6 of the Grossest Fast Food Menu Items
Not all fast food is created equal. For every delicious Sourdough Jack, there is a shit-smelling Beef Meximelt, and for every delectable, thousand island-drenched Big Mac, there is a (insert any item from Taco Bell here). Here are some of the nastiest items on fast food menus today.
1. Burger King – Loaded Steakhouse Burger
Burger King gets my vote for overall shittiest burgers in general, but this one is just hideous. Following the latest fast food trend of piling over a pound of nasty, disparate ingredients on top of a rubbery burger patty, the Loaded Steakhouse Burger tries to mimic a steakhouse experience by putting bacon, fried onions, and MASHED POTATOES on top of their burger. Oh yeah, and american cheese. Because nothing says classy steakhouse like american cheese.
2. Jack in the Box – French Toast Sticks
I have to admit I love these little fuckers, but, um, what exactly ARE they? I’m pretty sure they’re not made from bread. Perhaps they’re just 100% fried breading? Whatever they are, they most certainly qualify as “food” only in the sense that you chew them up and swallow them. Even better? Dipping them in “maple syrup” that is 99% karo syrup and 1% brown dye. MMM, now that’s breakfast that’ll stick to your ribs…and your small intestine!!
3. Pizza Hut – Tuscani Pastas
Pizza Hut is fucking gross. Hands down the worst pizza on the market today. Their pizzas are like a trashcan lid smothered in used diapers and old cooking grease. And now they want us to spend $12.99 on some frozen pasta they just throw in their oven to heat up? Umm, yeah, I think I’ll go to the grocery store and buy the same thing for $7.99. Oh wait, but then I won’t get the side of 5 bread sticks, ya know, the ones that leave you urping up faux-parmesan taste for days?
4. Jack in the Box – Taco
Jack in the Box makes its second appearance with their version of the taco. Much like their french toast sticks, this item is truly gross to look at, but I’ll be damned if I’m not in love with it. Somehow the greasy shell, processed taco sauce, american cheese(??) and meat paste made from lord knows what, all combine to create a taco-gasm for my tastebuds. Just try not to look at it too closely and you’ll be fine…
5. McDonalds – McGriddle
Now several people have told me that once you get past how odd the concept of the McGriddle is, it’s really good. But sorry, the concept of eating sausage, egg, and cheese squeezed between two syrup-infused hot cakes is just too much for me. Beyond the grossness of mixing all of that up together in my mouth, the hot cakes just strike me as something that was made in a lab somewhere, not a kitchen.
6. Taco Bell – Volcano Taco
As stated in my intro, there is no such thing as good food at Taco Bell. It is far and away the worst of the fast food chains. Let’s face it folks – when you walk in to a restaurant and the place literally smells like dog shit, we have a problem. And that’s exactly what their beef smells like – dogshit. It’s OK, admit it to yourself. All that being said, the Volcano Taco is their masterpiece. Why? Because in order to convince the customer that this is one spicy taco, they DYED THE TACO SHELL RED.
Jim Bob: Da ya reckon them there Volcano Taco is spicy enuff fer me?
Jed: Well it must be jim Bob. Lookee there, the shell is red!
So not only does it insult our intelligence, but once again, like the McGriddle, it makes you question the line where food ends and science begins. Oh yeah, and it probably tastes like ass too.
I agree with some of the items listed, but there’s no need to be such a damned douchebag. :\
My wife tells me the same thing…EVERY DAY
DUDE! 74COMMENTS!!!! how friggin awesome!!! do more lists!!! how about grossest pop combinations
diet-cherry-vanilla-dr.peppper (wtf were they thinking!)
actually cherry-vanilla soda in general is just not right!
that was the most entertaining bunch of comments i have every read.
Amazing, McGriddles are bomb, and the Whopper is great. Try the Original Chicken sandwhich at BK. Greatest thing in life.
BTW PizzaHut buffet is equal in greatness.
HAHAHA I love that an article about fast food gets 438473 comments. That is spectacular. Fucking America. I love this goddamn country so much.
Also.
UR dum n shit. Fuk u fagot take ur shit of the internet becuz i dont care about wut u think i just read teh list and took time 2 leave u a coment bcuz fuck u! Fag.
Well played, Tori. I <3 internets
Lol, you you won’t even try the McGriddle, but you eat the Jack in the Box taco? That thing looks like it was pressed between some sweaty guys butt crack!
And you should have thrown on Carl JR’s breakfast sandwich. The one with the egg, hashbrowns, sausage.. and whatever other ungodly things are on it.
The comments on this page make me laugh.
I actually like the Pizza Hut pasta, especially the next day reheated. But their pizza? What happened to it? The bread part is so limp and wet, like it soaked up water and didn’t get burned off during baking. Very gross indeed.
Lets get fatter america! keep filling those bellies,
Everything on this list looked damn tasty to me. Especially the McGriddle! Yum.
i have a bf and you dont ha ha ha lmfao!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Burger king in the UK waaaaay outranks mcdonalds!
Best fast food around!
#3? Pizza Hut? SUCKS? Are you fucking serious? If you perfer Domino’s or, god forbid, Papa Johns to mother fucking Pizza Hut you should shoot yourself in the mouth.
Um… if you eat at any of the three you should shoot yourself. Chain pizza places blow… You must live in like Texas or some god awful place without real Italians
You are so right. Those corporate drone mass-food-consumption-factories are pure middle-class dumb American. Americans are dumb, fat, uncultured, and totally un-nuanced. Clearly, mom and pop are superior. I, of course, don’t mean my *actual* “father” and “mother,” per se (Willow and Fitzgerald, as they preferred to be called during my “gestational-maturational conditioning interval.”).
No, I refer to those shops owned by downtrodden, oppressed glorious workers, who most likely engaged in the anachronistic, religio-phallo-anthro-anti-gyno-centristic practice of so-called “marriage” only because they’ve been brainwashed and crushed under the jackbooted heel of the military-industrial complex and their hidden agenda (championed by the neoconservative conspiracy and its iron-fisted control of the war-corporatist-enabling so-called “Mass Media.”). Per se.
…
(Yes, you’re all douchebags that sound like this. Congratulations! You’ve cornered the market on retard!)
That KFC Favorites Bowl their pushing up here in Canada seems pretty disgusting.
I’ll be damned if I don’t love those fucking Jack in the Box tacos. Everything else I completely agree with, blech.
The problem I have with fast food is not the concept itself, it’s the execution. BK cheesy tots taste good when fresh, but more often than not they have been sitting around and have turned into hard little stomach-turning grease nuggets by the time they are served. The difference between a fresh McDonald’s cheeseburger and the one with the patty that is old and dry with the stale bun is the difference between heaven and shit.
When you have a great concept, then throw a bunch of minimum wage earners in a place who don’t give a crap, who scratch their balls and sneeze on your food before wrapping it up, who don’t follow company guidelines for hold times and shelf lifes then shit turns disgusting real quick and quality goes out the window and this is why I have pretty much given up on fast food.
how can you rate a mcgriddle when you have never tried it.
pussy. try it and stop being a douche.
Actually, I believe that all fast food is absolute shit. The fact that we Americans take a liking to such slop is astounding.
Hell, Burger King did have a commercial convincing children to eat apples because they’re shaped like french fries. What kind of country is this? It’s pathetic, I must say.
And one last comment toward the author and the many unnecessary comments that follow;
stop making a fool of yourself by being such a bitch. It’s a fast food article for God’s sake.
Immaturity is not a necessity when stating your opinion. I’m a mere child and I feel that a wide variety of these comments were written by brainless buffoons.