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I watched the entire Sex and the City movie and lived to tell about it

By: Bobby Finstock on 03/31/09 @ 6:40 am

It is Sunday afternoon and I am supposed to be enjoying the second to last weekend of the NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament but the games are blowouts and not very entertaining. Instead of suffering through the entirety of these games I decided to voluntarily watch… The Sex in the City movie… yes gentlemen you may take my testicles now.

I watched the show probably about half a dozen times in my lifetime and have poked fun of it once or twice in this blog in a lighthearted manner but have never really dove into an analysis of the show. There always has been something that bugged me about the show and I could never put my finger on it. Maybe because some of it transferred into my life like dating the divorced single mother with no job that thought she was Carrie Bradshaw…

Her: I want shoes!
Me: Perhaps you should buy a fucking vacuum cleaner.

While comical it wasn’t that. Perhaps it was hearing women endlessly talk about how great the show was and how empowering it was for women when a man wrote the show and the movie. (I know it was based off Candice Bushnell’s book but still.) Apparently women can’t really give insight about being a woman, it needs to be written by a man…  What kind of message does that send? Eh, that isn’t it.

When I was watching the movie it finally hit me. Each of these four characters embodies something I don’t want in a woman. While I will say you could take the best traits of each person to make a spectacular female, as long as they didn’t look like Sarah Jessica Parker, the traits that they are most known for are horribly annoying.


Samantha- Which guy wouldn’t want the sexually explicit Samantha? Okay not the current 50-year-old version but like a younger, thinner, and less Botox filled version. Honestly I wouldn’t. Sure I like a girl that can fly a freak flag in bed but Samantha is the slutty girl at the bar that sleeps with every guy she can as a way to fill something that is missing in her life. While she is successful in her career she still needs some sort of acceptance. She is a broken human being.

Annoying trait- Sex is her major form of acceptance; cock fills a void… what void that is I have no idea.

Miranda- I always thought that out of all the people on the show that Miranda was the most respectable and realistic. She was professional, driven, and wasn’t as a shallow as the other characters in the show. During the movie though I realized she mirrored someone a friend was in a relationship with. She was successful, intelligent, driven, selfish, know it all, and a total shrew that would ultimately make your life miserable. There is nothing wrong with being a strong independent woman but pissing all over the lives of others to maintain your position is not a respectable quality.

Annoying trait- She can make everyone’s life around her miserable and wouldn’t give a shit.

Charlotte- Off the bat Charlotte comes off having a lot of endearing traits. She would be a loyal wife and a good mom. Of course if she had to make a decision that required thought or veered off of the plan that she laid out for her the world would come to an end. She is the type of women that doesn’t form her own opinion, which is annoying. She is the antithesis of Miranda but not exactly in a positive way. I like to actually be around people that can think for themselves and not someone that will adapt to every belief and thought that I have.

Annoying trait- Has no ability to formulate her own ideas and opinions.

Carrie- This is the easiest person for me to pick apart. She is everything that is wrong in society. Cosmopolitan is her bible and that is not something to be proud of. Her crass commercialism and ultimate shallowness is her downfall in her quest for love. In the end she overcomes it but obviously it is revealed that it is a major character flaw. The funny thing is this major flaw is what she is celebrated for which makes the movie confusing. 90% of the movie is filled with mentions of labels, products, shoes, but then she realizes that her shallowness and selfishness drove her “Mr. Big” away. Yet she is reunited with him when she goes to retrieve a pair of shoes from an apartment they were going to share. What is the lesson there?

Annoying trait- She is the girl that reads Cosmo and believes in the content.

I can’t believe I just wrote 800 words on Sex in the City. In the end I guess the lesson is that when I meet a women and she says that it is one of her favorite shows because she can relate to the characters I need to run… far away.

Am I wrong or right in my assessment?

About the author

Bobby Finstock

Finstock is founder of Pointlessbanter.net. He is known for his encyclopedia like knowledge on the life and times of Scott Baio. In the future he hopes to write again under his own name in order to impress the ladies and build his celebrity to the levels of other failed internet writers.

