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I have a new full time job- dating

By: Bobby Finstock on 05/20/09 @ 6:51 am

Match.com has been good to this site. It helped me create the looking for love in all the wrong places series that led me to a matchmaker, adult friend finder, craigslist, and other online sites. It also led to my first date series where a date’s roommate discovered this blog after I wrote about her. Match.com has given me something else as well, no not herpes, but 8 dates in 10 days.  I tried to select 8 very different people and types to go on dates with.

I have played multiple sports in my lifetime, I have walked through major cities in Europe, I have hiked, and I have drank an metric shit ton of beers while golfing to the point where I had to go to ER for potential alcohol poisoning. All of those events were much easier to deal with. Going on that many dates in that period of time was the most exhausting thing I have ever been through. It seriously felt like I had another full time job, the e-mail correspondence alone took hours a day to deal with.

Why go on that many dates with different women in that period of time? Why do you touch the iron as a child even though your parents tell you that it is hot? Why do you drink milk that is expired for the first time? Why do you sign up for an environmental mailing list that gives your name out to every tree hugging organization ever? You do these things because you or in this case I… I am a complete dumbass.

What did I learn about dating, life, and myself by doing this?

Talking about yourself gets really boring, in fact it gets to the point where you just tell random stories that pertain to nothing because it is better than talking about the same shit over and over again. I tried to turn the conversation as much as possible to my dates but eventually you have to talk about yourself. It feels like I have an entire routine down now when I talk about the standard things like work, how many homeless people I have killed, my thoughts on Poland’s growth, would I slap my Grandmother if she dated Kit Bond, and the amount of sexual partners I have had. (Note: Only one of these things was discussed on a date.)


For entertainment purposes I tried to go to the same restaurant a few times so I could feel like the lead character in John Tucker Must Die. Sadly I didn’t have the same waitress at either place, but it would have been awesome if I did.

Eating dinner out and drinking at least three drinks on each date makes you gain weight. I put on four pounds during this whole experience. WTF is that? So I decided to become bulimic to even things out.

Boston is filled with bandwagon sports fans. Never in my life have I met so many people in a week that are all excited about the Celtics playoff games but never watched a regular season game. I wonder if this is just a women thing or a Boston thing or some odd combination of the two.

At the end of all of this I am still dating, only one of the women that I went on the 8-date odyssey with ended up with a second date. I will give a breakdown of the 8 later this week.

Oh and in case you were wondering: $550. Yes I pay for all my first dates.

I don’t have a question that pertains to this so: Do you think crack is really whack?

About the author

Bobby Finstock

Finstock is founder of Pointlessbanter.net. He is known for his encyclopedia like knowledge on the life and times of Scott Baio. In the future he hopes to write again under his own name in order to impress the ladies and build his celebrity to the levels of other failed internet writers.

24 Responses to “I have a new full time job- dating”

  1. Dave says:

    They have a name for someone who’s job it is to go on dates. And it rhymes with schmostitute. And yes, crack is whack.

    • Dude your stepping on tomorrows blog about hookers already….

      Well look at it this way… $550 would be like one and a half hookers and I got 8 dates… that is VALUE.

  2. Meghan says:

    At least you arent going about it like the dude at my local Whole Foods. Ive seen him about a dozen times the last 6 months just wandering aisles during rush hours, trying to pick up women saying things like ‘What do you think of this?’ ‘I wish I had a tutor on how to cook this stuff!’, ‘C’Mon…is organic cheese really better?’

    The women are always creeped out. It’s like he has duct tape and a pair of gloves hanging out of his man bag.

    The funny part is he knows I know what he’s doing so if we catch eyes he darts like I’m undercover store security.

  3. clientsideshowbob says:

    Plumber’s crack is whack, for sure. Good to see you’re back!

    8 dates in 10 days, I know you’re exhausted. It’s almost a scene out of Loverboy. If you tell me you got to drive a decommissioned Postal Service truck and wear a fake mustache, you might just become my idol…


  4. Taylor Blue says:

    You paid $550 for all eight dates? Really? That seems like a bargain to me! :)

  5. Raeann says:

    I know someone who was looking for a job and dating like that at the same time, the interview process, the hiring process, new job, it was the same thing on both accounts.

  6. Fabulous says:

    Oh God….what a nightmare..but you are right. Dating is like a constant job interview…if you have too many first dates, you start getting annoyed with your own stories.

    That’s when I take a break.

    First Date QUEEN ;)

    Match.com was pretty horrible when I used it years ago. My most profound memory I blogged about in this blogpost…. http://fabulouslyoutthere.blogspot.com/2009/05/this-is-one-liberating-project-possums.html

    Hey, we have to laugh at ourselves, no?

    PS: Did we go on a date? I don’t think so. ;)

  7. Vince says:

    Crack is no longer whack, crystal meth has taken over that one but nobody has come up with a clever rhyme to let people know its whack.

    As for Boston fans being bandwagon hoppers I couldn’t agree more. I notice a huge amount of Tom Brady jersey here in DC after they won the superbowl the first time.

  8. Sassysar says:

    Ah! Same! Ugh… I am horrible at responding to emails on Match mostly cuz they BORE me, and I am sick about talking about myself, what my plans for the weekend are, etc. If you don’t agree to meet up quickly, Im bored.

    I doubt you are one of the boring ones I have sitting in my inbox waiting for me to respond to…? ;-)

  9. LittleRedRidinghood says:

    “Well look at it this way… $550 would be like one and a half hookers and I got 8 dates… that is VALUE.”

    Shoulda’ just paid the hooker. At least you’d leave with a lighter load, “delivered as promised.”
    Crack? Are you smokin’ again? Your wack. ;)

  10. [...] the original: Dating is like a fulltime job | Pointless Banter May 20, 2009 — Dating is like a fulltime job | Pointless Banter (0)May 18, 2009 — Dating Tips – [...]

  11. 1. I went on 20 dates in 30 days when I started Internet dating. Of course, that was before everyone had a digital camera (YES I AM OLD) so you can imagine how fun some of those dates were.

    2. First dates should be interviews for real dates. Which means two drinks and you’re done. That way if you insist on paying you’re only out $40-$50.

    I am the anti-Patti Stanger.

  12. em em says:

    Crack is whack… but not wiggity whack, just regular kind. Mean as it sounds, sometimes I think its harder to look like you give a crap about somebody else’s life stories than to keep telling your own- especially when you’re on a date that you know is a bust from like the first ten minutes in but want to try and give them a fair chance.

  13. Kat says:

    You’d never make it as a stripper.
    It’s like a bad date marathon ALL day long :p

  14. Isha says:

    This makes me so glad that I’ve never been on a real date. If you wanna get to know me, you’ll figure me out eventually.

  15. PsYcHo BiTcH says:



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