"Maybe it was a dream, you know, a very weird, bizarre, vivid, erotic, wet,
detailed dream. Maybe we have malaria."


If you are an adult and excited to see Twilight you are an idiot

By: Bobby Finstock on 11/22/08 @ 1:56 pm

(Today I got into a little tiff with a few friends on Facebook when they were posting how excited they were to see the new Twilight movie. I basically feel that if you are over the age of 20 and are getting excited about seeing Twilight you are an idiot. People got upset, things were said, and deletions were immaturely made. So I invited one of the pro Twilight people to come here and state her case in a point/counter point style.)

The Pro-Twilight Argument from Nina

Forbidden Vampire love how unoriginal

Forbidden Vampire love how unoriginal

So, there’s this big debate going on amongst my friends on Facebook. People are defending their love for the Twilight series and others, most of whom admit to not having read the books, are pondering why grown ass women are swooning for the movie. One said that she was going to risk the wrath of a bunch of women to point out that she found the book cheesy.

What’s wrong with cheese?

Since when was it law that once you become an adult you can no longer participate in adolescent things. Ok, so there’s the whole sex with minors thing but, besides that? I was the first to admit that Twilight would never be considered particularly great writing or high intellect reading. But it was a decent story told well. It tapped into that stomach fluttering experience known as first love. And if you dig vampire stories, and I do, then the rest was a bonus.

Just because you’re an adult doesn’t mean you can’t appreciate certain things. That you don’t feel the need to experience certain emotions again. Should I never watch The Wizard of Oz or Willy Wonka again? Just because you read and happened to enjoy the Twilight series as an adult, doesn’t make you stupid. That’s just as bad as assuming that anyone who professes, “I only read non-fiction” lacks imagination. Or anyone that watches a lot of television doesn’t read as well.

Taste is subjective. The same person who hails Twilight as cheesy might have tacky ass curtains hanging in their living room or still rocks the fannypack. Who cares? There are plenty of adults reading intellectually stimulating history, non-fiction, etc., books that are douche drippings.

I will say that I draw the line at grown ass women with children sleeping outside for movie tickets or chasing the young male actors through a mall. And women with children have no business sitting in a movie theater at 1am getting their “Cullen” on.

I don’t think anyone reading this can claim to have the most intellectually stimulating book, movie, or CD collection. There’s a little fluff in all our lives. A little cheese.

And that’s not a bad thing.

(You can read Nina’s daily blog here.)

The Anti-Twilight Argument from Me

Before I start out I want to make it clear that you if are a teenager/tween and are excited to go see Twilight more power to you. Enjoy it, have a great time, you will eventually grow past this stage in your life and look back at your pop culture choices with disappointment. We all do it… It is part of growing up. (I owned a Vanilla Ice CD…)

However if you are an adult shame on you, you have the IQ of a squeezable ketchup bottle and deserve to have a car battery shocking your testicles or ovaries. By supporting a lame book that is the literary equivalent of High School Musical 3 and a movie that looks like a low-grade snuff film maker shot it you allow these crappy trends to continue.

Kristen Stewart couldn't hold her lipstick

Kristen Stewart couldn't hold her lipstick

The cultural production geared towards teens is at an all time low. Millennials are having the worst shit ever produced for their age group. Worse than any other time except for the late 70s/early 80s. Everything is prepackaged, targeted for a certain market, and will have zero lasting cultural impact. Unlike other eras that brought us Elvis, the Beatles, John Hughes movies, rap, and Molly Ringwald, there is nothing lasting that is being produced today. The fact that adults are buying these items and lining up for midnight shows of a movie that has a 44 rating on Rotten Tomatoes is sad to me.

There is nothing wrong with liking cheesy shit. Soap operas, reality television, romance novels, NASCAR, anything written by Dan Brown, and the music of anyone ever associated with the band Creed all can be justified on some level. Cheesy crap meant for adults… It is all good. Watching classic movies that bond you with your childhood like ET and the Wizard of Oz or reading books like Bunnicula is understandable. They are timeless classics with wide appeal. But when adults fall for cheesy shit designed to tug on the heartstrings of a 14 year old tween girl I lose faith in humanity. Why not just go buy a Jonas Brothers Album and watch Gossip Girl while waiting for your phone to ring and someone to acknowledge your empty existence.

