"Maybe it was a dream, you know, a very weird, bizarre, vivid, erotic, wet,
detailed dream. Maybe we have malaria."


Why can’t there be compromise in the gun control debate?

By: Bobby Finstock on 04/13/09 @ 6:43 am

I don’t really write about politics that often because I don’t give a shit what you believe and I am sure you don’t give a shit what I think either. Lately though there is one issue that has been bugging me a little and since I own the blog I am going to vent a little.

There are certain political and social issues that no matter what you do the debates will become circular and there is no real compromise to be reached. Religion, abortion, legalization of whippets, and other topics will just never have people compromise and move on. There are other issues that are just too complex and nuanced for most people to understand or for an easy resolution to come: immigration, the designated hitter, and if Lady GaGa is attractive or not.

One issue that I just don’t understand is why there isn’t any compromise on is gun control? After this year’s end of winter shooting season the debate has risen again. (I totally think we should just blame seasonal affective disorder.) But once again each side is entrenched, bought out by lobbyists, unrealistic, or just plain nuts i.e. Glenn Beck. (THEY WANT TO TAKE ALL YOUR GUNS AND MOLEST YOUR CHILDREN… [insert tears here].)


Politically I consider myself down the middle with a slightly left lean on social issues. I believe in logic, compromise, and really hate bullshit rhetoric. I get why people want to, can, and should own guns. I have friends and family that hunt and have guns for protection. Would I own one? No, but I respect and understand why people do. As long as people are properly trained, licensed, and have a responsible place to keep it I am all for you owning a handgun, shotgun, and most rifles.  I even get the slightly wing nut reasoning that it can be looked at as a responsibility of the citizen to arm themselves to hold off oppressors. (Considering how our country was founded. No I am not wearing a tin foil hat right now.)

There are two points to this debate I don’t get. First is why people need like an AR15 or automatic rifle? Wait, I should use the term that people use now for these “Sport Utility Firearms”. (I love how we can masturbate the English language to make anything sound better. “Honey that wasn’t a hooker you caught me with but a natural relaxation therapist.”)  I’m sorry you aren’t going to be hunting Bambi with that and honestly if you can’t fend off a burglar with a handgun then you probably need to move to a different neighborhood. There really isn’t any positive to these being on the market. Well except for the one reason I have been hearing lately? Gun collectors.

Gun collecting is also used as reasoning for the second point I don’t understand, why should going to a gun show and picking up a weapon should be allowed? I think it is bullshit that there is a major loophole with that. Why you ask? Because gun shows/baseball card shows/(insert canceled TV show conventions here) are no better than flea markets. I went to the flea market when I was little and bought the infamous and outlawed lawn darts. I was barely a teenager, they didn’t question it, and let me just say the results weren’t good. (Note: Tossing lawn darts and trying to hit your sister leads to a really long punishment.)

Besides when did collecting anything become a reason to make anything okay? Can we use the “I collect it” card to get out of anything now?

Judge: Mr. Johnson you have the skulls of 14 kids in your basement. How do you plead?
Mr. Johnson: Your honor I am a collector.
Judge: Oh shit, I didn’t know it is totally okay then.

On the flip side to this you can’t just ban gun ownership in cities. (cough Washington DC cough) It is too late in the game and our history to do something like that. So why can’t there be a middle ground reached here? People can own guns but you can’t go pick up a rocket launcher at a gun show because you like to collect high-grade explosives to sell to Mexican drug cartels at a 300% markup.

And please for the love of all things that are important to me when you debate the issue on cable news can you stop with the “they want to take all your guns” and “because people can buy guns everyone will die” arguments? No good discussions come from it.

There I just solved that issue what’s next? Is making out cheating? If you get a blow job from a trannie does that make you gay? What subject do I need to handle?

About the author

Bobby Finstock

Finstock is founder of Pointlessbanter.net. He is known for his encyclopedia like knowledge on the life and times of Scott Baio. In the future he hopes to write again under his own name in order to impress the ladies and build his celebrity to the levels of other failed internet writers.

29 Responses to “Why can’t there be compromise in the gun control debate?”

  1. Uncle John says:

    The NRA’s lobbyist have such a firm hold on our Congress that it is impossible to adjust (for lack of a better word) our 2nd amendment right to kill everyone we disagree with, butcher the neighborhood kids’ and/or shoot the bastard who walked on my newly seeded lawn

  2. Darryl says:

    >>If you get a blow job from a trannie does that make you gay?

