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Nip Tuck Plot Line or Something I Pulled Out of My Ass

By: Bobby Finstock on 02/19/09 @ 7:21 am

I have a confession to make. I TIVO the television show “Nip/Tuck”. It isn’t because I think it is a good show because frankly I think it is one of the worst shows on television. There has never been a show that has so many plot or logic holes. Even “24” seems completely logical when compared to Nip/Tuck.


The thing about Nip/Tuck though is that each season, hell even each episode, has something that is so ridiculous that it makes me watch it just so I can sit there and groan. (I don’t know if that is a redeeming quality or not). I swear the writers use Mad Libs to create the script because no logical human being would write this shit. Honestly if you sit there and combine three ridiculous things you can create a script.

A woman has a sexual fetish for midgets and decides to have her legs shrunk while the doctors fight a drug addiction while sharing a tranny hooker.

There I just wrote a script. (BTW Nip/Tuck if I see that plotline on the air I am suing the shit out of you.)

I have decided to turn this into a little game. Below are ten plot lines, five are from the show and five I totally pulled out of my ass. Try and guess which are which:

1) A man sucks his own penis so much he can’t function or leave the house. He decides to have his penis reduced so he can no longer reach.

2) An Asian man decides that he is sick of hearing the term “rice dick” when women refer to his penis and decides to actually have a grain of rice replace his dick to get the last laugh.

3) A psycho talent agent stuffs rival agent like a build-a-bear because she has an obsession with her client.

4) A guy sleeps with a girl that may have been his mother. The women in question gave him up for adoption, which he doesn’t know but she does except she doesn’t know he is her son.

5) A man gets surgery to remove a golf ball like mole on his back. Little did he realize that it was an actual golf ball that his wife implanted in him while he was drunk because of her hatred for the amount of time he spends golfing.

6) A woman gets plastic surgery to look like a cat.

7) A story arch about high-end hookers that steal kidneys

8 ) A man with no sex organs was a serial killer whose accomplice was his sister who he may or may not have also been his lover.

9) A child pornography ring is broken up because the doctors had operated on one of the assailants and recognized their birthmark.

10) A woman wants breast implants but instead of the normal implants used she wants to have the remains of her husband put into bags and then into her breasts.

There you have it. Take a shot on guessing what is an actual storyline from Nip/Tuck and what story I pulled out of my ass. No prizes or anything, just figured it would be fun.

What do you think is the most ridiculous show you have ever watched?

About the author

Bobby Finstock

Finstock is founder of Pointlessbanter.net. He is known for his encyclopedia like knowledge on the life and times of Scott Baio. In the future he hopes to write again under his own name in order to impress the ladies and build his celebrity to the levels of other failed internet writers.

30 Responses to “Nip Tuck Plot Line or Something I Pulled Out of My Ass”

  1. Chris says:

    I’m gonna have to guess 4,7,8,9,10 are from the show and 1,2,3,5,6 you pulled out of you ass.

    rice dick.

  2. Robot Monkey says:

    Most ridiculous shows? I’ll leave out things like “American Idol” because it’s too obvious. Otherwise, “Full House” (Three men living together, raising 3 kids or so in San Fransisco and no gay jokes? Calling “bullshit” there), “Beverly Hills 90210″ (I’m supposed to believe these people in their late twenties and early thirties are in high school?), “Small Wonder” (Grown man has the technology to create a subservient, life-like robot and he makes a 10 year-old girl? Either the writers weren’t thinking or someone has some very illegal issues), just of the top of my head.

    • I have always said “My Two Dads” is the most unrealistic ever. You know those guys would be rushing to get a DNA test within five minutes of the first episode.

      • Robot Monkey says:

        Holy crap, can’t believe I forgot about that one! Totally agree on the paternity test, especially if Paul Reiser is involved.
        You know, most 80’s sitcoms remind me of the story arc on “Seinfeld” when he and George create the TV show and make the first episode about the guy that hit Jerry’s car becoming his butler. And Jerry is just incredulous, asking “Why would the judge make him my butler?” That’s kinda how I feel.

  3. Isha says:

    The story about a lady trying to look like a cat is not a far fetched one. Check out this lady, Jocelyn Wildenstein.


    Guess the saying from the Aristocats is true,
    “Everybody wants to be a cat.”

  4. Marjorie says:

    3,4,6,8,10 are the real ones, the rest are fake but probably will be used in future episodes.

  5. Max says:

    The first one actually aired a couple days ago, not sure which day cuz it was on my DVR and I don’t pay attention to the dates (I watch for the same reasons, that show is rediculous but amusing). I think 3,4,6,10 for the other real ones

  6. AnneGwish says:

    Real plotlines: 3, 4, 7, 8, 10

    I’m with you, Nip/Tuck strated out over the top but fabulous, now it is a glorious train wreck

  7. Vince says:

    I put House in the same catagory as Nip/Tuck. Here are the plot lines for most House episodes.

    Patient faints or has a seizure, House gets the case and cuts off the persons leg because he thinks its leprosy, oops he’s wrong, well maybe its cancer, lets take out his liver, oops wrong again, maybe its auto immune or infection, lets pump him full of drugs, oops wrong again. And then at the end of the episode we find out that it was just diarrhea.

    I swear its shows like this and Nip/Tuck that are turning this country into the dumbest one in the world.

  8. Selena says:

    I’m not ashamed to say that Nip/Tuck is a show that I never miss! I guess I like watching all the misery inflicted on others. It’s totally unrealistic and all about the shock factor but it works for me. I was more offended by Stiffler’s mom trying to act black and doing that horrifying rap video than anything else they’ve ever done… it was definately beneath the show!
    (I’m also addicted to 24 and LOST)

  9. Meghan says:

    That show STARTED with Puerto Ricans injecting Christian’s junk with Botox…I knew what I was getting into.

    I think Im a whole season off…but I’ve come to terms with the fact it is like a Univision Soap in English.

  10. kate says:

    i’m going to say they are all from nip/tuck simply because i never watched the show

  11. Darcie says:

    I just got extremely excited about this game, and excited that I know which are real and which are fake. I LOVE Nip/Tuck. Nip/Tuck and Sober House are my two favorite shows.

  12. Hoeanna says:

    Who can resist sober house? Not I, sir!

  13. The most implausible shows on TV are the “Real Housewives Of..” shows because it’s inconceivable that another human being would marry any one of them.

    Of course, that’s my PB post for next week…

  14. Melissa says:

    Those all sound loony. I watch House for the snark and if it doesn’t start getting a little better I’ll stop watching. But I love Fringe, it isn’t supposed to make sense, but in an insane way, does.

    Never watched Nip/Tuck but if it is that bad a trainwreck I’m glad I didn’t even think to.

    • Max says:

      Same here, the first few seasons of House were really good, now I just watch it for the smart ass remarks cuz the back story is getting rediculous

  15. Scott says:

    Real: 1,6,7,9,10
    Outta your ass: 2,3,4,5,8

  16. Thomas says:

    I don’t know about the show but number six has actually happened in the real world.

  17. Lori says:

    Nip/Tuck used to rock my socks, I loved that show! And still do, kinda. It’s just that it’s too ridiculous, too far fetched. They are running out of ideas and it shows! =P

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