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Some Actual Good News and the Return of Hup and Steph

By: Bobby Finstock on 02/27/09 @ 7:51 am

I can no longer watch the news anymore because each time I do I have to contemplate sticking my head in the oven, fortunately my large melon doesn’t fit in a toaster oven. Watching the first twenty minutes of it has gotten to be such a depressing experience that it ruins my day.  At this point everything is doom and gloom, which is why I decided to take the time and write only positive new updates today from my personal life.

News Item 1- I ended a massive shit and finished the article I was reading in Rolling Stone at the same time. Sometimes the little things in life are enough to keep you going. Usually I have the awkward thing where I am not done with the article so I have to choose to sit there or come back later. (Once the magazine is in the bathroom it doesn’t come out.) This has led to my leg falling asleep and me crashing into the wall.

News Item 2- I made out with a girl without having to pay for it or slipping her any type of drugs. (And as far as I know she wasn’t a transvestite.)

News Item 3- There is no soap scum in my bathtub. Apparently if you use dryer sheets to clean your tub if there is any soap scum build up it comes right off. You could easily eat off of my tub if you ignore the body hair build up towards the drain.

News Item 4- Hup and Steph are getting married. Long time readers might remember the event where I was virtually stalked by Hup when he added me to every social networking profile on the face of the earth. I ended up having an obsession with Hup’s hot girlfriend Steph. (Why am I telling you all this you can just read the blog.)

I ended up meeting Hup at a conference in Las Vegas and the guy is totally legit. Really nice, knows his shit professionally, funny as hell, and he was wearing a tux t-shirt. In other words he was my kind of dude. (Like to have a beer with not to have an elicit affair and watch Broadway musicals together… Not that there is anything wrong with that.) Recently they have gotten engaged and I just wanted to congratulate them. Here are some of their engagement photos:



News Item 5- The economy is in a death spiral where it hasn’t hit rock bottom, the auto industry is done, baseball is crooked, there are no jobs, we are going to have such a massive debt that we will never repay it, we are all going to die from eating/drinking everything, and Limp Bizkit has reunited. Nooooooooooo. I don’t know how this slipped in there.

Share some good news in your life or talk about how hot Steph is…

About the author

Bobby Finstock

Finstock is founder of Pointlessbanter.net. He is known for his encyclopedia like knowledge on the life and times of Scott Baio. In the future he hopes to write again under his own name in order to impress the ladies and build his celebrity to the levels of other failed internet writers.

29 Responses to “Some Actual Good News and the Return of Hup and Steph”

  1. Dryer sheets work in cleaning bathtubs? At first I just thought that Snuggle fabric softener bear was cotton stuffed pedophilia, who knew he had more than one purpose?

    That’s bullshit, right? Oh, and clean the drain beard sir.

    • It works on removing soap scum. I guess the combination of the chemicals and the way dryer sheets are made make the soap come of easily. It was simply amazing.

  2. Mark says:

    Great another…Chocolate Starfish and Hot-Dog Flavored Water album…Fuck.

  3. Tori says:

    I cried the day you told me Limp Bizkit reunited. It was like we made all this progress AWAY from that crap, and for what? Just for them to turn around and start it all over again with the shitty music and Fred Durst trying to mean mug everyone. God.

    • Personally I think it is the equivalent step back of restoring segregation. (Although there are probably a few people that would disagree.)

      • Tori says:

        In this case, I think we should restore segregation. Only in this case, just segregate Limp Bizkit. And can we maybe throw in the Jonas Brothers? And Soulja Boy. And FloRida. And…ok this list could get long. But we could have “Crappy Artist” drinking fountains and shit.

  4. Tori says:

    Oh, and I definitely just got sucked into the Hup & Steph website. Hooray another time waster!

  5. Vince says:

    You just ruined my day with that Limp Bizkit news. Even my new G1 phone can’t make up for it.

    • Are you drooling on it?

      • Vince says:

        I salivated a little when i got it yesterday, but the drool started when I downladed my first few apps. i’m going to waste so much time playing pac man on this thing.

        • gail says:

          i recomend snap photo, it fixes the original phone app.(if you havent noticed its slow as hell and all the pictures turn out blurry). also ineem and last fm are good for music, im still hoping for i <3 radio to come out. i like the night clock, but make sure your phone is plugged in or it will die.

          shop savy and shazam are also neato.

  6. Jaime says:

    The good news in my life is that I haven’t cried in three days!!! GO ME!!!

  7. Trisha says:

    It’s either the fiber I just ate or the thought of Fred Durst but now I too, have to go…

  8. Hup says:

    Just when I thought you had forgotten about us…

    Your photoshop skills are second to none and your wit is what legends are made of (Dark Room Error. HA!). For some sick reason I’m thinking that I need to invite you to our wedding just to see what you would do.

    That might be a bad idea though…

    • I will probably just weep in the corner… actually there is video of me getting dry humped by a bridesmaid in a DJ booth from my friend’s wedding…. I hope that never surfaces.

  9. Meghan says:

    A Good News Friday?!? Awesome.

    Congrats to Hup and Steph.

    Personally…I am officially one week into my fascination with Grand Theft Auto IV. Watching a grown man play it…not playing it myself. I’m quite the excited coach.

    Who knew “Run that bitch over…blow up the cop car…increase your wanted level-I’m bored” would be a fun Saturday night (making out optional).

    • I have put GTA IV on the shelf while I kill Germans in a WWII game. I am stuck in GTAIV about 60% through it and annoyed with all the missions.

      • Meghan says:

        Yeah…I just want him to blow shit up. He’s barely into the game…and maybe a little concerned I encourage him playing it as much as I do!

  10. Hoeanna says:

    I am a firm believer that GTA San Andreas is the greatest stress reliever ever made! Nothing gets work, and the kids and life off my mind like blowing shit up, and beating up hos and running amuck the way we all secretly wish we could in real life!

  11. C says:

    Nice job ending on a depressing note.

    You know there’s this newspaper type thing here in England that does only positive news? Not as informative, but it’s an interesting idea.

  12. C says:

    Oh, and can you PLEASE post that video of you and a bridesmaid in a dj booth? You know your readers’ entertainment is worth the humiliation :D

  13. mistaken/debbie says:

    Speakin of dryer sheets… yrs. ago I was taught to use them for heavily used ashtrays.

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