I’m so lazy, I can’t even think of a catchy title
This will be perhaps my laziest article ever. And, I’ll apologize profusely to the many readers and friends of this place in advance. It’s going to be shit.
Why?
The reason being I am not feeling very creative today whatsoever. It feels like I am operating on only four brain cells. Quite frankly, it has been one hell of a day, an even worse week, and all I want to do is get some fucking sleep…
Old School reference…out of the way.
If my kids were around I’d need to break out the earmuffs.
Anyway, today all I can come up with are a series of questions that have randomly popped into my head over the past few days/hours and that I have written down on a dirty collection of cocktail napkins and business cards. I’m almost certain that a few of them could potentially be blog topics, but like I said, I really don’t have the energy necessary to round up all of these thoughts and collectively place them into anything resembling what I could call “good”. So, screw it.
Brain dump commencing.
- Can we agree that the reason why men think they rule the world, yet why women really rule the world, is because of the art of the blowjob?
Seriously. A guy receiving good joint work is priceless, and can earn a woman anything from extra money from the “joint” account (what a joke that term is), a night out with her whorish friends you don’t like, world peace, anything within reason. (The women that think it’s “icky” can go and lie down dead fish style for their fat husbands…cock teases.) I was reminded of this fact the other night watching the AMA’s by someone who said that the only reason Scott Weiland said the nice things he did about Pink was because she fellated him better than anyone this side of Tijuana. Plus, who can forget Ray Liotta getting that hummer from his wife, Karen the one with the mustache, in Goodfellas in order to get extra money? That was all I needed to see.
It always works. Unless she uses teeth. Then it’s ice pick to the ear time.
- There is no better album all time than Pink Floyd’s “Dark Side of the Moon”. No debate. Save it.
- How in the hell do NASCAR drivers pull some of the best wool in the history of all athletes? Seriously. If all it takes is driving a car really fast and turning left, then I should be considered the world’s most eligible bachelor without the need to flaunt my schlong off in creepy cell phone photos taken in my mirror.
- Whatever happened to Collective Soul?
- Would you turn down sex with an ex? Assuming one was single, had collected a century’s worth of crotch cobwebs and the opportunity presented itself in a totally awesome, no expectations-like manner? Just curious…
- Is having an awesome sense of humor required to become a funeral director? One of the funniest guys (and a client of mine) I know is a funeral director and I always come out of there laughing my ass off. Then again, anytime I can walk out of a funeral parlor is reason enough to be tickled pink.
I think that is it. Yeah, that is all. Please feel free to discuss amongst yourselves here.
I need to take a few Tylenol PM and try to whack it. It’s what I call “winter entertainment”.
Here’s wishing you a delicious Thanksgiving blowjob. Gobble gobble.
Shouldn’t that be “slurp, slurp”?
No b/c I hope the bitch bites you!
I can’t even put in a use my balls as a turkey gibbler crack on here…the pain from reading about biting the schmack is too intense.
Tylenol PM can only be outclassed by Advil Cold and Sinus…. a whole new kind of horny high right there.
I have gone back to the ex for another romp before. Not THAT ex. Never go back to the ex husband/ wife.
I think the only thing worse than trying Advil Cold and Sinus is gulping down some NyQuil, waiting ten minutes, then trying to see if you can get ‘er done. Therein lies the challenge.
As for the ex thing, I agree. Bad news…bad news…
Come on, The Wall was the true masterpiece!
Sophie, you clearly have no taste in music and should be ashamed. Dark Side makes the wall look like the theme song to Sesame Street.
And for the record Fuck Roger Waters, fuck him in the eye with a roman candle, bastard broke up the band because of his ego the size of Texas. If I have to hear one more song from him about how his daddy died in the war and he’s sad I’ll work two jobs, save up my money, and hire an assassin to kill his ass.
Wow. I think David Gilmour thinks the same way as you…but has the financial resources to take care of it.
Oh, and the Wall is really good, but Dark Side blows it away. Sorry Sophie. It just does.
I feel your lazyness. All i can do right now is acknowledge it.
“insert something witty”
Wait, I dated a guy once that told me a man loves a woman that can cook or suck a mean dick. I am still learning to cook.
I once had a match date ask for casual sex and another that was a swinger and wanted someone ‘open minded’
Ok that is all.
Still learning to cook…awesome…just awesome.
YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY?
BEHIND EVERY GREAT MAN IS A WOMAN WHO LOVES BLOWING HIM AND SWALLOWS.
OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
I read that in Chicken Soup for the Cockles…or something.
Happy gluttony day.
I happen to think Spice World by the Spice Girls debut album is the best thing ever made. Who is this Pink Flyod you speak of? perchance Pinks dad?