A: Drinking *and* smoking pot? This sounds like a serious problem … until you consider his response.

Trust is an important part of every relationship. When a teenage boy says nothing will happen to him, it’s because nothing ever will. You are one of those lucky few young women in the world dating a genuine superhero or possibly even a Highlander. (Does he get nervous in the Knife Shop at your local mall?)

While it is touching that you show such concern for his safety, you can really show your love for him by showing you trust him. This can be done in any number of ways, including bringing him a sixer of his favorite beer and the keys to your 1997 Plymouth Neon, letting him stick the head in (just this one time), or even building him a personalized Build-A-Bear that sounds like Snoop Dogg when you squeeze his paw.

Good luck in your relationship, and try not to worry too much about your super man. The last thing you want is to end up like Margot Kidder.

Oh no wait, that’s what I did. I take it back. The answer is dump his sorry ass.

Now,
A. You should be taking an enthusiastic interest in your boyfriend’s extra curricular affairs, or else he’ll dump you and tell everyone you’re prude. Look at good female role models like Paula Abdul on American Idol, she’s always hammered. Start drinking in class and smoking pot in the school bathrooms. Play Edward 40-hands at lunchtime. Don’t show him you love him by lecturing him on the dangers of pot and booze, just give in to the peer pressure. You probably need the friends if you’re doing things like writing to Teen Magazine.