Bobby “Bernie Maddoff” Finstock

It is time again to turn the land of pointlessbanter.net to my Uncle. This is where you get to get some insight into my life and watch me get continually pummeled by a family member.

There are times in people’s lives when they need to see the big picture, take on a job or task that is grueling and sometimes time grabbing and must put other’s on the back burner in order to proceed forward. Our beloved blogmaster has recently had to embark on tedious yet necessary tasks in his rather laborious way of life to continue on the quest for his brass ring, and having recently spending some quality time with him, I thought I’d share with you all just what he’s been doing and why he is NOT paying attention to the second most important daily read internet site on the face of the planet (number one being the HuffingtonPost, because no one can understand her when she talks, so they read her stupid website)….

1. The drinking….now our founding father has a social and business way of life that keeps him on those 20-hour-a-day junkets that no power drink or prescription drug could possibly help, yet the stories of booze, golf stories, gambling junkets and women just keep rolling off his tongue…the man is the Dean Martin of the next generation, becoming America’s host, taking on all and tackling every unimportant activity that he can, and doing this while never setting down, turning down and/or putting cash down for a single beer, cocktail, shot and pink lady in his path…if he were stopped at a roadblock, the attending officer could use his blood to top off the radiator on his cruiser, yet the breathalyzer test alone could send global warming ahead 25 years…..

2.The golf…now I don’t confess to be a top flight golfer, but I can play a pretty decent game…having recently injured a knee, I haven’t played but 9 holes, plus being in western NY, one day you play golf, the next day you call a snow plow driver….but Bobby recently vacationed in SoCal, playing golf everyday with family so he has “warmed up for the season”…he came to visit here for 5 days’ (what a life), and played 27 holes a day, ruining every piece of real estate between here and his hometown…now when I needed him to come through in an event as my partner on the links, the cart girl was dressed in full body armor, the greens keepers’ went home early because he never put a ball on the putting surface, and the only group’s on the course who were in his ball’s flight path were on the other fairways’ or BEHIND us…you figure that out for yourselves

3.Gambling…I never, ever nor will I ever meet anyone in the rest of my days’ on this earth that never, ever loses at the tables, slot machines or back alley crap games…the man is god when it come’s to the second oldest profession in the world….of course in Bobby’s world the oldest profession is, of course………………………………………….lying.

4. The ladies’….now our lead author and beloved Pulitzer prize finalist has always had a carnal streak in his back, much like his grandfather and my beloved father…..in other words’ the man is a snake….but as Bobby returned to his college embraced hometown, school of course is not in session for the summer, but Bobby still managed to terrorize the town with his wanker at full mast (Herman at his finest)….of course there were stories of conquest with: the Italian divorcee’ with the pimple just to the right of her three feet of cleavage and the braided armpits, the farmer’s/tractor operator lady who’s perfume was just short of the full blown-out manure smell, and the queen of the road, the little lady who road in on the Honda 250, leather vest with nothing on underneath, and “Angel” scratched onto the knuckles’ with the razor and ball-point pen…you know, the women of all our fantasies’ and truly the members’ of the opposite sex that so enthrall Bobby…..and he “conquered” them all, but I did hear him on the phone with a Rite-Aid pharmacist asking when he could pick up his prescription…must be he is ahead of all of us with this swine flu prevention.

Why the Maddoff connection? He’s taking us all for the ride of a lifetime, there are people who want to kill him, and he should be locked up, at least on the weekends, and he’s hosting a drunken, incest laiden “speaking engagement’ in Chicago in 1 week…..he’ll have his picture in their post office shortly