The Female Clitoris is a Myth
Consider if you will for a moment the clitoris. Every other major sex organ has about a thousand different slang words used to describe them, and yet the organ most responsible for a woman’s pleasure (and a man’s endless frustration): nada.
Dried peach or Maya Angelou’s vagina? You decide
Yeah, I know what some of you are thinking, and yes there are a couple of slang words for it. Button, for example, or Little Man in the Boat (worst slang term ever), maybe a couple of other obscure ones here or there. But that’s just about it.
How can this be, you ask? I mean the penis alone has 12,462 slang terms associated with it. And yes, I counted. So how can it be that the clitoris has nary a dirty word used to describe it? I’ve given this some very serious thought and the answer is simple: the female clitoris is a myth.
I base these findings on more than just the above evidence. Consider the following collection of data:
- I have yet to witness an actual female orgasm. Who amongst us has?
- If there was such a thing as a clitoris, then it would almost be like a mini penis, making me gay for stroking it tenderly. I am not gay. Therefore, the clitoris doesn’t exist.
- Female genetalia is already impossibly complicated. Would Mother Nature REALLY cock block us guys further by adding a tiny nub of flesh that none of us knows how to use?
- For thousands of years there was no such thing as the clitoris. Then suddenly in the past 100 years the feminist scio-nazis declare that there is one, and that it is possible for women to “derive pleasure from sex” and suddenly it’s a reality? I think not.
So in conclusion, FACT: the female clitoris is a myth. Discuss amongst yourselves.
Dude, that dried up whatever picture made me gag just a bit…if only because I did picture it as Maya Angelous clam.
I HOPE it’s a dried peach.
I hope you think it’s a dried peach, because if that’s what you think a clitoris is like, I’m a little scared about who – or what – you’re dipping the man good into.
The female clitoris is indeed a myth, but the male clitoris is real.
In Britain we call it a bean. That mystical bean.
I thought I saw a clitoris in the woods when I was camping this past summer, but realized it was big foot chasing the lock ness monster.
I’m sure that if the clitoris were real then it would make mans life alot easier to deal with.
You know…I could eat a peach for hours.
My theory is that men are so penis-centric that they need thousands of euphemisms for their parts. If they were more focused on women, perhaps more of them would witness female orgasms and we’d have more euphemisms for the clit. Just a thought.
Not sure why women don’t have thousands of euphemisms amongst themselves for the clit. Hey, maybe it IS a myth! Or maybe it is like a tulpa, where you have to believe it into existence. Ignore it, and it isn’t really there.
So…wait. What IS this thing, then? It seems to be working…
It exists…It was in the SouthPark movie, remember? *roll my eyes*
The sad part is knowing they exist but still having to give a guy directions on how to find and use it. (No comments please, he tries really hard…lol)
*punches the shit out of it* Like that? Did I do it right?
*touches herself*
Nope, it’s still there.
*orgasms*
And it most certainly DOES exist.
http://www.sex-lexis.com/Sex-Dictionary/clitoris
I didn’t count, my eyes crossed. However, I’ve had plenty of orgasms, it’s there and it works marvelously – even if I have to do it myself.
it exists, i always have to tell him where it is and how to do it. sometimes i just let him watch how to do it right.
The question is not whether or not a clitoris exits, but rather ,would any man pay any attention to a woman if he was not in hot pursuit of one.
I try not to pay attention to them unless THEY are in hot pursuit of one. Heh!
I heard this joke punch line once. It goes:
She didn’t have a G-spot. She had an Edward G. Robinson spot and it went “Myeh, yule nevah find me schee!”
Classic!
That cracked me up, Maya Angelou’s vagina!!! Bwahaha!
1. I have yet to witness an actual female orgasm. Who amongst us has?
Dood, that must mean u suck in the boudoir.
2. If there was such a thing as a clitoris, then it would almost be like a mini penis, making me gay for stroking it tenderly. I am not gay. Therefore, the clitoris doesn’t exist.
Females came from males, read Genesis. Hence, this is why women have clitorises. Some are small and some are larger, like penises are sized and shaped differently. Dood, u r not gay if you are with a woman, period.
3. Female genetalia is already impossibly complicated. Would Mother Nature REALLY cock block us guys further by adding a tiny nub of flesh that none of us knows how to use?
HINT: If you don’t know how to use it, watch girl on girl porn, but be gentler cuz guys’ textures are rougher.
4. For thousands of years there was no such thing as the clitoris. Then suddenly in the past 100 years the feminist scio-nazis declare that there is one, and that it is possible for women to “derive pleasure from sex” and suddenly it’s a reality? I think not.
That is so naive. Go take a sex ed class from a community college.
Dear Debbie Downer, Way to take the funny out of a funny blog.
I’d rather go with the actual facts when it comes to a human biology.
youre an idiot.
get some experience and stop trying to make yourself feel better about you sucking
Maybe while he’s out getting some experience, you can go window shopping for a sense of humor, dickweed.
IS THAT BRITNEY SPEARS VAGINA?
ADMIT IT, IT TOTALLY IS. OR IS IT JESSICA SIMPSON’S?
Your clit-myth is funny pointless banter.
And so I say next time I’m writhing in ecstasy
because mine is swollen, I won’t be thinking of you!
yuck.
I seriously don’t see the problem guys…we woman can find it and we can’t even see down there so we are essentially hunting with our eyes closed and finding it with no problem. Men however even though hunting with radar, sonar and a flashlight can’t seem to hit the target! But lord knows if there was an errant cheeto dropped into the folds of the couch cushions you’d sure find that!
Yeah…
The clitoris is real, and not all that difficult to locate. Hell, you need only open up a couple of folds and you can see it right in front of your face.
Methinks the author is just terrible in bed…
The *real* question is, why keep clarifying “female” clitoris? As opposed to the male one? Suddenly your concerns about being perceived as other than straight make more sense…
The concerns of the commenters who don’t know snark when they read it are less clear to me, however.
ur full of shyt dude.
man ‘the pearl in the rough’ is real and beautiful. you gotta look up top buddy.
lets go to Vegas !!!