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Please Stop With the Facebook Quizzes

By: Bobby Finstock on 07/1/09 @ 3:00 am

Quizzes have been around forever on the internet to go along with donkey shows and someone shoving a nerf football into a place where it doesn’t belong. The good thing about the internet is that you can avoid things you don’t like. For example I detest thoughtful discussion on the internet so I just read inappropriate stuff all day. I detest quizzes online, I have successfully been able to avoid them for along time but now that Facebook was approximately 1,500,000,000,000 applications based on quizzes it has become impossible.

When it comes to quizzes for like ten minutes they are cute but after that they are beyond annoying. It starts out as a fun little waste of time The first time you answer the quiz for “what celebrity deformity are you?” (I hope I get Megan Fox’s club thumb!) you get hooked. You share the results with your friend. Then you do another, then you do another, and then you become a douche.

The thing about these quizzes is that your result is based usually on one single question. So the 50 part quiz you took to determine what Breakfast Club character you are was probably decided on question number three. But hey you found out that you were Brian Johnson when you thought you were a Bender that was well worth your time.

Because of this I decided to create my own Facebook quiz (which was promptly taken down by Facebook) called: “Are you a douchebag?”

The quiz was only one question:

Do you take online quizzes to share with your friends?

Answer 1: Yes, I think they are awesome my friends care what character I was in Finding Nemo.

Answer2: No they are a waste of time.



If you answered yes you got:

Congratulations you are a douchebag that spends time answering dumb questions on the internet that totally fills your friend’s Facebook page. Nobody gives a shit what Michael Jackson song you are.

If you answered no you got:

Congratulations you are not a douchebag. You don’t want to bother your friend with pointless quizzes like “What feminine hygiene product are you?” Wait a second, didn’t you actually just take a quiz to get this answer. Never mind you ARE a douchebag.

So there you have it… I created the best quiz ever on Facbook only to get it deleted.

So are you a douchebag?

About the author

Bobby Finstock

Finstock is founder of Pointlessbanter.net. He is known for his encyclopedia like knowledge on the life and times of Scott Baio. In the future he hopes to write again under his own name in order to impress the ladies and build his celebrity to the levels of other failed internet writers.

5 Responses to “Please Stop With the Facebook Quizzes”

  1. EpicBlog says:


    The “Are you a douchebag?” quiz would’ve been the only quiz I would have shared with my friends

  2. Nina says:

    I am not a douchebag.

    I am a Sharon Osborne according to the “Which Completely Talentless Celebrity Judge on a So-Called Talent Competition Show Are You?” quiz.

    So there.

  3. Olyn says:

    I am an occasionally offending minor douchebag, but I never share the results with friends, ’cause that’s just annoying.
    I would have taken and shared your quiz though.

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