I could use on my landlord from my second floor window as he rolled around in his wheelchair. (It is very sporting.)

Last week I got a box with a jar in it. (Note: I ganked these photos from the good people screenrant.com… I am too lazy to take photos.)


I was a  little worried that it was a massive jar of anthrax sent to me by my growing list of enemies. The jar was all white and the top was rusted. I thought about donning a mask or taking it outside to open it but I am really lazy and decided, “F it… who really would want to kill me?”

When opened the jar revealed numerous treasures including a newspaper clipping about my disappearance, chewed up swim trunks, a shark tooth, a boat key, and a beach closed sign with a number phone number that actually worked. The shark tooth had metal object attached to it with a link to Frenzied Waters a viral campaign being done for Shark Week. (It has cool interactive things on the site, you should go and play.)


Honestly I get a lot of junk e-mailed to me and shipped to me, 99% of it I wouldn’t write about even if they paid me. But this was so clever, so funny, and so well done that I had to plug Shark Week and their viral website, Frenzied Waters.

The only thing that can top this is the fact that I might get to interview cast members from P Diddy’s Starmakers… Because really who is a bigger Diddy fan than me? (everyone)

(Note: New popcrunch video on the homepage.)

About the author

Bobby Finstock

Finstock is founder of Pointlessbanter.net. He is known for his encyclopedia like knowledge on the life and times of Scott Baio. In the future he hopes to write again under his own name in order to impress the ladies and build his celebrity to the levels of other failed internet writers.

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