Comments on: The Search Engine Shrink

By: Cinchy

Cinchy — Tue, 31 Mar 2009 03:29:50 +0000

I love everything you write!!!!!!!!!

By: Duane

Duane — Fri, 27 Mar 2009 13:16:17 +0000

There was another version of the Freud program called “Eliza”. I’d program in inappropriate answers based on the keywords to see the reactions of my fellow computer lab kids.
The first computer I used was a Commodore Pet.

By: slackmistress

slackmistress — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 20:57:00 +0000

That’s because Google is too intimidated to ask me out. At least that what my mom tells me.

By: slackmistress

slackmistress — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 20:56:01 +0000

I used to have a magic 8 ball watch that I would ask questions and tried to abide by everything it answered for a day. I ended up with a lot of junk food and a lack of hygiene.

By: slackmistress

slackmistress — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 20:54:05 +0000

There is an animated series here about a boy and his 2-ton computer going on adventures.

By: slackmistress

slackmistress — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 20:53:16 +0000

I was part of the nerd squad who go to get to school at 7am to learn Pascal!

By: Armand Assante's Left Ventricle

Armand Assante's Left Ventricle — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 19:59:55 +0000

I’m REALLY surprised Google’s answer to “Should I have sex on the first date” was not, “Yes. Would you like to go on one?”

By: ChiaLynn

ChiaLynn — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 18:51:38 +0000

I had a Commodore, rather than an Apple, so I had to play Oregon Trail at school, but I had Rabbit Chaser (a rather odd Pac-Man knock off in which you played a bunny whose goal was to fill a maze with little yellow dots – I suppose making them black would have been too gross, while avoiding cars. When I upgraded from the Vic 20 to the Commodore 64, I discovered that there was a more advanced version of the game, on the same cassette tape (!), which included a scary race car that would zip across the screen at random intervals, and an ambulance that would come retrieve your poor, bleeding carcass after you’d been squished). Now, however, I have Oregon Trail on my phone – except I can’t name my team members for my best friends and boys I have crushes on. (And it’s not because I have no friends or my husband would be jealous – it’s because the game generates the names of the party members, and the leader is always a man. So boo to that. It’s still kinda fun, though.)

I think the Search Engine Shrink could also make use of the suggested searches drop down – kind of a Web 2.0 method of association. For instance, if I type, “Should I” in the Google search box, the top suggestions include “Should I refinance,” “should I stay or should I go,” “should I get married,” “should I go to law school,” and “should I shave my pubic hair.” So obviously you should refinance, get married, leave him, go to lawschool and shave your pubic hair. (Note: Nothing in the previous paragraph is to be taken as either psychiatric or legal advice. Your fucked-up life is your own problem.)

By: E

Thu, 26 Mar 2009 17:54:40 +0000

Ask Freud must be like the “super computer” that was at a technology museum in Portland when I was a kid (This was oh, 25 years ago or so.) You stepped in and sat down like a photo booth and you could ask it questions by typing, and its response would appear on the screen. “Reads your mind!” “Have a real conversation with a machine!” “In 10 years, computers may be fully sentient!”

Of course, the exhibit was geared towards kids 12 and under, and I didn’t realize it was essentially a comment generator based on keywords. My 7-year old self thought that it was the answer to all of my problems, and that this genius supercomputer and I would go on grand adventures together and it would tell me everything about everyone.

By: Tits McGee

Tits McGee — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 17:40:17 +0000

Those search engines take you to tons of blogs now, whereas five years ago, you might have been able to locate a legit article on the subject. Heh. Though I do love some of the answers you find on yahoo.

We had an Apple IIc and I was just telling my kid about Lemonade and Print Shop the other day and how our elementary school had two Commodores for the entire school.