I pride myself on getting in on the first few floors of a pop culture phenomenon so I can comment about it and let you guys know what I think. For example I watched my first episode of American Idol like five years in, I wrote a commentary about Twilight on the eve of the movie release, and I wrote a running diary of the Hills at the start of season four. Okay so maybe I am not really getting in on the ground floor as much as I am getting in on like the 15th floor.
Now I am up against the runaway phenomenon that is Jon and Kate Plus 8. So far I had resisted watching the show based on two strong principles:
1) I don’t give a shit about your kids- I don’t even like to hear stories about my friend’s kids and all the cute things they do. Why the hell would I want to watch an entire show about them?
2) It is on TLC- I refuse to watch anything on a channel that wants to make television watching educational.
I really didn’t know anything about the show except for the occasional reference people would make. Really I just kind of ignored everything I came across about it until I saw the reports that the dad cheated on the mom and the mom was possibly banging her bodyguard. When marital infidelity is thrown into any situation it makes it that much more interesting. For example, I didn’t really care about politics all that much and when Bill Clinton came rumbling onto the scene banging local TV reporters, cheating on his wife, and shoving cigars in the vaginas of interns I suddenly became interested. So I decided to tune into TLC this weekend and catch an episode or two leading up to the season premiere where they discuss all these internal issues.
For those of you who haven’t watched the show let me breakdown the premise for you. These two semi attractive people got married and had a set of twins; they tried for another kid (using fertilization treatments) and ended up with six more all in one shot. Sensing that this was interesting Kate videotaped some of their day to day life and sent it into TLC which they ended up turning everything into a show, she got a book deal, and now she travels and speaks all around the US leaving her husband and a few nannies to tend to the kids. So TLC tapes all the cute shit the kids do (they just turned 5) and sends them to these little events, then they interview the parents where Kate reveals herself to be the largest bitch on the planet emasculating her husband and just eating up the spotlight.
The episode last night dealt with all the gossip rag speculation that has come about since the end of season four where Jon was photographed with another women and all these allegations of cheating have been thrown around. I’m not going to give a running diary or anything but there were a few things I wanted to share about the show, specifically this episode.
1) Kate is the biggest martyr ever- Apparently Kate travels a lot now. In doing research there was one report saying she was out of town for 21 out of 31 days because of her book tour, leaving her husband home to take care of the 8 kids. (Of course they have help.) On this episode Kate came back from a trip and Jon basically took off saying he needed some “me” time, which I think is understandable. Kate had to plan for her kids birthday party BY HERSELF. She had to go to the store and buy things for the party BY HERSELF. Throughout the show she made it perfectly clear that she was doing all of this BY HERSELF. I was waiting for Kate to crawl up on the cross and nail herself to it BY HERSELF.
2) Kate is a master media manipulator- You have to give this chick credit, she turned squeezing out six kids in one shot into a cottage industry. They have endorsement deals, apparently a clothing line, a book, speaking engagement, and various other deals raking in millions of dollars while doing so. Not to mention that they get a ton of free stuff, trips, and other considerations for product placement on the show. Basically her vagina was a giant business incubator program. Last night on the show there was a lot of drama in the interviews as they talked to them each separately. Kate pulled the “I am fighting back tears” thing in her interview yet didn’t have the tell tale crying signs like puffy eyes, red eyes, or any real type of emotion on her face. She did the fake sniffle, eye rub, and the blot of the eye with tissues. It was a totally genius move to make people warm up to this ice queen.
In the end I have to say that I am interested in this situation. (And I know I am not the only one.) You have two people that have transformed their lives to one of celebrity. They both have quit their jobs and made “Jon and Kate Plus 8” their business. Now you have an unhappy marriage mixed with the raising of 8 kids and business considerations thrown in. Aside from reconciliation (Kate pointed out that people with “multiples” have a three times higher divorce rate, so that is unlikely) this isn’t going to end well at all. When everything goes to shit, the kids get a little older and a little less cute, and Kate continues to come off as shrill with no husband to play against, just children…. Well this is going to be an epic crash worth watching.
Does that make me a bad person because I am going to enjoy watching their demise and fall from the spotlight?
If you want to check out all the stuff being said about the show I invite you to check out Gosselins Without Pity