"Maybe it was a dream, you know, a very weird, bizarre, vivid, erotic, wet,
detailed dream. Maybe we have malaria."

» Monthly Archives: April 2009

Please Don’t Encourage Them: Celebrity Hobbies that Must Be Stopped.

By: slackmistress on 04/30/09 @ 12:29 pm

People – women mostly – used to ask me how I manage to work in Hollywood when there’s a tall blonde supermodel actress waitress someone hotter than me lurking around every corner.
Simple, I’d tell them – it’s their job to sit and be pretty. (And occasionally act.) It’s my job to write.  I wasn’t trying [...]




Celebrity Predictions!

By: Armand Assante's Left Ventricle on 04/30/09 @ 6:30 am

Rihanna – After ridding her life of abusive men completely, becomes a spokeswoman for an anti- domestic violence campaign. Her career is cut short, however, when during the first commercial, the director suffers an overwhelming urge to beat her to death.




The 10 Ugliest Gobots Ever Made

By: donkeysosa on 04/29/09 @ 6:16 am

In 1983, Tonka unleashed Gobots upon an unsuspecting populace of pre-pubescent boys hungry for something to replace their soon to be moldering Return of the Jedi toys.  The concept was strong: vehicles that transformed into robots.  The execution: um, not so much.  The line of toys turned out to be one of the most laughably [...]




Romance is the new horror

By: Guest Blogger on 04/28/09 @ 6:35 am

Good afternoon, my name is Melissa Glisan, and I write romance. I feel like I should admit that fact with all the pathetic sincerity of someone entering a twelve-step program given the freakish route romance has taken. Yeah, I know, in real life romance is pretty much a joke. Its just a trick most guys [...]




Hitler the Artist

By: Bobby Finstock on 04/27/09 @ 6:43 am

Last week a bunch of paintings and drawing from the young Adolf Hitler went up for auction and fetched over a hundred thousand dollars per piece. The artwork isn’t very good and most critics have openly panned it. (I am sure there might be a spec of bias against the artist. Deservedly so.) One of [...]




But It Is A Tradition

By: Bobby Finstock on 04/24/09 @ 7:59 am

I love a good excuse, I always have. Even excuses used by sex offenders. What I can’t take though is a crappy excuse. One of the crappiest excuses used in society today is that “it’s a tradition” excuse, which is directly related to “that is the way we have always done it” line. Both of [...]




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