It is Sunday afternoon and I am supposed to be enjoying the second to last weekend of the NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament but the games are blowouts and not very entertaining. Instead of suffering through the entirety of these games I decided to voluntarily watch… The Sex in the City movie… yes gentlemen you may take my testicles now.
I watched the show probably about half a dozen times in my lifetime and have poked fun of it once or twice in this blog in a lighthearted manner but have never really dove into an analysis of the show. There always has been something that bugged me about the show and I could never put my finger on it. Maybe because some of it transferred into my life like dating the divorced single mother with no job that thought she was Carrie Bradshaw…
Her: I want shoes!
Me: Perhaps you should buy a fucking vacuum cleaner.
While comical it wasn’t that. Perhaps it was hearing women endlessly talk about how great the show was and how empowering it was for women when a man wrote the show and the movie. (I know it was based off Candice Bushnell’s book but still.) Apparently women can’t really give insight about being a woman, it needs to be written by a man… What kind of message does that send? Eh, that isn’t it.
When I was watching the movie it finally hit me. Each of these four characters embodies something I don’t want in a woman. While I will say you could take the best traits of each person to make a spectacular female, as long as they didn’t look like Sarah Jessica Parker, the traits that they are most known for are horribly annoying.
Samantha- Which guy wouldn’t want the sexually explicit Samantha? Okay not the current 50-year-old version but like a younger, thinner, and less Botox filled version. Honestly I wouldn’t. Sure I like a girl that can fly a freak flag in bed but Samantha is the slutty girl at the bar that sleeps with every guy she can as a way to fill something that is missing in her life. While she is successful in her career she still needs some sort of acceptance. She is a broken human being.
Annoying trait- Sex is her major form of acceptance; cock fills a void… what void that is I have no idea.
Miranda- I always thought that out of all the people on the show that Miranda was the most respectable and realistic. She was professional, driven, and wasn’t as a shallow as the other characters in the show. During the movie though I realized she mirrored someone a friend was in a relationship with. She was successful, intelligent, driven, selfish, know it all, and a total shrew that would ultimately make your life miserable. There is nothing wrong with being a strong independent woman but pissing all over the lives of others to maintain your position is not a respectable quality.
Annoying trait- She can make everyone’s life around her miserable and wouldn’t give a shit.
Charlotte- Off the bat Charlotte comes off having a lot of endearing traits. She would be a loyal wife and a good mom. Of course if she had to make a decision that required thought or veered off of the plan that she laid out for her the world would come to an end. She is the type of women that doesn’t form her own opinion, which is annoying. She is the antithesis of Miranda but not exactly in a positive way. I like to actually be around people that can think for themselves and not someone that will adapt to every belief and thought that I have.
Annoying trait- Has no ability to formulate her own ideas and opinions.
Carrie- This is the easiest person for me to pick apart. She is everything that is wrong in society. Cosmopolitan is her bible and that is not something to be proud of. Her crass commercialism and ultimate shallowness is her downfall in her quest for love. In the end she overcomes it but obviously it is revealed that it is a major character flaw. The funny thing is this major flaw is what she is celebrated for which makes the movie confusing. 90% of the movie is filled with mentions of labels, products, shoes, but then she realizes that her shallowness and selfishness drove her “Mr. Big” away. Yet she is reunited with him when she goes to retrieve a pair of shoes from an apartment they were going to share. What is the lesson there?
Annoying trait- She is the girl that reads Cosmo and believes in the content.
I can’t believe I just wrote 800 words on Sex in the City. In the end I guess the lesson is that when I meet a women and she says that it is one of her favorite shows because she can relate to the characters I need to run… far away.
Am I wrong or right in my assessment?