31 Responses to “I watched the entire Sex and the City movie and lived to tell about it”

  1. cigar smoking, beer drinking lawyer says:

    I can’t believe I just read 800 words about Sex in the City.

  2. Vince says:

    While I dealt with the same problem you did (I had a pretty good bracket going until Louisville and Pitt lost, and I still can’t believe Louisville lost) I couldn’t make myself watch that movie so I watched a treasure hunting documentary instead.

    I have watched the show a few times and have to say that you are pretty spot on in you assesments of all 4 women. And I completely agree with you that if a girl ever tells me its her favorite show and that she relates to the characters (especially Carrie) I need to run away.

  3. Singlegal says:

    You aren’t wrong – of course, their faults are exactly the point. And, I always had a bit of a problem with the Miranda as the “I’m so busy and successful, yet I have time to eat dinner and have drinks with my friends ALL the time”. But, the beauty of the show (and perhaps not embodied in the movie) is that they made all the classic dating mistakes we ALL do – more stylishly, of course – but they seem to have given a name to all of the experiences we have, and dread. And in the end, they get back up on the saddle …
    Now, go watch some Vin Diesel to get your Man Card reinstated :-)

    • Yeah but the images that they are portraying I think are damaging to females because they like latch onto them.

      Isn’t Vin gay? I need some Burt Reynolds movies…

  4. Matt E. Warren says:

    I’m kind of waiting for these 800 words to be blasted by someone that will call you out on actually taking the time to write about it. You know, kind of like how so many people had to point out your dislike of “Twilight” or Generation Y. Here let me give you a preview.

    HOOR says: “Ur such a loser. I love this show and movie and it is the greatest victory in the history of womens rights. If you are so bothered by it, why did u rite so much about it? if it bothers u so much, why dont u just leave us alone? Ur such an ass. Where’s my latte?”

  5. Tori says:

    I’ve watched a few episodes, but I just never got it. I remember reading an analysis that one of the newspapers did showing that there’s absolutely no way that Carrie could have afforded even the stuff they showed her having. It always annoyed me.

    To be honest, if I ever start acting like anyone on that show, you have my full permission to shoot me.

    • Yeah I know. Unless her books sold 1.9 billion copies.

      • Mandy says:

        She lived in a rent controlled apartment- it was like 750 a month with utilities. They talked about it all the time…plus there were several shows where she talked about maxing out her cards and then the one where she couldn’t get a loan for her apartment cause she was broke after spending all her money on shoes.
        It wasn’t like Friends- that show should piss you off for being unrealistic.

        • Tori says:

          Being unrealistic was the least of Friends’ problems. And I still hate SATC. So superficial.

  6. Trisha says:

    Eh, I told you a couple of years ago that the show wasn’t written for you. Just like that hilarious comedy “Twilight” wasn’t written for me.

    What women like (some women anyway) about the show is not that the characters are perfect, far from it. They are flawed and have their struggles, and you watch them play out. A LOT of it is unrealistic, but then again, a lot of it hits home. For me, the show came about just as my horror of a marriage came to an end, and I was single in San Francisco trying to navigate my way not just in the dating world but as a strong independent female alone in The City. My friends who watch the show did not say “Oh, I’m Carrie”. That would be stupid. But they might see traits in each one of them that they share. I was so surprised when Candace Bushnell came to town and I got to do her makeup for an on-air interview; she was much quieter and down to earth than I expected, especially since Carrie was supposed to be based on her. She was a size 2, tops though and had the most gorgeous shoes!

    On a different note, I watched the movie and loved it. I decided to make my boyfriend watch it so we could talk about it. I said “just give it 10 minutes”. He set the alarm clock on his cell and agonized through 10 minutes exactly. Despite being a fan of “Project Runway” he hated every second.

  7. kate says:

    at least you had balls to admit you watched it.

  8. PJ says:

    You so failed by not using a Porky’s reference for Kim Cattrall.

  9. skellys says:

    I do find the show and the movie empowering. I don’t relate with just one character, I relate to all of them. Run away Bobby.