Now excuse me while I go and sit down to watch the entire “Charles in Charge” series box set.

BTW, you shouldn’t brag about reading Harry Potter either.

Twilight… pure shit or just tween shit?

About the author

Bobby Finstock

Finstock is founder of Pointlessbanter.net. He is known for his encyclopedia like knowledge on the life and times of Scott Baio. In the future he hopes to write again under his own name in order to impress the ladies and build his celebrity to the levels of other failed internet writers.

366 Responses to “If you are an adult and excited to see Twilight you are an idiot”

  1. Chadimus says:

    Why, really, do you care? The fact that you devote any mindshare to the topic at all says as much about you as it does Twilight fans.

    • Trisha says:

      The fact that you posted twice to complain about what he says on a blog says that you need to get a life as well…

      • sara says:

        Yep that’s what I was about to say.

        People, Twilight is retarded crap. Also, it was just a teen fad that died months ago. Nobody gives a damn about the series and fandom in my school anymore. A few do, but they stop quickly.

  2. Chadimus says:

    Let people have their enjoyment in whatever way they see fit. Yout “back in my day…” rant is lame. If you haven’t noticed, people are losing their jobs, their homes, and their retirement savings. If this cheesy, childish pop entertainment gives them a 2 hour respite from whatever is going wrong in their lives… why do you feel the need to take time out of your day to post your screechings on how wrong it is?

    • It isn’t a back in the day post… sorry the analysis of the way corporations push shit out to tweens was too much for you.

      No shit things are bad… I guess I should never watch tv or do anything I enjoy. That is the lamest argument out of them all.

    • CBB says:

      I agree with you 100%. Simple pleasures are all some people have left.

    • CBB says:

      I agree with you Chadimus 100%. Simple pleasures are all some people have left.

  3. Brieeeee :) says:

    How about this:
    if you don’t like it, keep your opinions to yourself.

    some people like it,
    some don’t

    if you’re an adult and you enjoyed it, awesome
    tell you friends?

    if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.

    i don’t care if you didn’t like it.
    cause that’s your problem.

    the book was written as entertainment.
    i was entertained.

    it shouldn’t matter how old you get.
    if you like it, then wonderful.

    it wasn’t written to be ripped apart.
    so don’t.

    the whole point of it is to make you happy and basically go on an adventure.
    and i believe it did that.
    for me at least.

    but, whatever.
    if you didn’t like it,
    keep your opinions to yourself,
    don’t rip the book apart.

    good book
    okay movie.


    • was that a poem?

      So if you don’t like what I wrote why not keep your opinion to yourself?

    • Jeff says:

      “if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all”

      One of the most overused, meaningless phrases in the English language. If I think something sucks, you’re goddamn right I’m going to make it known that it sucks.

    • Jane says:

      Same goes for you. If you liked it, please, please, PLEASE keep your opinions to yourself. Why not just post on a blog that raves about the movie?

      Yeah, my first post after years of reading your blog and it has to be on this blog about shitty books and a movie. I love vampire movies and books but I equate reading this series to reading Sweet Valley High again as a 28 year old adult (which I sadly did as a preteen and am ashamed to admit it). I’d like to encourage any adult who swoons over these books and movies to stay away from my children, cause that’s just sick.

      • Jane says:

        That was so supposed to be posted as a reply to Brieeeeeeeeeeeee with all the extra e’s. A computer programmer and I can’t even figure out how to reply to someone on this site.

  4. [...] Twilight Crew: Twilight (movie) out this Friday – Today, 04:57 PM If you are an adult and excited to see Twilight, you are an idiot. M.V.P. | Music Vibe [...]

