Close to two years ago I asked your opinion on Justin Timberlake and if I should have some level of appreciation for him. Today I ask you again to help me come to a decision on Katy Perry.
In a reversal of how I usually do things I am going to lay out the negative arguments about Perry and follow them with the positive.
1) Her music is awful- Every single time I hear “I Kissed a Girl” I begin to swallow my tongue and have to be talked out of going into a full on convulsion. Raised by two Christian pastors it is like she is trying to use shocking and provocative lyrics to separate herself from her past but they aren’t really that shocking or well written. (Kind of like this blog.)
2) She seems really annoying- As part of her trying to be all rebellious she does these “whacky” things. But they are whacky on the level of a junior high school kid so they aren’t really all that funny or original. I guess she is acting the age of her target audience. You can be whacky and still be entertaining… see Tracy Morgan.
3) I don’t know if she has a brain- When I look through gossip websites doing research for the Pop Crunch script there is always one picture of her in every photo shoot where she has this blank expression. Sure this happens to everyone but with her it is every single photo shoot. That makes me question if there is actually anyone up there.
What she has going for her
1) She has great breasts- Her breasts are fantastic. So she has that going for her, which is nice. And really when you are young what more do you need than fantastic breasts?
2) She jumps in cakes- While I find most of her antics annoying the idea of jumping into a cake seems fun. Well that is until you are removing hardened frosting from your body hair.
3) She feuds with people- Besides her breasts this is probably her only saving grace. When asked to describe herself she said, “Aha, I’m like a fatter version of Amy Winehouse and a skinner version of Lily Allen!” Of course this was probably constructed by her management team so she could remain relevant and in the press.
Basically this boils down to fantastic breasts versus a massive lack of talent powered by an empty skull.
So does Pointless Banter give any respect to Katy Perry or not? You decide…