I didn’t realize until the other day when I actually HAD to go to the post office how horribly depressing of an event it had become. Growing up and through most of my life the post office had always been a hub of activity for the town. You would run into a neighbor or someone you knew and the people working there would know you overall it was a very social exercise. Now due to the rise of other shipping companies, the internet, and online banking there is very little reason to go to the post office. Each time I set foot into my local one I am the only person in there besides the other workers. (I think I have been three times in the last year.)
It has become so depressing that I actually felt bad for postal workers. Not only do these people have the most repetitive jobs on the face of the earth, so much so that it makes them snap and go on shooting sprees but now they are faced with complete and utter emptiness. So I have thought of a few ideas to make the post office fun again.
1) Laced stamps- Get rid of the adhesive stamps and go back to the old ones that you had to lick. Now instead of that glue that tastes like my ass lace it with something…. LSD… whatever. At least going to the post office will now be an “experience”.
2) Be allowed to actually ship people- How awesome would it be if you could package up a friend and send them to a random city? Imagine the fun of getting wrapped in a box and the next time you open it you could be anywhere in the world! What a fun little game to play with you and your friends.
“Shit… Indiana again?”
3) Raffles for unclaimed or lost mail- I read somewhere that mind boggling amounts of mail go each year unclaimed or unable to be mailed. What better way to put that mail to use than to raffle it off when you go to the post office? Imagine the fun you would have hoping to get a misaddressed birthday card full of cash or a package with something fun in it? Of course you could always lose out and get stuck with a letter to Santa or a Publisher’s Clearing House packet.
“What did you get?’
“Dammit… a BMG CD of the month, the Jonas Brothers. You?”
“Naked pictures of a chick that a girl is sending to her boyfriend in the Army!”
4) Spin the wheel and make a deal- Well pretty much know what we are going to pay for postage before we go. Why not make it interesting and create a wheel that we spin that will determine the postage by chance? Throw in some prizes like Victoria Secret catalogs and other random things on the wheel and now you take the routine and make it utterly sublime. I’d find a reason to mail something everyday if I knew there was a game of chance mixed with prizes. Who wouldn’t?
What would you do to make the post office more fun?