  5. Jo says:

    Pure shit, probably. But whatever, tweens will go after anything with a six-pack, so I can’t complain. At least Harry Potter has Harvard Professors lecturing on its literary depth. If you can find anything more than an abstinence-only, pro-life mormon agenda in Twilight, I’ll die of shock.

  6. Isha says:

    I’m surprised that adults are making a big deal at a movie marketed towards tweeners and teens. This just shows that the brain power of humanity has lowered a little.

  7. c says:

    I just don’t understand why people care. If you aren’t interested, then it doesn’t effect you. I don’t like Harry Potter. I hate Harry Potter. I would never read Harry Potter. But if people of any and all ages want to read it, fine… it’s a whole world out there that other people are obsessed with, that I don not want to be a part of. But I like Twilight.
    I think you also miss the point of the story. It was not written for drooling teenage girls. That was not the authors original intention. it’s not her fault that that is the group that became obsessed with it… and it’s not my fault either. The books were written by a middle aged woman for middle aged women… so I feel no shame reading it just because a bunch of obnoxious teenagers like the books, too.

  8. By the response here, this is truly one of the most important issues facing our country today. Thanks, Bobby, for bringing attention to it. :)

  9. Jeff says:

    What the fuck is Twilight?

  10. Rambo Amadeus says:

    “Turbo Folk” by Rambo Amadeus, World Mega Tsar

    Folk is people.
    Turbo is a system of injecting fuel by pressure
    into a cylinder of an internal-combustion engine.

    Turbo folk is setting a population on fire.
    Every support of that burning is turbo folk
    inflaming the lowest instincts of the Homo sapiens.

    Music is the favorite of every muse
    harmony of all arts
    turbo folk is not music
    turbo folk is the darling of the masses
    cacophony of all tastes and scents.

    I gave its name.

    Alcohol is turbo folk
    Coca-Cola is turbo folk
    Outdoor barbequing is turbo folk
    Sex shops are turbo folk
    Nationalism is turbo folk
    Rave parties are turbo folk
    Ethno jazz is turbo folk

    Folk is people.
    Turbo is a system of injecting fuel by pressure
    into a cylinder of an internal-combustion engine.

    I didn’t invent turbo folk.
    I gave its name.

    Adolf Hitler is turbo folk
    Human organ trafficking is turbo folk
    Criminals are turbo folk
    Marlboro is turbo folk
    Silicones are turbo folk
    Cocaine is turbo folk
    Jeeps with low profile rims are turbo folk

    A system of injecting fuel by pressure
    into a cylinder of an internal-combustion engine.

    Turbo folk is setting a population on fire.
    Every support of that burning is turbo folk
    inflaming the lowest instincts of the Homo sapiens.

    I didn’t invent turbo folk.
    I gave its name.

    Voting ballot that gives a right to every fool to fill it up properly is turbo folk
    Tattoo, piercing and body art is turbo folk
    Car junkyards are turbo folk
    Sex trafficking is turbo folk
    Registrations with small or round numbers is turbo folk
    McDonald’s is turbo folk
    Sports betting is turbo folk
    Coffee-houses are turbo folk
    Gold and diamonds are turbo folk
    Eurovision is turbo folk
    Super-markets are turbo folk
    Stadiums are turbo folk
    Soap operas are turbo folk
    Fashion designers are turbo folk
    Political marketing is turbo folk

    I didn’t invent turbo folk.
    I gave its name.

    Twilight is turbo folk
    Harry Potter is turbo folk.

  11. febby says:

    that was epic.

    thank you ever so.

  12. Sarah says:

    I really hope some old lady shows up at your front door dressed as a wizard, with a wand carved into a shank! N just for laughs I hope she plays the Twilight album as she stabs u to death. Lol

    Why do u give a fuck what old ladies are into? Self-righteous motherfucker! What makes u think u r any better then them? Lol Sitting at your computer all day talking shit about some chick flick. And that’s just what it is! A CHICK flick! Doesn’t fucking mater who enjoys it or what age they are! Goddamn!

    I bet u have underage pore hidden on your computer u fuckin perv! I know that’s true! Obviously ur alone and depressed if you sittin around on you computer all day giving old ladies shit n talking trash about teenybopper movies…fuck!

