I used to do a post called random thoughts where I cleaned out topics or ideas that either weren’t good enough for a full post or not well rounded enough to become one. This is kind of a take on that. Here are a few things that I have discovered about myself in the last two months.
1) I refuse to watch “The Bucket List” because I don’t like confronting my own mortality
Personally I would love to say that I refuse to watch it because it is a piece of sentimental cheesy bullshit but I would be just making a proclamation about something I have never seen… and since when do I do that?
In reality I just don’t want to confront my own mortality. I like to think of myself as an indestructible swashbuckling dude. Thinking about death nullifies both traits. Wait… can someone even describe himself or herself as swashbuckling? (Who am I kidding women can’t have swashbuckling anywhere near their name.) Isn’t that more of activity?
To clear this up, apparently swashbuckling is an adjective that means flamboyantly adventurous.
2) As I have matured I have stopped drunk dialing and have now moved onto drunk texting
I was a BIG drunk dialer; in fact I even have documented some of my favorite calls before. Instead of drunk dialing now I drunk text. I wonder if that is me showing some maturity and respect by not calling people late at night during the week or if I have just become lazy? Why call when you can just text? That makes sense… right? Along with why eat healthy when you can just go to Wendy’s? Why go shopping when you can just have everything shipped to you? Why have sex when you can just purchase Japanese vag in a can?
Let’s ignore that last statement.
3) For being so smart (allegedly) I can do some really dumb things
On my way back to NY last week I stopped to get gas. When I went to go pump said gas into my lovely car the nozzle wouldn’t fit in the gas tank. I examined my car and thought that I had broken something where the nozzle went in. I kept looking at it and trying to figure out what the hell I had done wrong, why was my car broke, and how was I going to get home if I couldn’t pump gas. I was two seconds away from calling AAA when I put the nozzle back onto the pump and realized I had grabbed the diesel nozzle.
Have a great weekend everyone. I am going to the Red Sox vs. Mets game… wearing Mets stuff. This should be good.
Also for you Chicago area readers… I am going to be in town the first weekend in June at a conference and am having a little get together. Check out the information here.