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Confessions of a not so dangerous mind

By: Bobby Finstock on 05/22/09 @ 7:43 am

I used to do a post called random thoughts where I cleaned out topics or ideas that either weren’t good enough for a full post or not well rounded enough to become one. This is kind of a take on that. Here are a few things that I have discovered about myself in the last two months.

1) I refuse to watch “The Bucket List” because I don’t like confronting my own mortality

Personally I would love to say that I refuse to watch it because it is a piece of sentimental cheesy bullshit but I would be just making a proclamation about something I have never seen… and since when do I do that?

In reality I just don’t want to confront my own mortality. I like to think of myself as an indestructible swashbuckling dude. Thinking about death nullifies both traits. Wait… can someone even describe himself or herself as swashbuckling? (Who am I kidding women can’t have swashbuckling anywhere near their name.) Isn’t that more of activity?

To clear this up, apparently swashbuckling is an adjective that means flamboyantly adventurous.



2) As I have matured I have stopped drunk dialing and have now moved onto drunk texting

I was a BIG drunk dialer; in fact I even have documented some of my favorite calls before. Instead of drunk dialing now I drunk text. I wonder if that is me showing some maturity and respect by not calling people late at night during the week or if I have just become lazy? Why call when you can just text? That makes sense… right? Along with why eat healthy when you can just go to Wendy’s? Why go shopping when you can just have everything shipped to you? Why have sex when you can just purchase Japanese vag in a can?


watermelon flavored?

Let’s ignore that last statement.

3) For being so smart (allegedly) I can do some really dumb things

On my way back to NY last week I stopped to get gas. When I went to go pump said gas into my lovely car the nozzle wouldn’t fit in the gas tank. I examined my car and thought that I had broken something where the nozzle went in. I kept looking at it and trying to figure out what the hell I had done wrong, why was my car broke, and how was I going to get home if I couldn’t pump gas. I was two seconds away from calling AAA when I put the nozzle back onto the pump and realized I had grabbed the diesel nozzle.

Have a great weekend everyone. I am going to the Red Sox vs. Mets game… wearing Mets stuff. This should be good.

Also for you Chicago area readers… I am going to be in town the first weekend in June at a conference and am having a little get together. Check out the information here.

About the author

Bobby Finstock

Finstock is founder of Pointlessbanter.net. He is known for his encyclopedia like knowledge on the life and times of Scott Baio. In the future he hopes to write again under his own name in order to impress the ladies and build his celebrity to the levels of other failed internet writers.

9 Responses to “Confessions of a not so dangerous mind”

  1. David says:

    That is a striking picture of you wearing your swashbuckling robe. Very fetching, I must say.

  2. Yolanda says:

    You’ll thank me after you go there. Hope you like it!

    • I have seen that site before and it is excellent.

      • Lori says:

        I think we’ve gone from drunk texting instead of drunk dialing because then we have a history of what we said. I’m not sure that’s actually better but at least you know how big an ass you made of yourself.

        Here’s the question to ponder though. Which are worse, the drunk texts that get responded to, or the ones that don’t?

  3. Vince says:

    Try not to get in a fight with any Sox fans, while they will more than likely be weaker than you, you will be greatly out numbered.

  4. Meghan says:

    Vag in a can is going to haunt me the rest of the day. It looks like its made out of Renuzit Jelly. Blecchh.

  5. Dave says:

    Vag in a Can. Is that the polar opposite of D*ck in a Box?

  6. Natasya says:

    hahahah drunk texting

    never drunk of anything but love

    *yuck :lol:

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