    There is nothing wrong with old ladies fantasizing about being younger and in love with a vampire. Do u know how many people are playing WOW right now? There are millions of overweight old men out there right now pretending to be hobbits or some shit. Who the fuck cares?!

    I really hope u have done something important in life like fought in the war against terrorism or totally converted your house into something environmentally friendly in some sad attempt to stop global warming or something! Something that might possibly put u in a position to judge humanity. Even if that were the case, u should never give people shit for dreaming. Ur pathetic!

    If u just wana see some shit get blown up, I wont judge u! Just past the old ladies in line, its in the theater next to Twilight….Fucker!

  13. Sarah says:

    Wow, bitter much? LOL.

  14. furniture says:

    I am well over 20 and a Twilight fan. If you have not read the books, I am not sure how some one can judge. My wife and I bought our tickets one week in advance. The movie did a great job in adapting from the book. I look at this as entertainment and not an Oscar type movie. Many grownups read Harry Potter and loved them. Good books are timeless.

    • Sadly these aren’t good books.

      • Carolyn says:

        And who the hell are you to say that? It may suck to you, but if it entertains people, leave them the fuck alone! My sister, way over twenty, has a PhD, is an educated person who appreciates the book, WHO CARES if it is cheesy or not!
        You’re acting like a tween :D , criticizing other people because of what they like. What the hell.

  15. Tori says:

    I almost didn’t leave a comment because I got tired of scrolling down. This is probably the most comments you’ve had since leaving myspace and stopped getting “firsted” (and fisted).

    Anyway, I’m not into Twilight but you’re kind of a butthead. I read trashy romance novels because I secretly like the sex. The whole boy meets girl, they dislike each other, then like each other, they overcome a big problem and get engaged all in 3 weeks thing makes me roll my eyes but it’s entertaining. I figure let people like what they like.

    Lick my taint. That’s not an insult, I’m just telling you to.

  16. Mama Gail says:

    I agree with your point of view. I went to see the movie on opening night with a group of friends because I wanted to go out. Did I expect a good movie? No, of course not, but at least it delivered on that front.
    It was one of the worst movies I have ever seen: bad cinematography, overacting, shitty script writing, ugly actors, you name it. But I will say I was exceptionally entertained. Everything was so far beyond tacky that I felt like I was part of my own personal “Mystery Science Theater 3000″ episode, and listening to all the tenns swoon was the icing on the cake.
    We need shitty trends like “Twightlight” to help us really appreciate the genius of the Brat Pack, N’Sync’s Christmas Album, or Harry Potter.
    This is where I stop agreeing with you. Harry Potter. You may knock it all you want but that shit is addictive. Do I dress up like a wizard and prance around pretending to cast spells on people? No. That’s weird. So are Star Trek or LotR fans who indulge in the same shit. However, the books are very well written and appeal to an incredibly wide audience, and the movies have achieved some pretty insane special effects. The Harry Potter trend catered to people who weren’t into Outer Space (Star Wars or Trek), and who like to read things that move faster then Tolkien. I admit that Tolkien is one of the greatest writers of the twentieth century, but seriously? you need to be retired or a recluse to read one of those books in less then two months.
    In conclusion, Twighlight sucks, Harry Potter does not.

  17. Dee says:

    Would you call it bad parenting if I read the books as well as my tween daughter? This is something I find I can do with my daughter. I read the entire series and you know what? It makes my daugther want to READ! Not watch tv, or play video games. The reason why it adapts to the overage women, is because, its the first love we can relate to. Even if he’s a vampire, it doesn’t mean anything. It just about finding that right one and us women, no matter how old, is a sucker for that sort of thing.

