Blame it on the Negroes
Yesterday a news story surfaced about a mother and daughter that were in a minor traffic accident in Pennsylvania. When they got out to inspect their car they were abducted by two men driving a black Cadillac and thrown in the trunk. The mother called 911, allegedly from the trunk of the car asking for the police to help them saying that two black men had abducted them. Later that day the mother and daughter were discovered at Disneyworld after the mother used a co-workers ID to buy plane tickets and book a hotel after withdrawing 12K from various bank accounts. Whoops, I guess the two black guys that you really couldn’t describe didn’t abduct you, well unless you are talking about the crows from the Dumbo ride, right Bonnie Sweeten?
We'll name the lead crow Jim, nobody will be offended.
The blame it on the Negroes strategy has been deployed numerous times throughout the history of the United States some of these stories are more famous than others, hell Bob Dylan mumbled a song about an instance (and mutilated the facts a bit). To me though in what is supposed to be “post racial” America (which is bullshit) we need to start accusing other people that “all look alike”. African Americans have shouldered the false accusations long enough. Here are some suggestions next time you want to falsely accuse someone of something.
This is what I got when I googled old asian women...
1) Old Asians Females- You can’t tell me that one hunched over old female Asian lady doesn’t look the same as every other old hunched over Asian lady. When you get a bus full of them going to an outlet mall or a casino all hell can break loose. The problem with convincing police officers that you were robbed/mugged/abducted by an old Asian lady is that it is going to make you look like a complete pussy.
Rachel McAdams or Elizabeth Banks?
2) Elizabeth Banks/Rachel McAdams- I can’t tell them apart. Banks has a man like looking jaw at times and that is what I use to tell them apart but if I don’t have the right angle or right lighting it is a lost caused. Of course trying to explain to the police why Elizabeth Banks and Rachel McAdams brutally assaulted you because you are trying to cover for the guy in your chemistry class that just date raped you after a night of drinking is a hard sell.
3) Midgets/Mongoloids- While you really can’t get midgets or mongoloids mixed up between the two groups themselves (Corky did not look like one of the people of Oz) you can get them mixed up within their own groups. The downside to this is explaining how either group pulled of a crime because the police aren’t going to take you serious when you name either group.
With midgets you should be able to physically dominate them. As far as them handling a firearm it is near impossible with their small stubby hands…. unless there is a special gun manufacturer that specializes in making weaponry for midgets? Maybe they call themselves “sawed off firearms”… Who knows?
As far as mongoloids well… they do have retard strength, which could provide an excuse for physical domination. But the mental deficiency is something that you should be able to overcome by offering a hug or a baseball. (Everything I learned about retarded people came from “Something About Mary”)
In the end it looks like there isn’t another group of people that white people logically can blame for made up crimes. I’d like to apologize to all the African Americans out there; it is a bum rap and kind of a shitty deal. I think your only hope is a massive increase in the Samoan population. Those bastards are all huge, have a tribal tattoo, and facial hair. In fact maybe you should go and grab a bunch of them against their will and bring them here… uh, strike that.
Well at least we have a black President.
Will we ever find another group of people to randomly blame crimes on?
I blame people with cleft pallets.
You know the funny thing is I was going to write a post about the left pallet ads in magazines and how it instantly makes me vomit…. All those fuckers do look alike.
We get a lot of people blaming “Mexicans” because god knows, hispanic people couldn’t possibly be from anywhere else. I think that’s mostly because our hispanic population is a lot higher than our black population.
Didn’t that broad who claimed she got beat up for being a McCain supporter say it was a black guy?
I think she did state that.
Wait Hispanic people can come from other countries?
This made me think of poor Bushwick Bill. A Half retarded black midget with only one eye. Sniff.
That man is truly a legend.
i laughed when i say that on aol yesterday. susan smith had a better lie than that.
I didn’t know they were found in Disney Land what was this idiots motivation? interesting and yes stop blaming black people I’m white and get blamed for enough shit lol…my daughters half black and with my genes i see her getting blamed for alot of shit too unless people stop with the blaming blacks….geez
Mexicans get blamed for a lot of stuff too. According the million emails I get about it they’re solely to blame for the downfall of the economy and paying for a war apparently pales in comparison to all the illegal babies I’m supposedly paying for and the social security they’re apparently looting. I didn’t know that was the case but since I get the emails forwarded to me several times a week it must be true.
On a different note all the things I know about the mentally handicapped came from watching The Retarded Cop on YouTube.
As far as placing blame, I’m goin for the lefties.
Shit i thought it was because African-Americans had the biggest slice of pie for criminal convictions. But jeez bob, do us a favor get those damn Negroes off the cotton fields. Get the old asians, hot girls and midgets on their. You are a mongoloid so they can stay as they are.
Bob it is called satire. Look into it.
As soon as she said it was two black guys, You could tell she was faking. Come on.
And the fact that she couldn’t describe them… And they threw her in the trunk without taking her cellphone….
Maybe blame it on the Vodka???????
Blame it on the bossa nova.
the trouble with your suggestion, is that it usually IS a black man…sorry! Not too hard to believe! remember this was in Philly. A city I know and love.
You’re an idiot.
My daughters boy friend who’s name is Drew, AND he is from the South, hates all people of color and says they rob everyone all the time. Is he sick? I am not like him and want him to leave us alone and get out of our lives.