    Being gay myself but never having gotten a bj from an trannie, I would really like to hear the straight guy’s viewpoint while you finally put that probing question facing the men of America to rest.

    Living in DC, I think the handgun ban was well intentioned but is unfortunately totally useless. A few years a go, thanks to the turf wars between battling drug dealers, we had the highest per capita murder rate of any city in the nation. Finally we came in first!!! Yeah!!

  3. Rick says:

    Generally, there is no compromise on hot button issues because only insane people devote their lives to their opinions.

    Pro: Stop controlling my vagina and insides! Get out of my uterus!
    Con: You’re murdering the next Jesus (or maybe anti-Christ, but that’s why we have the death penalty)!

    Pro: The entire history of the world is in the Bible and must be followed by all people on Earth!
    Con: Religion is the cause of every war in the world — unless you count wars for oil or sheep-herding rights!

    Pro: If we don’t let everyone into the country with no system for cataloging and taxing them, then we’re all racists!
    Con: They’re breathing all of our air!

    This is why there is no moderate political party. Sane people are busy working real jobs and having hobbies. Or writing comedy.

    • I don’t get how guns got lumped in with religion and abortion which kind of has happened.

      If people bitch and fight about an issue enough then have corrupt lobbying behind it does it shift into that category.

      It would be great if I had a ton of money and we created a totally benign issue and then created a riot behind it to see if we can get it into that class.

      I say we start a “Tacos should never cost more than .79″ campaign.

  4. Uncle John says:

    I am in agreement with you 100 percent, I just don’t believe that you need to fire 400 rounds per millisecond is the approved method of defense

  5. Marcie says:

    Judge: Mr. Johnson you have the skulls of 14 kids in your basement. How do you plead?
    Mr. Johnson: Your honor I am a collector.
    Judge: Oh shit, I didn’t know it is totally okay then.


    If you get a blow job from a trannie does that make you gay?

    Yes..yes it does…i learned this in jail ;)

  6. Meghan says:

    First of all if you get a blow job from a tranny it is definitely cheating. That’s a line in the sand.

    Second, the gun issue is equally as frustrating as arguing about religion and abortion. The logic gets so skewed it makes my head want to explode.

    You’re a gun collector, fine; put it on a shelf in a glass case sans hollow point bullets.

    But just because you found your way down to the Civic Center on a Sunday doesn’t mean you have the right to collect anything. They aren’t stamps or Hummel figurines.

    Actually people that collect those creepy doughy faced Hummel should have their background checked too.

    • People that have a unnatural amount of any one item in their home scare me.

      • David says:

        I would not worry about those people too much Bobby. Most folks with large quantities of firearms are collectors who are upstanding individuals. You asked why do people need AR-15 type rifles. There are a few reasons. One would be to be technologically on par with a any potential oppressors, (The founding fathers had the same equipment that the British did) and there are many different shooting competitions that exclusively use this type of rifle. With that said, I respect your opinion even if it differs slightly with mine. I think we can all agree that reduction in crime, starts with the enforcement of existing laws and the removal of laws which prevent people from defending themselves.

        • Like I said in the post I get the wanting to have arms to fight off oppressors but there is no way to technologically keep up. Even if you had those you still would be wildly outgunned?

          So you should be able to get anti-aircraft missiles, tanks, and F-22 fighter Jets?

          I know we want to apply the code and morals of our forefathers but there is a point when technology and society out pace that.

          Enforcement of existing laws would be great, I would agree with you in general there.

  7. Jeremy says:

    Up here they started a gun registry. Their argument is that now we’ll know where the guns are and gun crimes will decrease.

    I would love to do a poll and find out how many criminals turned in their guns. That’s like asking drug dealers to register so we know where the drugs are.

    The amount of money wasted on this could have done a lot of good. Too bad the government tried to fix a problem with a crap solution.

  8. bethany says:

    Surprised this hasn’t ignited the controversy I thought it would. I was cringing to read the replies.

    Somehow, gun control isn’t that big of an issue to me as it once was. Blame it on being a Texan, but I think we have other issues to focus on right now… when we don’t, I pretty much feel the way you do.

    I know everyone talks about “keeping up with the competition” and we need to be able to defend ourselves from our government, if they start taking away our liberties…” I guess that’s a big ol’ Ooooopsie…. but, in reality, our government has far more powerful weapons at their disposal than the average American will ever be able to get their hands on. So the assault weapons? I completely agree – I have no idea to the logic to the other side’s argument.