  18. johndavies says:

    You have to be either a minor, or, apparently, a chick:


  19. PsYcHo BiTcH says:




    • jenna says:


  20. Calvin says:

    Like one of my friends said on Facebook, “Just go out and rent Lost Boys and call it a day”

  21. Muchodelcrazy says:

    What’s WRONG about it and making me MAD is that Twilight is a shit book, no two ways about it, and Meyers gets fame and fortune as a literary genius while other talented writers don’t get to fucking eat or get recognized because tweens, illiterates, and Oprah didn’t fucking like them! THAT is the real issue! THAT is why I can’t just let it go down as amazing literature, and THAT is everything that’s wrong with this country! It’s not getting remembered as poorly written cheese. It’s getting remembered as prize literature of the 21st century.

    I don’t like Harry Potter, but Meyers makes Rowling look fucking FAN-tastic put side to side. That’s how bad she is: she raises appreciation for things I DON’T like!

  22. Jamie says:

    Why do you honestly care what other people like to watch. Who are you to tell what adults should be reading, and should be watching. It is just a book and now just a movie, if you don’t like it then fine you don’t have to watch it. But sereiously going on and on about how you are an idiot for watching it is only showing that you are a dumb ass and also close minded.

  23. Michi says:

    So, I had to skip most of the last couple of comments, simply because I’d already read so much I wanted to respond to. (After my last one).

    First off, kudos to you, Bobby, and to you, Stevedave!

    Second, I will readily admit that I read teen fiction, still, at 21. I love the ORIGINAL Disney stuff, love the Disney parks, pop music, and even some of the better Disney movies out lately (the animated ones, not the craptastic ones with their “Disney stars”). I’m also a bit of a Harry Potter fan (and exceedingly curious about whatever it is you wrote about it, Bobby).

    However, I love to write. And I can admit with no problem that J.K.’s first books, and even the latter ones at some points, are so so hard to read the older you are (assuming you appreciate good writing). What keeps you hooked to the books, though, is that while her writing is lacking, her storytelling is not. Her characters are well-developed, and the story itself well thought out. If you ignore the details, you miss out on connections in later books.

    Twilight, on the other hand, is utter shit. One of my best friends had me read the first two and I felt I should be able to demand her money back. Story? As has been pointed out, been done, and in a much better fashion. Characters? Suck. Bella made me want to commit murder. It would take a literary genius to be able to convert that book from such crap into even a MILDLY interesting script for the movie to work off of. Only way I’ll watch it is if it’s free and in order to make fun of it. Loudly. To piss you weird fans off all the more.

    A lot of you are hypocrits. You want the freedom to love this tripe? We want the freedom to make fun of you for it. Can’t have one without the other, and since we can’t take yours away, you’ll just have to live with ours.

    Also, do everyone a favor and re-read your crap comments before posting them so we can actually READ and UNDERSTAND what you’re saying. Those of you not bothering to follow basic rules of grammar and posting long ass, multiple paragraph comments as one huge paragraph only further prove our point of you being idiots who don’t know nor appreciate what good writing is.

  24. John.BB says:

    Pretty much… It is the worst it has ever been…

  25. Crystal says:

    I personally liked the books and the movie. I for one cant believe that people are being judged on what they like to read or watch. If you like it then you like it, if you think its cheesy then thats fine too, but why must people dig too deep into it? So what if you like novels that were aimed to grab the attention of someone older or younger, its your preference. Hell, I have a 26 year old friend who loved the twilight saga, but listens to contemporary music and opera…Who says and who sets the marker for what’s “age appropriate”? No One. Enjoy yourself with what ever you watch and read, its your life and if it makes you happy then go for it.

  26. Ava says:

    I saw a random poster for the movie with that fitty on it and thought hmmm, I want to read the books. I found them funny and appreciated the innocent, teetering on lustful love story. He’s a 108 year old virgin which makes me feel better, considering I am an unemployed 30 year old virgin… yes, that’s me *twiddles thumbs*

    Seriously I did like them. The writing isn’t great, the characters are fuckin irritating but so are most people in real life. Truth is, it reminds me of how I fell in luuurve with the beau in school years ago, my only ever and current beau, swoon etc. Cant help it if I am a sucker for such things. Also Edward is a sexy character. Fact.

    I suppose you may call me emotionally retarded.