    Sure the characters are extreme, but each is the embodiment of some stigma that society has placed on women. The way that these women embrace your social disapproval and support one another through differences is purely liberating. The show screams

    -it is alright (damn good) to love sex, to be kinky even
    -you can be driven in your career. you can be a hot mom, date a bartender, leave the man that cheats on you, and take him back if you love him
    -fairytales and dreams do happen, and if they don’t, we can sure as hell want them to
    -every woman should own that perfect pair of Manolo’s. it may cost you $, but you will feel like $$$$ (and boost the economy)

    So Bobby, you are wrong. Without these women flaunting that sex, a career, dreams, and self maintenance are ok – you would be faced with a woman that you would want nothing to do with….actually, you two might be a perfect fit. And that void Samantha is trying to fill – it’s called a vagina.

    • Jeremy says:

      Are you really saying that without this shitty show women everywhere would be sexless, lazy, uncared for, and pathetic. I think women had much more going for them before and since this crap aired.
      As a side note, if there are women out there that need some contrived show, poorly written by a man, to feel good about themself, they have way more problems than a humor blog slagging the poor stereotypes that these characters portray.

    • Or a heinous gash…. depends on how you look at it.

    The idea of you labeling Samantha the slutty chick who’d sleep with everybody in the bar and not adding “that I’d totally hit every time I couldn’t find someone else” fills a void in me. The “I laugh at the irony” void.

  11. Uncle John says:

    Being a man of the new millenium and with a new administration in the obama house, your viewing of the movie is just showing your new sensitive side…

  12. Meghan says:

    I’ve gone in and out of watching the show…but mostly for the men. Any male on that show over the years was 10 times as interesting than those 4.

    Unfortunately I couldn’t watch Roger Sterling on Mad Men without remembering he once played a guy that wanted to piss all over Carrie Bradshaw. Most guys wouldn’t want to piss on her if she was on fire.

  13. Jessica says:

    I said it on Twitter and I’ll say it again. I cannot believe you wrote 800 words on Sex and the City PLUS the x-number of words you wrote the LAST time you wrote about SatC and lived to talk about it!

    I suggest you turn on any sport you can find and man yourself up before YOU start reading Cosmo! (Oh, wait, you already do…)

  14. Mandy says:

    Okay. I have to weigh in on this one.
    It’s a TV show, so everybody just calm the fuck down.
    SATC was the first show that showed a side of women that most men never see, and also the first show that explored adult relationships in the modern age honestly.
    People don’t marry with the frequency that they used to, especially not in bigger cities like NY and LA. The entire dynamic of the dating scene has completely changed in the past 15 years, and this was the first show to take us inside it. There is more casual sex, more experimentation, more open bisexuality, etc.
    As far as the breakdown of the actual characters:

    Samantha- I’m tired of hearing her labeled a slut- it’s purely because she’s a woman. If she was a man, you’d wouldn’t label her the same way. It’s pretty chauvinistic to state she’s fucking to fill a void- do you make the same observation regarding your male friends?

    Miranda- Yes, she was cranky and miserable…and also a partner in a law firm who got knocked up by her ex boyfriend and dealt with being a single mom until she married him. Yes, she made mistakes.

    Charlotte- She could make decisions on her own. In fact, if you watched the show, you’d see she was always making decisions on her own- crazy, nutty ones that got her into trouble.

    Carrie- Carrie Bradshaw would NEVER read Cosmo. You’re such a boy.
    Carrie was Vogue…and yes, she was materialistic. Yes, she made a lot of crappy choices. She belonged with Big- because he was a total asshole to her and she was a crazy bitch to him.

    Again, it’s ridiculous to even break them down this way- they are characters on a TV show. It’s not like I have to run over to another blog to defend Charlie Sheen’s character on Two and a Half Men. Why does this cause so much debate?

    I do agree with you on women trying to embody the characters- I hate that. I also hate that women are wrapped up in Twlight. LAME.

  15. Mandy says:

    Boy, did I just get carried away on your blog…but this is literally the fourth time I’ve been in this debate this week and I’m hoping this goes out into the void and settles it so I never, ever, ever have to hear it again :)

  16. Kobie says:

    I think you might be gay.

  17. Kristina says:

    Women consider “Sex and the City” to be powerful? Apparently I have brains in my ovaries because that show was as shallow as Paris Hilton’s wide set vagina.

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