    • Supremo doesn’t read me anymore and we aren’t friends on Facebook so there goes 75% of potential bad reaction.

      I figured there wouldn’t be that much of a discussion because it was a politically tinged post. People don’t want to read that when they come here.

  9. Kobie says:

    RE: Gun Control — I am in complete agreement.
    RE: The BJ from the tranny — It depends on whether you knew it was a tranny before receiving the blowjob.

  10. cigar smoking, beer drinking lawyer says:

    I guess I kinda disagree. I have several guns, hell I could outfit a small army. I do think there needs to be some tightening of loopholes. And for those who don’t know fully automatic weapons are illegal except to a very small class of people who have gone to the trouble to get a FFL class 5(?) license.

    and yes I have an AR-15

  11. Jessica says:

    Is making out cheating? Depends on how drunk you are and who the girl was. If there was history, yes. If she was totally random and it led nowhere, then no. Although you may want to factor in how psycho your current girl/boyfriend is, because that may change things a bit.

    And when it comes to trannies, a mouth on your penis is a mouth on your penis. As my best friend’s wise little brother once said, “It’s only gay if the balls touch.”

  12. Chris says:

    I agree that people owning assault weapons is a little nutty. I personally own a Colt 1911 .45 pistol, but that’s it. I figure if I can’t solve the problem with 7 .45 slugs, then I’m in alot more trouble than I should be.

    And to be honest, the AR15 is a peashooter.

  13. Don says:

    Bobby, isn’t there already a “compromise?”

    Automatic rifles, machine guns, silencers, short barrel shotguns/rifles are already essentially illegal.

    Anybody convicted of a felony cant buy/own a gun.

    Anybody with a mental disease cant buy/own a gun

    Anybody with any sort of domestic violence history cant buy/own a gun.

    Anybody dishonorably discharged from the military cant buy/own a gun.

    Anybody buying a gun from any dealer (including those at gun shows) must go through a FBI background test.

    I don’t see why rifles like the AR15 are singled out besides the fact they look scary. Any AR15 you can legally buy is functionally identical to any other non-scary looking semi auto rifle.
    Statistically, people who jump through all the legal hoops currently in place to legally obtain a firearm aren’t the people committing the crimes. Law abiding people tend to follow the law. Criminals tend to ignore it. What good will creating more laws do besides piss off people who are already following the rules?

    On the Trannie issue, that seems blog worthy in its own right. There are a lot of different factors in play.

  14. steve says:

    thanks don thats of the what the rest of the friggin world needs to understand. morebans.org… read the list of guns damn anti-gun activist want to outlaw. hundreds and hundreds of guns… and a vast majority of them are defiantly not assault, automatic, or even semi-automatic weapons.they are bolt action rifles.

    just a few things that will make a gun illegal if this bill passes

    ammo capacity over7 rounds internal or external
    caliber larger than .25 auto

    telescoping or collapsing stock
    pistol grip
    semi auto
    ammo capacity over 3 rounds
    .30 calibers and larger=gone

    shot gun:
    ammo capacity over 6 rnds
    pistol grip
    telescoping stock(which is a huge hit for a good turkey gun)

    anyway the few guns we will be left with to defend ourselves ammount to a handful of pistols that wouldnt fully penetrate an apple and only a few bolt action rifles with a mag cap of 3 rounds. most have a capp of 4-6, and the most that are 3 are magnum cartridges that push bullets at least .30 cal.

    so to defend our selves against an illegal semi-auto or fully auto assault rifle or pistol us upstanding law abiding citizens are left with moot.

    its like bringing a prius to a monster truck rally.

    i personally dont give a damn what you care to do with your gun rights, just dont force your decisions on me.

    gun crimes are the fault of delinquents that acquire and use firearms illegally. gun accidents are the result of irresponsible use. neither are the fault of manufactures.
    Is a car accident the fault of the driver or the manufacturer?

    there should be no debate. all guns should be left open to all (law abiding) citizens because even if you out law all guns there is still a black market, which by the way crimiminals tend to use so criminals will always have guns even if we dont.

    the second amendment guarantees these rights to me, and the first guarantees me the right to post it…. or at least they did when the constitution meant anything. that being said feel free to respectfully agree or disagree with what i say and i will grant you the same courtesy

© 2009 Pointless Banter - All Rights Reserved || Designed: E.Webscapes || Social Media Consulting: Comedy Central Sound