    However I’m also a 23 year old, mad in love, doctor, I heal people and shag the beau inbetween, therefore I do not consider myself a loser trying to fill her “empty existence”.

    I will go and see Twilight the movie. Though I cant think of anyone who would come with me, maybe two people but they haven’t finished the book yet. I will have to go incognito. Hah, there you have it blogger, I am now excited about going incognito to a teen vampire movie. Tomorrow I will be back on the wards treating people. Should they know that I am a twilight fan? Is it ethical for me to treat them with this disgusting secret????


  27. liz says:

    I think that if someone enjoys something and its not illegal or morally wrong then people shouldn’t barge them with nasty comments about their I.Q! what does it matter to you whether someone likes a book / film or not?! Stop being such a jerk and get on with enjoying life without having to put other people down to make yourself feel better!

  28. [...] 23, 2008 One topic that I have seen a lot of recently, especially since the movie version of the hit tween/teen series Twilight came out, is about Generation Y, or “Millenials” and what, if anything, we have to offer.  [...]

  29. Jay says:

    I think that the people who read the book deluded themselves into thinking that the ‘Movie’ would be just as good. They were wrong. The movie was cheesy and unrealistic and I felt embarrassed for the actors and honestly I think it made fun of the book.

    Books like Twilight shouldn’t be made into movies unless your going to make it GOOD. They even said themselves that they were on a low budget. I say that if it’s not going to stand up to the standards of the book then it shouldn’t even be made at all. Better or nothing.

    The flash backs were just…I can’t even comment on them, they shouldn’t of done it, full stop.

    The music in the scenes were just all wrong and it made me just want to go up to the speakers and turn it off.

    Robert Pattinson’s accent sounded Indian in some of his scenes but his acting was…ok I guess. I’m not going to boast, he was ok but most defiantly can improve.

    I don’t even know why they tried to make it somewhat comical, it was hardly funny unless I’m laughing at how ridiculous it all is.

    What I’m trying to get through is that I thought the book was great, especially for us young adults and teens, but the movie lacked in meaning and the feelings between Bella and Edward.

    The essence of it all was totally ignored and in total they ended up with an obsessive Vampier that isn’t even that good looking and a hormone- plagued teenager sighing over his looks and going with whatever he has to say because he’s ‘pretty’.

    I say, it sucked like Dracula and your all bullshitting yourselves if you think it was ‘The best movie made in the world!’ because it wasn’t. I loved the book, but the movie was just cheesy and it was a big mistake.

  30. Nikki says:

    umm… I got a question about Twilight.. I fuckin hate twilight but since im still in highschool with a bunch of fukin nerds I see those fukin books everyday, anyway.. You know how the covers have like a fukin object on them.. Like a chess peice or an apple… does the object on the cover have something to do with the book?
    Just Wondering -_-

  31. Nikki says:

    I’d also like to add: I googled “Twilight is” and I came to “Twilight is shit” which is true

  32. leo2493 says:

    Twilight! Stick to to the Nightwatch trilogy its going to be a hell of a lot better! Sorry if someone already suggested it but being lazy and not reading all the posts.

  33. painter-of-the-wind says:

    i love cheese.
    especially when it’s the topping of a pizza.

  34. caitlin says:

    personally, i love twilight. You claim it is immature for grown women to read it, not to be rude. I feel that you are immature for thinking that, you can’t decide what we do. Let us love it, and go ahead and hate it. But that proves how immutre you are, so i personally find this site a waste of time. I’m sorry that women are in love with edward and or jacob, that’s because they want REAL men in their life. sure they arn’t real, but we need men who will actually care for us. I just feel that this has no meaning, and you should take it down. If not, go ahead and keep it up, just don’t expect anyone to listen or care.

    have a nice day.

  35. Christine says:

    Right, Twilight is complete and utter rubbish. I read half a page of one the books and wanted to gag. It’s awful. At its core, it is just bollocks! The film looks shit as well – I mean bloody hell, what the fuck happened?!! There are so many fecking amazing authors that don’t get the recognition they deserve and so many good scripts that get turned down and never get made. It’s a fucking world gone mad!
    If you read the books and like them and or watched the film and liked it then you are a BRAINDEAD TWAT! End of.

