Hitler the Artist
Last week a bunch of paintings and drawing from the young Adolf Hitler went up for auction and fetched over a hundred thousand dollars per piece. The artwork isn’t very good and most critics have openly panned it. (I am sure there might be a spec of bias against the artist. Deservedly so.) One of the people that purchased a painting said they were going to hang it in their home or office as a conversation piece. While I get people owning some odd things like perhaps a statute that has a massive penis that you found in Brazil that is an ode to a fertility god, I don’t get the whole Hitler thing.
Doug: I am so excited to meet with you today Steve to close this deal. I do have to say that is one horrible looking piece of art behind your desk.
Steve: Oh yeah…. You know I bought that at an auction. Do you know who painted that?
Doug: A retarded kid?
Steve: No Hitler.
Doug: So you have no taste in art and hate the Jews, this deal is off.
(Nice purchase Steve… Nice purchase.)
Yahoo posted pictures of Hitler’s “art” and I wanted to take a second to review some of his pieces and do some analysis on the psychology behind it.
Piece 1: “Young boy plots extermination of entire race.”
This is supposed to be considered a self-portrait of Hitler. Notice the love of the brown shirt early on in his life. Also I couldn’t help but notice the blood colored river that the bridge covers. I am sure that isn’t foreshadowing any deep psychological issues. Just like when kids sadistically kill small animals and torture them.
Piece 2: “Stern Jewish man that I would like to kill one day.”
The title alone should have been a warning but what the hell, we ignored the fucked up kids that did Columbine. I guess we can’t judge people from 95 years ago. Anyway I would like to note the suffering in the man’s eyes, which can only be drawn by a megalomaniac with one testicle.
Piece 3: “Pretty flowers grown in countries I would like to eventually take over.”
He painted flowers… what a homosexual. (Not that there is anything wrong with that.)
Each color is supposed to designate a country or region. Red is for Russia (for the Soviet flag), Yellow is for France (for obvious reasons), Orange is for the Netherlands, Pink is for England (because they are so effeminate), and Purple is for Poland (Hitler was big on alliteration).
Hitler art, cool conversation starter or a what the fuck are you thinking purchase?
Sadly I was outbid on every piece. I thought the Hitler paintings would have considerably better investment potential than the stocks in my 401K
The long term value is there.
Is anyone else but me wondering if this isn’t some sick prank. In like three years some parent will come forward and admit that they pawned their kid’s horrible fourth grade artwork off as Hitler’s in an attempt to finance their herion addiction.
How awesome would that be?
hmm could be a conversation starter if a group of people are really drunk..it could also be a start of a fight if they are all jewish lol
ah i don’t care, not an art person, but i bet if people sell it on e-bay they can make some money i’m sure
Wow, the many talents of Hitler.
Well, it’s not like the money is going back to Hitler or the National Socialist party … OR IS IT?
They would make a great conversation starter if you enjoy explaining why you’re not a Nazi.
I would have liked Hitler to have had a PBS Show where he shared his talent Bob Ross style.
Instead of Happy Little Clouds he could fill the skies with Happy Little Jewish Gold Stars.
“Okay, we have our little brick oven, so now I’m going to dip into the Aryan White and we’ll add some happy little smoke plumes.
We’re gonna make some big decisions in my little world.”
Aryan white and Jack Boot Black … Its so Ebony and Ivory.
You know, I have a collection of lullabies sung by Himmler that I could sell you…