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Ashlee Simpson you need to STFU. Your Sister, Jessica Simpson, is getting fat

By: Bobby Finstock on 01/28/09 @ 6:21 pm

This evening I got on the internet and on my homepage was an article about how appalled Ashlee Simpson was about the coverage of her sister’s weight gain. Simpson wrote in her blog, “I am completely disgusted by the headlines concerning my sister’s weight. A week after the inauguration and with such a feeling of hope in the air for our country, I find it completely embarrassing and belittling to all women to read about a woman’s weight or figure as a headline on Fox News.”


Simpson continued to write, “All women come in different shapes, sizes, and forms and just because you’re a celebrity, there shouldn’t be a different standard.”

Ok let me put the brakes on this.

First of all what does this have to do with the election, Obama, and a renewed attitude in this country? Jessica Simpson packing on some pounds is not equal to putting aside partisan squabbling to help get the country turned around. I didn’t know a nationwide feeling of hope applies to gossip rags. Perhaps I shouldn’t root for one team or another during the Super Bowl this year. I wouldn’t want to be divisive and pick sides.

Beyond the stupidity of that remark is her comment about celebrities being held to a different standard. And you know what, she is right to a point. Are there double standards when discussing the bodies of women in Hollywood? Absolutely there is. For the most part is it fair? Not at all but that is a different discussion for another day. This isn’t a photo spread or commentary about how Kathy Bates, Kate Blanchett, or Jennifer Hudson look, it is about someone that has leaned on their looks and took parts where they were dressed like this the entire time:


Guess what? If you want to lean on your looks and exploit them for monetary gain, jobs, or to get attention you sure has hell should get criticized when your appearance takes a little bit of a decline.

Simpson also followed up her statements with, “Is this something you would say to your wife, daughter, mother, grandmother, or even a friend? I seriously doubt it.” She is right, I wouldn’t criticize my mom for a weight gain but then again she hasn’t posed in magazines wearing this:


I can see where women would get upset at seeing pictures about a celebrity that has gone from an out of this world body to a normal or around average one and having to read comments about her being “fat”. Personally I sympathize with that argument and understand the larger societal ramifications that it has. But the last thing I am going to do is stand by and see someone that has constantly exploited her looks to move ahead in life become the poster girl for this debate. When she decided to bulk up so she could block for her boyfriend she deserves to be called out on it.

Now excuse me while I go get a cheeseburger.

Am I off base with this? Is it wrong for someone that gets by on their looks to not have to deal with the criticism when things go down hill?

About the author

Bobby Finstock

Finstock is founder of Pointlessbanter.net. He is known for his encyclopedia like knowledge on the life and times of Scott Baio. In the future he hopes to write again under his own name in order to impress the ladies and build his celebrity to the levels of other failed internet writers.

44 Responses to “Ashlee Simpson you need to STFU. Your Sister, Jessica Simpson, is getting fat”

  1. Meghan says:

    That just made me want to throw something at my monitor…such a feeling of hope in the air for our country?! Give me a fucking break.

    Gee Ashlee, I’m sorry your sister’s massive hoop earrings and leopard cumberbund didn’t take the focus off her back fat. And are we supposed to really care that she’s embarrassed about anything? The girl who dragged her drunk ass across a McDonalds counter not too long ago claiming her A-List status.

    Me thinks not.

  2. Mary says:

    I’m surprised you gave this a second thought. It’s Ashlee Fucking Simpson. Who give a damn what she thinks?

  3. Meghan says:

    And further more, you know she’s only speaking out about how appalled she is because she’s trying to one up her since in the looks department. ‘Is daddy paying attention? Am I finally the pretty one.’

    No…you are not.

  4. Kristina says:

    Honestly, what is up with celebs these days. Just because they popped a baby out of their useless vaginas, doesn’t mean we need to put them on some sort of pedestal – especially since the Simpson girls relied on plastic surgery to gain the “celebrity” they currently claim. Fuck these two bitches. And if Ashlee is reading this, eat shit, you dumb whore.

  5. I think it’s actually reverse psychology – Ashlee’s drawing attention to her sister’s weight gain ’cause she knows Papa Joe don’t like no heifers.

  6. stan says:

    Damn, she needs to get the Flirty Girls Fitness DVD to take care of that side of pork around her waist. I’d still pay to see that. Can you disagree?

  7. Ravinia says:

    She looks like most everyone else walking down the street. SO why doesn’t everyone else earn a superstar paycheck? The sexiness and body image that made them stars needs to be maintained. SO HELL YES WE HAVE A RIGHT TO CRITICIZE! BRING BACK SEXY… NOT WALMART SEXY.

  8. PsYcHo BiTcH says:


  9. Alexis says:

    I wonder what she’d say in defense of her husband and his addiction to eyeliner…gah…STFU, indeed.

  10. OM says:

    How great is it that in Google Reader, you have a Feed Ad at the bottom with a picture of Jessica Simpson from her better days?

  11. Yeah, I have no idea how she let herself go like that! Epecially dating a pro football player! I am dating one too and he would never let me ley myself go like that. He would have me in the gym by the count of 5.

  12. Fiona says:

    Bang on….. do you have another cheeseburger there?

  13. Maybe that belt was a little too tight?

  14. Vince says:

    Why is she wearing Mom jeans? If you don’t want to look big you don’t wear Mom jeans.

    Maybe Tony Romo shot a load of baby batter into her wizards sleeve of a vagin and got her knocked but.

    Or the life time supply of buffalo wings she got from pizza hut are finally starting to catch up with here.

  15. Chris in Canada says:

    I suppose that made headlines as a “balance” for the people who don’t follow politics or the real world other than what they consume like sheep following blindly via tv. When Jessica first hit the public’s eye years ago you could tell she would become eventually large; just by looking at her chin but like implied above I don’t care about a person’s size, let alone a celebrity’s weight. We live in a really warped era where the masses need to know (or at least think we must know) about every move a celeb makes; we probably know more about celebrities than our next door neighbours. We have the media to thank for that; frankly I’m glad I haven’t caved into all the hype – I despise realty television and mainstream television entertainment news is for people who are too lazy to read (the same dirt in related magazines) – people watching people doing nothing? no thank you; I get gripping entertainment by looking at my aquarium — and I get all my dirt here in one easy to follow blog written by the legendary Bobby Finstock

  16. Rick Thirsby says:

    I’d still do her. Afterwards, we can eat White Castles and drink beer in bed.

  17. Tits McGee says:

    I think she’s just happy and in love and getting fucked on a regular basis. Happiness=appetite with a lot of women. Who woulda thunk it.

  18. LightGrenade says:

    Dude…you’re all missing the point. She’ll get fucked over, and she’ll bounce back weight wise. After bouncing back she’ll need to boost her career again. That means either sex tape or Playboy.

  19. Kobie says:

    I’d still hit it like the fist of an angry god.

  20. dickspitz says:

    Sure Jess is packing a few more lbs. SFW! I’d still slap the meat pipe ‘tween those DD milk bags and be in awe of how all the extra fried taters & chili give Jess a noisy farthole while I’m sodomizing that hillbilly harlot!

  21. coffee says:

    Jessica Simpson is smart… she’s taking over where Kirstie Alley left off and is thus poised to make a ton of money advertising for the weight loss industry

  22. Hoeanna says:

    The only reason for any clothing is too tight is because your too big! The same piece ain’t snug on someone 15 lbs smaller than you!

  23. You know she goes home and drinks heavily trying to forget.

  24. She isn’t an underage girl

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