  36. hi says:

    i luv twilight so wot?

  37. David says:

    I have degrees in physics and chemisty and liked the Twilight books immensly. I thing Mr.Finstock is just a smug psudointellectual asshole who thinks he smarter than everyone else. Maybe he should enlighten us all as to qualifies as good writing, then again maybe he should move out his mothers basement and stop watching porn.

    • LightGrenade says:

      Wow, I bet normally you find spouting out bullshit about your degrees impresses people, huh? Except…it doesn’t quite work out when you immediately follow it up with a comment about liking books meant for 13 year olds. You’re like the guys who wrote book reports about Hank The Cowdog all the way up into high school.

      Maybe it’s not a bad book, when it’s read by a 14 year old, but you’re a GROWN MAN. Jesus Christ.

    • David I have a feeling you have never seen a vagina before. A good book is one that isn’t an allegory for saving one selves for marriage with pussy vampires that don’t actually hunt anything. All the book learning in the world doesn’t change the fact that you have shit taste in reading material.

    • Topeka Stink Pickle says:

      Having a degree in Physics and Chemistry isn’t exactly a rigning endorsement for having taste in pop culture. Just because you spent a good portion of your life figuring out the atomic mass of Hassium and then feel the need to brag about it (you celarly are a University of Michigan grad, by the way) doesn’t give you the right to call out people that paid attention to other things. Things that are quite frankly more intriguing to those of us that like the idea of fucking women, not metal diecast figurines you re-paint every other weekend.

  38. David says:

    Bobby, my wife would tend to diagree with you on the first part. Topeka, the purpose of me mentioning my degrees’s, is not to brag, but to counter Bobby’s philosophical point that you must be stupid to enjoy Twilight. A great philospher ounce said, “the only thing worse that a conformist, is the trendy nonconformist”. Just because I enjoy a song from Brad Paisley, doesn’t mean I can appreciate Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata.

  39. David says:

    Bobby, all of us Twilight fans are still waiting with breathless anticipation for you tell us what constitutes acceptable literature. It’s easy to bash other peoples taste when you don’t have the courage to put your own literary preferences out their for scrutiny..

    • Also you have no sense of humor. This is a comedy blog but whatever I will play along.

      Well let’s start out by saying literature is not something that is aimed and targeted for tween girls because that is what twilight is.

      If you want to know what lines my bookshelf, besides books written about my field of work, “The Naked and the Dead” by Norman Mailer… Classic. Then “A heartbreaking work of staggering genius” by David Eggers…. You know the guy that started McSweeney’s, which you probably don’t read because it wasn’t written by a hack Mormon author.

      • darleen says:

        ok so what you’re saying is that the problem is that she’s Mormon(last time I checked there was freedom of speech and religion)and preaches abstinence in her books and we’re all idiots to read them if we’re past twenty.Excuse me if I prefer good books, to sadistic sick stories some present us with.I prefer a book with no sexual talk,no insinuations and provocative views and language even if that makes me a tween.And of course the only one with no brains I see in here is you…judging by the way you talk it seems you have serious issues about letting yourself free and actually enjoying things in life without hiding behind a strick so-called cultural facade.I’m really sorry.

  40. David says:

    Try the (The Killer Angels) by Michael Shaara

  41. Varied Reader says:

    You seem to hold yourself in very high regards Mr. Finstock. Forgive me but i seem to have missed the largely popular and highly acclaimed novels that you have written… that is to say, if such novels exist, none have reached a best seller list of any consumer’s knowledge. Apparently your intellect is far above all of our heads, and you shouldn’t further trouble yourself with pointing out the incompetence of all of your corresponders. How dare they hold any opinon or argument besides yours when you requested an opposition? It would seem apparent to a common toddler that you seem to have some sort of mental handicap, or you would not behave so bizzarely. I hope that your mental clarity and health improves in the future. Maybe you should should try to distract your bulging brain with a well written novel in the mean time? I hear Stephanie Meyer has a few best sellers, maybe you could take some notes on her success.

