10 of the Ugliest Game Consoles of All Time
Consider this a companion piece to another blog of mine: 10 of the Ugliest Personal Computers of All Time. This time we’re taking a look at fucked-up looking game consoles. And I’m not talking about the actual games themselves, but instead the ugly-ass hardware you play them on. Here we go!
Philips Tele-Spiel 1975
Can you imagine the HOURS of fun to be had by sliding the knob up and down on your joystick? The gameplay must be outstanding.
Fairchild F - 1976
Fact: The Fairchild was the first and only console to come with its own set of breast milk pumps, pictured above.
RCA Studio II – 1977
The Studio II veritably SCREAMS fun and excitement. Is it just me, or does it look more like something you’d plug one of those old-fashioned hair dryers into (the kind you wore on your head) then something you’d use to play Pong?
Magnavox Odyssey 2 – 1978
Alright, so maybe the Odyssey 2 looks more cheesy than straight-up ugly, but the fact that I owned one has given me a lifelong grudge against this piece of shit Atari knockoff. Fuck you Odyssey 2, fuck you and your Pac Man wannabe KC Munchkin right in your digital cornholes. OK, I feel a little better now.
Epoch TV Block – 1979
I’m sorry, but pink is not a good color…for ANYTHING, much less a game console. And what’s with the huge washing machine-looking knob?
Voltmace Database Games – 1980
Any good designer will tell you that the perfect color pallette is brown, gold, yellow, and sea green. I mean that’s just common knowledge in the industry. I love the name of this one too. VOLTMACE! It’s bold, but sounds more like a personal safety product.
MB Vectrex – 1982
The Vectrex’s big idea was to add its own monitor so you wouldn’t have to connect to those pesky TVs. Of course the tradeoff was that their games looked like they were straight out of 1977. Epic Fail.
Philips Videopac – 1983
Um, is that a video game console or a microfiche reader?
Rollet Videocolor – 1983
Early working name for the Videocolor? The SeizureMaster 5000.
Nintendo Virtual Boy – 1995
Ya know, if you’re going to force me to wear a gigantic, douchey-looking set of goggles, your games better deliver the goods in a big way. Luckily, they do. I mean check out this totally totally rad screenshot:
In your face Sega. In your face.
As with my first blog, be sure to check out www.old-computers.com
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At least the ps3 looks good.
you must be mad putting the Vectrex in the list, one of the coolest looking consoles and brilliant aswell, the joystick was superb.
Dude, you totally forgot the original Odyssey! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Magnavox_Odyssey
It totally shows off my age that I had this crappy thing as a kid.
I don’t agree with the Vectrex being on the list, and I’ve never found the Sega Master system particularly attractive.
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I don’t see the intellivision, which relates to me as the Odissey II to you… : http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intellivision
wow! you’ve got pretty terrible taste in design!
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There have been a ton of shitty Nintendo accessories, R.O.B being one of them.
However, the Nintendo Power Glove was awesome, even if The Wizard was shit.
hey that MB Vectrex looks pretty awesome.
also virtual boy was pretty lol
plz add “XBOX 360″ in this list
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DAMN!!! for years I’ve been trying to remember the name of Vectrex and I couldn’t think of it BUT FINALLY I got the answer. THanks dude!!!! that was a pretty cool system back in the day but I only remember 1 game that I played which was asteroids (or whatever it was called), were there any others??????
“Can you imagine the HOURS of fun to be had by sliding the knob up and down on your joystick?”
I don’t know about you guys but I still have plenty of fun sliding my hand up and down my joystick. Sorry, it had to be said.
The Virtual Boy flopped like the Atari Jaguar. Games were limited and, well, it sucked. Look at the old Virtual boy controller…Game Cube anyone.