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The One Friend That Takes Things Too Far

By: Bobby Finstock on 03/25/09 @ 5:47 am

(From the notebook: I have been crafting some different bits for stand up and other things. This was a bit that just went too long for stand up  with very little payoff but thought there were some funny things in here worth sharing. And then a random joke at the end that I will probably never use. Instead of subjecting a live audience to it you guys get stuck with it.)

We all have that one friend that takes things inexcusably too far. You know when you are little and have a water fight it starts with some squirt guns, water balloons, and then maybe it graduates to a hose. But then that one friend elevates it to a new level by pissing in a water balloon.

As soon as he throws it and it breaks everyone gives him that what the fuck look? The “what the fuck look” comes around for a couple of reasons:

First because he threw the balloon ruining everyone’s time and the second is that you don’t know how he filled a water balloon with piss.

Did he put it on his dick? Was there a funnel involved?

So everyone is giving them the “what the fuck look” and they are hopping around with a laugh that sounds like a hyena on meth. These friends always ruin everything.

We have a friend like this named Kyle. Nobody ever wants to invite Kyle to anything because we all think he is going to ruin it.

For a while my friends and I were exchanging disgusting things we found on the internet. A hot chick with armpit hair…got to send it to my friends. A girl hiking a nerf football out of her vagina… got to send to my friends.

It became a game a fun little game were all playing until Kyle got involved. Kyle didn’t just wade into the game his first launch was two girls one cup. Of course we were all grossed out. At that point I decided to bow out of this little game.My one friend Mark was bound and determined to not let Kyle ruin this and destroy this fun thing for all of us. I know the next video had something to do with a horse that I am pretty sure is illegal to watch in most states.


So Kyle fired back with a video. A video so heinous that my friend Mark called me at 2 in the morning saying that he was having a nightmare over what Kyle sent. All he said about the video as that it was Japanese and it was entitled, I bet you can’t watch all four minutes.

Needless to say Mark did and he will forever wish he hadn’t.

Anything that makes Two Girls One Cup look like a Disney movie is something that I don’t want to see.


Do you think Mormons are happy that the Scientologists are around because now they have the second craziest religion in America?
They believe that were dumped in Volcanoes!
Dude your magic underwear is showing.

About the author

Bobby Finstock

Finstock is founder of Pointlessbanter.net. He is known for his encyclopedia like knowledge on the life and times of Scott Baio. In the future he hopes to write again under his own name in order to impress the ladies and build his celebrity to the levels of other failed internet writers.

11 Responses to “The One Friend That Takes Things Too Far”

  1. Robot Monkey says:

    Not to turn this into a “My Two Girls, One Cup Experience” post but my first exposure to this video was at a friend’s birthday party at a fondue restaurant called “The Melting Pot”. One of the guys had it on his cell phone (as if that wasn’t already disturbing) and I unknowingly began watching it. Unfortunately, you can never unsee something.

  2. kate says:

    I’ve seen the Japanese video and I lasted 3 seconds. And I have a friend like that. Some how he manages to show up where ever we are and he is cool for about an hour then he starts hitting on big chicks, starting fights, and streaking.

  3. Tits McGee says:

    I am that girl.

  4. Stephanie says:

    I can vouch for and second both Matt and Tits being “those” people, LOL ;)

    I haven’t seen the Japanese video and I’m almost positive I don’t want to. 2 girls, 1 cup was enough for me *dry heave*

    I have a friend that is kinda like that. He’s the “everything you like sucks and everything I like is made of awesome so you’re stupid” guy. Yeah. He’s my favorite. It could be a chick with giant bazongas riding a unicorn throwing out thousand dollar bills to everyone present and he STILL would say it sucked. Everyone in our group of friends start to avoid him eventually but he resurfaces every 2 months or so for whatever reason.

    • Rick says:

      Where might I see a chick with giant bazongas riding a unicorn throwing out thousand dollar bills?

      There’s a cover charge, isn’t there?

  5. PJ says:

    There’s also the guy who makes you cross the line. Then, right when you’re in the middle of lighting a bag of shit on fire, and thinking to yourself, “what the fuck am I doing?” he skates away without any blame. I guess he’d make a perfect wingman for the other guy.

  6. Chachi says:

    I believe it was you that introduced me to both these videos Finstock. Happy late bday fucker!

  7. Hoeanna says:

    I was entranced by this whole 2 girl 1 cup thing. I had no idea what it was. Judging by the pic you had up on your post I thought one was gona fall off the teacup ride or something funny! But alas…no. I googled it to see it for myself and what all the hype was about. Thanks! Might I also add thanks for that visual being burned into my brain for the rest of my life! I think I just threw up in my mouth a lil just typing about it!

  8. Tori says:

    Hey I just googled “Bet you can’t watch all 4 minutes” and this thing came up with related topics and Bobby Finstock was listed. That’s sexy.

    But seriously, where can I find that video?

  9. I tried to watch something that I think was exactly what you describe, and it was guys slicing their dicks in half and ripping open their ballsacks. I lasted all of about 30 seconds, and I was already taking a pretty nasty, stinky, disgusting-smelling shit while I was watching it, so i really didn’t think I was in a state of mind where I could be grossed out too much.

    Plus, my subsequent erection was extremely painful and inappropriate.

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