    • I’d rather hang myself than listen to anything that crackpot hack has to say.

    • LightGrenade says:

      To the esteemed Mr. or Mrs. Varied Reader,

      Salutations and greetings! I judge by your diction we are both from Unfunnyton, on the shores of Douchebaggery Quay. So splendid to run into a fellow countryman in such an unlikely forum! Your most astute observatory remarks on the state of Mr. Finstock’s intellect were truly a gas! I’ll confess, I almost experienced what some would call “a smile”, though I avoided it at the last moment, to be sure.

      Given our likes penchant for sub-par “literature”, I must say it was most refreshing to see you come to the gallant aid of all us Douchebaggers on the World Wide Internet! Bravo, sir! Also, have you had I chance to read Laurell K. Hamilton’s new novel of forbidden vampire homo-erotic love? Spot-on, to be sure!

      Sincerely and with a complete and utter lack of taste and/or humor

      Felchy McFucksucker
      Douchebaggery Quay

  42. lindsay says:

    FREEDOM OF SPEECH! if they want to drool over the book and talk about how amazing it is let them be. Why do you care so much to actually take the time out of your life to post a whole thing about it, you got some serious issues

  43. Jenny says:

    Puuuuuuuuurre Shit.

  44. dennis says:

    i don’t understand why the bad words about twilight.i haven’t seen the move ‘nor did i understand the article’s intention..is the article meant to imply that adults(anyone over 20) are immature if they’re interested in teen movies or movies aimed the teen set? i truly don’t get this article’s motives. i’m 54 and thoroughly enjoy teen movies i grew up with as well as the current teen stuff.i grew up watching movies like pretty in pink,fast times at ridgemont high and porky’s etc..was this article attempting to lable adults that watch movies aimed at preteens and teenagers ,less than mature(as though because they’re older now that the attraction to them is somehow childish)???? or that they’re idiots?? maybe i don’t understand cause i haven’t seen the movie. but if that’s where the article is coming from then i guess i shouldn’t be listening to radio stations that play the current rock music.after all,i’m 54 and so my attraction to the current rock bands is childish…or something.

  45. dennis says:

    anyone who determines the level of another’s IQ based on whether or not that person enjoyed or disliked a particular movie has successfully learned to be opininated and arrogant.
    this is not a happy person psychologically..trust me.

  46. anonymous says:

    you are a div. twilight is a good film. so poo off!!

  47. Youkokid says:

    Edward: Say it.Out loud.Say it!
    Bella: Twilight sucks!!!

    I am from Twilightsucksville,wanna join?

  48. andypandy says:

    Thank you, Mr Finstock, for putting this article into the common domain and voicing what I’ve been thinking for quite some time.

    As a young lady, I’ve had to suffer all my peers gushing about how great the Twilight series is. At a recent party I attended conversation (unfortunately) turned to these books (literary swine, IMO) and I made the shocking faux pas of admitting that I thought the books were at best dodgy and the film laughable.

    Your post amused me to no end, but I must confess that even more hilarious were the comments written by hardcore Twilight fans. Replies such as “You can’t even go to the movies without being criticizes LMAO” and “you are clearly some 40-year old masogonist loser with no job”, no doubt the height of wit and wordplay, make me even more grateful I have seen through the veil of hormonal teenage romance and understand what absolute SHIT Twilight is.

    The “author” churned out four books in about as many years — even JK Rowling had a couple of years between novels. Ka-ching!

    May all your tormenters burn in the light of embarassed realisation when they finally reach maturity. That’s right, burn, not glitter. Spew.

  49. Carli says:

    PEOPLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE…. shut up. Like it or not like it… WHO CARES. It is not up to you what other people like or dislike. Every girl likes a touch of romance no matter how old they are. DEAL WITH IT.. or get a freakin heart.

  50. xkazzax67@hotmail.co.uk says:

    Twilight’s shit!

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