Comments on: How NOT to ask a question

By: Robot Monkey

Robot Monkey — Thu, 12 Mar 2009 16:03:54 +0000

In my meaner high school days, I thought it might be funny to give my mom a mild heart attack. So we were riding in the car one sunny afternoon and in the manner of one of those afterschool special moments (or the feminine wash commercial where the daughter asks her mom if she ever has that “not so fresh feeling?”), I ask my mom very seriously how she would feel about being a grandmother right now. I hurriedly add that this is hypothetical as I would never have sex, of course my tone saying the exact opposite. She starts getting worried and I tell my very conservative, Christian mother that I’m just kidding I always wear a condom with the different girls I bang. For some crazy reason, she didn’t find this as humorous as I did.

By: Robot Monkey

Robot Monkey — Thu, 12 Mar 2009 15:50:22 +0000

Wouldn’t “smells fishy” be more apropos here? Just saying…

By: Danielle

Danielle — Wed, 11 Mar 2009 16:10:55 +0000

Hmm. Well yesterday I drove past a church with a big billboard outside it that said “Looking for a free trip to heaven? Details inside.”

By: Meghan

Meghan — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 22:45:40 +0000

I believe I asked for a ride home.

By: Hoeanna

Hoeanna — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 21:01:02 +0000

Yesterday my daughter was doing her homeowrk in the back seat of my car and asking my her questions out loud as I drove. She was on spelling and read me a sentence to fill in the blank. I swear on my last pack of ciggs this was the question from my 8 year old…”That cowboy has the biggest ______ I have ever seen!”

After the laughter subsied I replied…HAT!

By: Dee

Dee — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 20:17:46 +0000

It wasn’t one that I been asked. But to ask someone else. But it was to prove a point that people knew that this word meant. Okay here is the story I will try sum it as best as I can. Well I have pet name on my cell phone. Like for instance, my best friend name is Queen LaQueefa. Well I was showing my boss a text I got from her and she became curious of the name I had for her. She thought it was, well strange. I said “I call her that because everytime she hears that word, Queef, she laughs because she finds it a funny word for what it means.” Well I also told her I won’t tell her what it means. But she insisted so I did. She about fell out of her chair. She said she never heard it called that. I decided to say oh well everyone knows that its called that. My co-worker went by and I asked her if she knew what it was and she to my surprise, didn’t. But there was a male co-worker in the same room. SO I made a comment I was going to ask him. My boss got so embarrassed and say, “no Dee don’t ask him!” So I went and said, “Do you know what a queef is?” and he started laughing and shook his head yes, and of course my co-worker was like, What is it.. what is it.. so instead of just saying it, he made the sounds …lol but my boss couldn’t believe I asked hims that. But I have said other things to my poor co-worker also but i will leave that for another day.

By: Molly

Molly — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 18:55:57 +0000

Last summer while at an IHop, my boyfriend (upon trying to impress the awesomeness of the concert we had just been to) point blank asked the waiter “Do you ever want to die?”

He looked slightly scared for his life until he heard the next sentence which was “If you don’t, this music could keep for alive forever” or something to that effect.

p.s. The concert was Gogol Bordello.

By: Bobby Finstock

Bobby Finstock — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 18:48:05 +0000

Did you ask for a blood test?

By: Bobby Finstock

Bobby Finstock — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 18:47:23 +0000

Yes he is.

By: Bobby Finstock

Bobby Finstock — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 18:46:47 +0000

Nothing good ever comes from prefacing a question with that.