Speaking of Facebook…
While I am on the topic of Facebook…
Apparently, my son, The Kid has a girlfriend. Not a ‘hump in the back seat of a Dodge Stratus’ type girlfriend, you know what I mean. He’s ten, she’s 11.
(Yes, he likes the older ladies, so future cougars take heart…The Kid will be on the loose in about 15 years.) Anyway, The Kid and his girlfriend e-mail each other and IM…general stuff like that. We monitor the hell out of it, but understand that technology ain’t going anywhere, so what the hell…type away. Keeping it clean, of course.
Here’s my issue. Girlfriend has a Facebook page. She asked The Kid is he has one. Nope, he doesn’t. She asked him to make one and she’ll friend request him. The Kid comes home from school and asks if he can make his own page. Now mind you, The Kid isn’t stupid. He sees his mother and I screwing around every so often on Facebook or MySpace, so he knows what they are. So after some thought, we allow him to create one under strict rules. He does. Friend requests me, his mother and his girlfriend. No biggie right?
Uh, no. You see, we eventually came around and kiboshed it after a whole 4 hours, making him delete it. For a few reasons. See if I am wrong.
One is, a ten year old doesn’t need to delve into the online world of social networking. If you want to meet people and do fun things as a ten year old, go outside and play. The net is not a place for ten year olds to be screwing around on all the time. Occasionally? Sure. Religiously like some of you? No chance in hell. I don’t want to raise a fat fuck with permanent orange stains on his hands and dick from rubbing one out after demolishing bags of Cheetos.
Two, have any of you seen my pages? How about any of the writers on here? It isn’t exactly Mr. Rogers Neighborhood. It’s more like the neighborhood you’ll see in The Crow.
I mean, we’re all dirty birdies on here, using words and phrases like shit and fuck and ball sniffer and strawberry shortcake (not the kids version either). There is no need for a ten year old, or any kid for that matter, to be exposed to such foulness…learn it on your own when ready, is my motto.
Three. I don’t care what safeguards you put in place or how much monitoring goes on, there are people, nay, perverts on the web that will lie and deceive other people to fulfill their own personal agenda. And a ten year old, however wise to their own world they may be, are easy pickin’s for people who prey on their naivete. The fact that a set of parents allow an 11 year old girl to have access to this world relatively unchecked (she had over 200 “friends”) scares the living shit out of me. And yes, I am revealing a double standard here by saying that girls are more vulnerable, but let’s face it, I don’t know of too many 40 year old women out there trying to get their hands on some ten year old cock.
The opposite, however…
See my problem? Do we or don’t we?
My question to you is this…
At what age is it OK for a parent to relent and allow kids access to social networking sites like Facebook or MySpace? And for my own self knowledge, did we as parents of The Kid do the right thing or were we way off base?
Nope, you were totally right. And that scares me so much that that little girl has that many “friends” too. Her parents should be slapped.
I was stunned by that number. It didn’t happen overnight, but are these sites so prevalent amongst pre-teens now that everyone has one? And why?
I don’t know. My mom would have kicked my ass right outside. She wouldn’t even let us have SNES when we were kids because she didn’t want us sitting inside. I think we got cable when I was almost in college. It’s so sad how much things have changed in just a few years.
I think you guys did the right thing a 10 year old should not have a myspace or facebook page. I actually think that anyone under the age of 18 shouldn’t have one. These kids see each other all day at school and usually after school. What the hell do they need to talk to these people on the interweb if they just saw them an hour ago and will see them the next morning.
Granted I know that people move and want to keep in contact with their old friends but I don’t know anyone my age that is still friends with more than 2 people that they were friends with when they were 10.
Besides, nothing of any substance is said in these things anyway. Here is an excerpt of one of their emails:
lol i will tell you who i like if u tell me who u like n ashley i dont email her but she is a jerk aneway…lol
I’m not paraphrasing either. Kids…
You did the right thing. I personally think it’s more of an adult thing, and not necessary for kids of any age. Social interaction can be hindered greatly by the allowance of myspace and facebook. Kids don’t want to go outside and play anymore anyways. They all want to go online or watch TV all day, under the pretense of learning by animation or some crap. Really. Take away all the stuff they shouldn’t be doing online and they’d rather go outside and play anyway.
One can only hope.
Unfortunately, that won’t happen. God forbid the cable goes out. Whatever will we do?
I allowed my 13 year old to make a myspace page as long as he kept me as a friend so I could spy on him, of course. I deleted it when I realized that not only would I have access to his MySpace, but he would have access to mine…oppps. He doesnt need to know what dirty whore his mother is until he is at least 18. Having him have his own without being able to see it was not an option. I guess I could have made a kid friendly page just to use for that, but that was way too much work and I’d rather waste my time at work doing this!
You did the right thing. Now when he’s thirteen, fourteen? Tell him to hit up Tits McGee on MySpace.
I would probably get way over protective of my son if his 1st online gal pal had over 200 buddies! I’d be like ‘Who is this little 11 year old skank?’
So not fair, but I’d rather he wait a few years before I am cyber stalking minors.
A couple of my 14 year old daughter’s friends have friend requested me on Myspace…ummm…I don’t think so. I say fuck..A LOT…and I sometimes blog about people they might know…not to mention pics of me holding a beer in every other picture. So I told her to have them add me on Facebook..I keep that one PG.
My kids (12 & 14) have a Bebo…but I have their passwords…and I know everyone they have as friends on there.
Matt, i say let them get the account in facebook or myspace…
Once they earn their own salary and live in their own house!
Those sites should be R rated.
And i say this having over 1500 friends ( i play a lot of the games on facebook while i work…)
I have to agree with you, I think 10 is a little too young to have a facebook page. The fact the the girl has 200 friends is particularly scary to me. I would hope that this girl’s parents know what is up…
I agree 100%. I was one of those “tweens” in the early nineties when AOL first had all those chat rooms and whatnot. My naivete is probably what saved me because now i think back to what some of those people said to me and I would have shut that down so quick if i would have understood what was being said! Keep them children as long as you can!
My suggestion? Whenever they get around to dating… which, in the words of Jamie Foxx, is after they’re married. IMO, MySpace and such should come after they’re married and have kids.
(I got into it when I was 14, and look what I’ve become!)
I would definately say that 10 is way too young to have a profile on a social networking site. I can say though, that I have used the internet since I was 12 or 13 without any restrictions and I have turned out rather well. I don’t believe I had a Myspace or a Facebook account until I was in college though. I did use other sites such as yearbook and spark, but I can’t say that I was “addicted” to them like I am to Myspace and Facebook. I don’t think a child should have a profile on one those sites until they are at least in high school. There are too many bad things going on for anyone younger to be subjected to. My sister is a freshman in high school and sometimes I think she shouldn’t even have one, but it’s so common in our lives today that it’s basically how they communicate. None of her friends really use email anymore and they only IM when they’re not talking on Myspace or Facebook. I know it’s scary, but I guess all you can do is make sure you keep an eye on them.
Well maybe you should not be using foul language on Facebook….maybe you should clean up your act….Facebook is like being in Public or better yet sitting at the table with your friends and family, how do yo behave then ?
I’ve been wondering about this myself. A lot of my friends and family are letting their kids as young as 7 have a page. I have concerns about that on so many levels….mostly that so many peoples pages are NOT private and the kind of stuff adults post on their pages. I know I’ve cleaned up my own page and watch what I post now. I almost feel like I shouldn’t accept anyone under the age of 18, but haven’t even begun to have this debate with these kids parents who are adding me. Not to mention if every one of my friends are letting their kids on …then it won’t be long before my daughter is pestering me to do it.