After my first round of dates I decided to take some time off, reflect, and consider important questions like what is the exact ingredient difference between Mayonnaise and Miracle Whip? After giving up I decided to get back on the dating wagon. I scheduled date number 4, went on a second date with date number 3, and had a conversation that is leading to a much more complex question than the Miracle Whip/Mayonnaise debate…. We will get to that in a bit.
One of the people that I have been exchanging e-mails with decided that they wanted to instant message me because of the frequency of our e-mail exchange. Because I am constantly in front of my computer for work lately I figured it was a good way to pass the time instead of actually getting work done so I obliged. We talked on and off for a couple of days. The conversation was entertaining and I felt that we had some chemistry going. (Well as much bullshit chemistry that you can have over the internet.)
During one of our conversations the girl, who we will call Vivian, expressed that she has been forced to match.com because it is really hard for her to find or keep a boyfriend due to her job. The subject of what she did for work really never came up so I automatically threw out the typical reasons why jobs create difficulty in a relationship like long hours, travel, different schedules, and things along those lines.
She said no to all of these and then there was a couple of minutes with no reply. I was then asked if she told me something about her that I had to keep an open mind and promise that it wouldn’t impact us going out to dinner? Honestly that is the dumbest question to ever ask anyone. You can’t dangle a carrot out there and think someone isn’t going to say anything to hear it. So of course I agreed. She then revealed to me that she was an escort.
Now I can see why that would cause some problems in a relationship.
Boyfriend: My boss was being such a dick at work today. I am so glad to be home. How was your day honey?
Girlfriend: Speaking of dick dear… Well the first client said he wanted to blow a load on my tits and missed and just plastered my face. The second guy had a weird diaper fetish. And well the third guy… he was just really hung… I almost choked to death. Now come here and give me a kiss.
Of course the conversation totally changed to focus on her business and the 19,000 questions I had about it. She still wants to go out on a date, which I am up in the air about. But if I do go it will be a one date only type of thing, no hooking up and no relationship. I thought about this long and hard:
-probably really awesome in bed
-I am getting $300 of sex for free every time we sleep together so there is real value there
-tasting other penises by proxy
-the increased possibility my penis will fall off
Personally I like my penis attached to my body.
The question is do I still go on at least a date?