The Lobotomy of America is Complete
So, I was watching the American Music Awards, just for the sheer entertainment value, to see the lunacy and unoriginality that is the music industry nowadays and…
Hey, everyone! It’s Scott Weiland!
Fresh from his fourteenth stint in rehab, out there presenting the next performer for the American Music Awards. He looks decently put together, sober, I’m still waiting for him to break out in his best rendition of an a capella version of Interstate Love Song, that’d be cool, maybe break out with Plush unplugged…but, no. He introduces the “greatest music artist of our time”…
Pink.
Pink?
Fuck you Scott.
But, that is what he said. Pink. See? This is proof that the lobotomy of pop culture America is complete. First we have “reality TV” in the form of The Hills, clearly scripted and made two of the biggest anal cheese balls on Earth in Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag pseudo-celebrities for doing nothing but making Americans look like bigger clueless assholes the world over.
Before I go any further, I have to say that Taylor Swift looked like she needed a pearl necklace last night. That Taylor Swift is one…fine…piece…of Ace.
What? Oh yeah.
Then there is the release of the movie rendition of the novel “Twilight”, a book that makes all those Judy Blume novels read like The Playboy Advisor. The good thing about this flaming asshair of a flick is that it legitimately gives Happy Potter fans targets for their retard aggression, which is funny in itself and probably makes for some really good chatter on the D&D message boards and comic book stores.
Let’s not forget that Miley Cyrus is richer than most third world countries, due to the fact that her crap is being hustled amongst the masses who wouldn’t know talent if it walked up to them, popped a squat on their faces and dropped a dookie in the form of a question mark, took a picture of it, deleted it and took another one…and then downloaded it on Facebook.
And finally, Pink being recognized by someone that I thought had their musical shit together as “the greatest music artist of our time”.
To quote perhaps the greatest actor of MY time, in the best quote of any unique, creative, timeless screenplay of our time,
“I weep for the future”.
Pink. The only pink that’s any good can be found inside a pair of nice, silk panties.
Ask anyone. Ask anyone with a functional cerebellum, that is.
Addendum: Apparently, I am not the only one that feels the AMA’s were a bunch of overhyped pappy-crap that revealed that the “pop” music industry stinks to high heaven. The Jonas Brothers? Immediate grounds for depantsing anyone that loves them.
Pink fucking scares me. She seems like the kind of woman who would fuck YOU, not the other way around.
However, you’re right. Between her, The Hills, Twilight, Who Wants To Blow Flavor Flav? or whatever that show is on VH1, Fallout Boy, High School Musical 34, and the other bullshit that passes for popular culture these days, America has officially (culturally, anyway) jumped the shark.
“Pink fucking scares me. She seems like the kind of woman who would fuck YOU, not the other way around.”
And you’re opposed to that?
Jumped the shark in a big way. It’s all unoriginal crappy pap.
As for you Meghan, if it is her fucking ME, I might be a tad scared. Under normal circumstances, absolutely not. But for some reason, she just reeks of nut crushing and anal fisting. No thanks.
And she might just reek in general. I see your point.
Like B.O., singed ass hair and used Astroglide, is my guess.
“anal cheese balls”. I like that:
50’s Americana
depravity &
junk food
all in three words. Poetic, if I say so myself.
Andrew Goulding, pop music fan.
How do anal cheese balls NOT make your list of three? We as a country have been full of them since 50’s Americana, haven’t we?
Before you let Spencer Pratt get to you, just remember that he’s someone’s son, which means no matter what horrible things you’ll end up doing in your life, someone has failed the world even more.
If there was ever an argument for child abuse…
Or parental abuse…
Did Pink blow Scott Weiland for that intro…or did she just blow him anyway?
That begs the question, “Is a blowjob a license to get a guy to pretty much do anything a woman wants?”
There it is…my next blog. You rock Meghan.
Maybe they offered him more rehab money to say it and he had his fingers crossed behind his back.
You know, if it wasn’t for the internet and blogs I would have never even heard of The Hills and this Twilight rash that seems to be going around. FINALLY, score 1 for tiny island nation.
Consider yourself blessed you haven’t seen that crap. Small island or not, you don’t want this horsepoop infiltrating your local culture. I’m just sayin’.
just wanted to say thanks for the best laugh i’ve had in a while…
You are welcome. It was the Ferris Bueller reset, wasn’t it? Don’t lie…
Pink is a man. Have you seen her abs? I swear there’s a penis attached. She scares me.
Ha! There might be. No, there has to be. Does she have an Adam’s Apple as big as her balls, though?
wait wait wait – were we watching the same show? scott was anything BUT sober – and that was the only reason i had for why that filth had come out of his mouth. don’t spoil it for me now by calling him sober. he.was.not.
Well, I did have a few beers in me by that point, so it is possible that he was shitfaced, but maybe so was I and we were speaking the same garbled language. Or not. Heh.
Pink at least has a modicum of talent. What? I said ‘modicum’ jeeze! That girls body scares the fuck outta me tho. That being said, I don’t watch any of the “Award” shows anymore. No Oscar, no Emmy, no Globes of Gold. Nothing. I have better ways to waste my time. Oh and I think you can now call her Heidi Montag-Pratt because those two got hitched
You’re a Hills watcher aren’t you? I actually watched it last night too. It is amazing that these shallow people with little to contribute to society make $75,000 per episode for that shit.
See? Now I am upset.
I don’t. I can’t stand listening to Lauren Conrad’s froggy voice or even LOOK at Audrina. Her eyes creep me the fuck out! But I do skim the MSN gossip sections. Frequently. I like to remind myself why I am happy I am not one of them.
“Pink. The only pink that’s any good can be found inside a pair of nice, silk panties.”
Or a pair of nice silk boxers =)Oh hell, any type of boxers.
I read the Twilight books. Enjoyed them. Recreational reading. Not rushing to the theatres….Gimmee a break.
Want to bitch about something I can seriously hate?? How about the “pregnant man”??? The couple that are capitalizing on the birth of this child who, technically, came from a woman!! Transgender with a uterus!! Let’s hear your thoughts on that!
If he/she doesn’t have a cock and balls, he/she is not a man. Period. But, worth tackling though.
I hope to god that Weiland was just reading from a script and doesn’t actually believe what he said.
I don’t know how the guy can read toasted. I can’t even pee straight, let alone read anything at 50 feet while tanked.
Weiland’s got a lot more practice.
I had to stop reading at “Let’s not forget that Miley Cyrus is richer than most third world countries, due to the fact that her crap is being hustled amongst the masses who wouldn’t know talent if it walked up to them, popped a squat on their faces and dropped a dookie in the form of a question mark, took a picture of it, deleted it and took another one…and then downloaded it on Facebook.”
That might just be the greatest sentence you’ve ever come up with.
“ever come up with” as in from what I’ve read of yours, of course. That sentence came out awkward.
I’m just going to stop now.
B.O., singed ass hair, used Astroglide, Newports, Mad Dog 20/20, and shit.
Smells like Newark.
Mmmmm. Newark.