Insurance? We Don’t Need No Stinking Insurance!
Wow. This weather really sucks ass. And I won’t ramble on endlessly about it, because Lord knows I ramble about the piss poor winter weather enough. But, it sucks. Care to take a peek?
Yep. That’s 28 inches of snow folks. And it is still coming down, blowing all over the place. I haven’t seen this much blowing anything since I saw the Blowjob Trifecta out of the Spears, Hilton, Lohan Gang. I’d rather see those again. This? Not so much.
Anyway. It is treacherous out there. Driving in these conditions, some of the worst I have ever seen, are reserved for the idiotic retards and the asinine, which I clearly am both.
I was on my way home this afternoon from a relaxing, drunk as fuck weekend, when I hit this weather. I couldn’t see anything at all in front of me.
I was going about 15 MPH, just trying to make an image out of my windshield when, I saw something. And that something was getting bigger…and bigger…”oh shit, I better stop. Apply brakes, no stoppy…sliding on a sheet of ice, oh shit, I am gonna crunch that car in front of me…” when my NASCAR skills kicked in and I resolved to line it up and hit that bitch straight on…
And I did. Crunch!
Fuck me.
So. I bounce off the guys rear bumper, kind of look at him, shrug my shoulders, make sure that a semi truck isn’t on my ass about to make me a road biscuit, and I wave that Ill meet up with the guy on the side of the road.
As I move over, get out of the car and assess my damage (a fucked bumper, but no powertrain or lights broken) I wander back to this guy I hit. Out steps this cat:
Oh Boy. This is gonna be good.
I make sure that he is OK, I look at his car, a crunched rear bumper, that’s all and then he speaks…
“Dios Mio. You gonna pay to fix?”
No fucking way. This guy speaks English as well as Charo on a Tequila bender.
“You fix?”
“Pancho, I’m not paying for that. No fault insurance in Michigan, my man. Do you have insurance? They’ll pay. I’m not.”
And he looked at me. He looked at the car. He looked at me again and laughed and said, “We go then. Fuck insurance, amigo.”
“Deal.”
Fuck insurance, amigo. Great call.
Off we drove. No reporting. No police, clean and easy, nice and sleazy. The damage to my car is minimal, no airbags went off, sure it looks worse than it is, but, screw it. It’ll cost less than my deductible.
Not as bad as it could've been
His car can be fixed with some bungee cords and Elmer’s Glue.
And my first experience with what I deem to clearly be an illegal immigrant with no papers, no English and certainly no insurance on his jalopy, was rather pleasant and the worked out the way these things always should, without those “by the book” people complicating things and fucking it all up.
I’m so amused, I’ll go get some authentic Mexican food. Like that Volcano Taco from Taco Bell. Donkeysosa says it is the best thing ever.
As a child, I hated winter weather. Mind you I lived winter, itself, but I attended a Wisconsin school system that was notorious for never closing for winter weather. There were two days in ‘88 or ‘89 when we were the only school system in the state, plus a chunk of northern Illinois that had class.
If there had been less than 14 inches of snow in the last 24 hours or the temperature was above -50, we went to school. I had more snow days in the first year I lived in Georgia than I ever had in Wisconsin.
Oh, I hate winter weather too. I can tolerate the cold, its the snow I can’t stand. Yeah, yeah, “move from Michigan…don’t live so close to the Lake…blah blah” but I can’t move. Long story.
Anyway, I feel your pain about Wisconsin. Man. Talk about Frozen Tundra. You people are tough m-f’ers over there.
My god man! I live in a place where there should be that much snow right now, but all we’ve got is half an inch on the ground. Global warming I think so. And it sucks. Mostly because the thing I hate most of all in wintertimes is melting snow. Really god dang annoying. It’s pretty much all the weather has been doing the last month, producing water in semi-solid form for us all to step in and get wet by. Fuckers.
Wanna trade? I’ll send you 28 inches of the white stuff for the wet nasty ass water you have. Global warming is not present anywhere near here. The polar ice caps are reforming right here.
Nice faqin car, mang!
Faqin sheet, mang!
Not as bad as it could have been. Really.
Esseeee, you car fucked mang.
And it was a chilly 78 F last night. Brrrrr.
You suck. Although sleeping in that temperature would make my nuts stick to my leg, so, that might be a little too warm.
you drive a mitsu in michigan? geez, if you wanted an unreliable POS you should have just bought american.
The Mitsu was assembled in Illinois, so that counts, doesn’t it?
well played sir