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A Recap of the Career of Josh McDowell, Pedophile Director

By: Bobby Finstock on 01/29/09 @ 9:29 am

Whenever a celebrity, athlete, or politician dies we are always subjected to a lengthy retrospective of their career. However very rarely are we given a look at the career of some of the geniuses behind the scenes. The unsung heroes of Hollywood if you will. Today I want to make that injustice right with a look back at the career of Josh McDowell, the pedophile director.


McDowell had a long career, which many consider to be highlighted by his work on “Kids Say the Darndest Things” where McDowell enjoyed it when kids said totally inappropriate things. McDowell said of his work on the show, “There was nothing better than having a kid talk about where babies come from. It was orgasmic.”

He also worked on America’s Funniest Home videos. It is a little known fact that McDowell actually sent in the most “guy gets hit in the balls accidentally by kid” videos to the show. These were taken from his home movie collection and they were anything but accidents. “I had to do this to repress my feelings, it was either have the kids hit me in the balls by flinging a baseball bat or join the Catholic Church.”

It should also be noted that McDowell directed the movie “Powder” which explains a lot.

Personally though I would be remiss if I didn’t share what I think is the crowning achievement of McDowell’s career, a Chloraseptic commercial shot in the 90s.

Subversive. Dirty. And just plain wrong… That was the work of Josh McDowell, may he rest in peace or more probable may he burn in hell.

Josh McDowell, great director or greatest director?

About the author

Bobby Finstock

Finstock is founder of Pointlessbanter.net. He is known for his encyclopedia like knowledge on the life and times of Scott Baio. In the future he hopes to write again under his own name in order to impress the ladies and build his celebrity to the levels of other failed internet writers.

15 Responses to “A Recap of the Career of Josh McDowell, Pedophile Director”

  1. tralfaz says:

    Thank GOD for you! Who else would recognize the TRUE masterminds of our time???

  2. Faith says:

    Well now I will never be able to watch that perfectly upstanding commercial anymore.

    Sadly, I did almost spit my coffee out when it came on, does that mean I have a dirty mind?

  3. Beau says:

    I was still a kid when that commercial came out. I swear I burned my “extended” copy on tape the day I turned 18.

    *lookin around for his VHS box to see*

  4. Tits McGee says:

    Gary Glitter he wasnt…or was he? :D

  5. Tits McGee says:

    Those videos automatically playing on your site is slowing it down mmmbad. It’s annoying.

  6. MadMadMargo says:

    Wow, the things you can learn here. That commercial is now playing as a loop in my brain.

  7. Meghan says:

    Egads! I’m glad that little girl got the throat issue cleared up. Spitting is just plain rude.

  8. Tio says:

    Well, if it was shot in the 90s, she’s probably old enough now for it to be legal at least…

  9. Adam says:

    Late to the party but isn’t this all about the wrong person? Maybe I’m missing the point but Victor Salva directed ‘Powder’ and is a convicted child molester: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Victor_Salva

    Josh McDowell is a Biblical apologist. Oddly, I think they’re both alive.

    • Dude… this is satire… I knew that about Powder that is why I threw that in there.

      • Adam says:

        Satire? Are you sure? I’m new to your site but you must have a wildly different idea of satire than I do. Your post is ostensibly about a film/television director who has recently died. Neither of those things apply to the apologist McDowell (I’m certainly no fan of him nor his tactics) and, judging by the comments, everyone else is confused about what (you claim) you were trying to accomplish.

        The only thing that could be remotely construed as relating to McDowell was, “{…} or join the Catholic Church.” That flies in the face of the fact that McDowell is an Evangelical Protestant — traditionally no fan of Catholicism.

        I see only two choices:

        1) You were confused and won’t admit it
        2) You were being deliberately unfunny

        Now, I’m fine with ‘deliberately unfunny’ and I mourn the loss of torsopants.com but, c’mon, throw us a small bone. Perhaps, though, I’m all wet and this head cold pounding on my sinuses is doing something to my synapses. I’ll also say that I’m not trying to dump crap on your site and I thoroughly enjoyed what I’ve read so far. This post just threw me for a loop.

        • Um dude… you put waytoo much thought into this…. It was a post constructed around the commercial. I used a perverted point of view to get to the commercial. There wasn’t a director that recently died by that name at all or any other director that I know of. It was a fake retrospective with his crowning achievement being a kids commercial. I threw in the remark about Powder because I knew that little tidbit to be true. Why else would I reference a movie that is never on TV and hardly anyone knows about. The fact that he is has the same name as a religious figure is merely a coincidence.

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