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Why I still love Survivor

By: Bobby Finstock on 11/20/08 @ 5:51 pm

I have watched every single season of Survivor except for the second one. It is easily my favorite reality show and I am not ashamed to admit it. Do I like it because of the man versus nature element? Eh, I don’t care about. How about the strategy and conniving? Not really, the game is actually pretty predictable.

So why do I love Survivor so? Simple… It is the most racist and ageist show on television. Not only that but there are so many “lessons” that they are trying to teach us.

Every season Survivor finds new ways to insult entire groups of people. Usually one of the first people voted out of the game is someone that is old. Only on very rare occasions do you see older people making it far into the game. The perception is that they are weak and are unable to contribute in physical challenge. Yet the always keep one attractive girl around that has the physical abilities and coordination of a toddler.

The lesson learned is that tits always beat experience.

Discrimination against old people still isn’t as fun as the stereotyping of African Americans that usually happens. Every other season there is an African American that is really lazy around camp and doesn’t do shit. If that character isn’t on then there is one that is just too dumb to see everything develop around them.

The lesson learned here is that while we might have a black president most of America still wants to see black people as dumb and lazy.

Of course the people that do the most conniving and planning are gay people. They are smarter than the average person and cannot be trusted because they are always looking out for themselves. Every season there is a gay player or someone that you can assume is gay and they are the always doing the backstabbing or leading the way.

The lesson here is that gay people are inherently evil and untrustworthy.

It is absolutely hilarious to me to watch this unfold before my eyes every season. Along with the other typical story lines that take place like…. People want to be lead but they don’t want someone to be bossy. Men/women are easily fooled by the opposite gender when there are romantic entanglements. (It rotates who is the weaker gender season to season.) And the most important one… If you keep your mouth shut, buddy up to the right people, and fly under the radar you can go far in life.

And really isn’t that the lesson everyone wants to learn? Why lead when you can just leach on and ride a wave to success?

What lessons do you learn from TV Shows?

About the author

Bobby Finstock

Finstock is founder of Pointlessbanter.net. He is known for his encyclopedia like knowledge on the life and times of Scott Baio. In the future he hopes to write again under his own name in order to impress the ladies and build his celebrity to the levels of other failed internet writers.

14 Responses to “Why I still love Survivor”

  1. Meghan says:

    ‘tits always beat experience’

    You’re an ambassador for your generation, Finstock.

    TV has taught me pimpin’ ain’t easy and bitches be tripping.

  2. Em Em says:

    I’ve learned that even someone like Screech can make a sex tape; that slobbing down old has beens like Flavor Flav and Brett Michaels can get you a spin off show if you’re a big enough whore; and that Gary Busey can talk for like six days straight without making sense even once. Mostly I’ve learned from tv shows, that I watch far too many tv shows.

  3. Patrick D. says:

    From television, I’ve learned that stakes kill vampires, English people have things called call boxes that can time travel, and no matter how hot Jessica Alba is, she can’t keep a show past the second season.

  4. Selena says:

    OMG! See, you and I have an understanding here. I LOVE Survivor… the racial thing… did you notice how last week Randy was trying to make it seem like Crystal and GC were gang members together or something. I hate that guy and I can’t wait till he leaves!

  5. cigar smoking, beer drinking lawyer says:

    Survivor is just a mirror of our society. I get enough of that at work. And yes tits are kept around for enjoyment, but in the end it is normally not enough. I prefer porn.

  6. soleil says:

    hahaha bye-bye randy!!! best expression ever when told it wasnt the idol! hahahah

  7. Chris says:

    “If you keep your mouth shut, buddy up to the right people, and fly under the radar you can go far in life.”

    That’s how I got through basic training. My Drill didn’t even know I was in his platoon until week 7.

  8. Carolyn says:

    I’ve never been able to bring myself to watch an episode.
    And I’m okay with that.

  9. Jeff says:

    They need to have an Asian guy on there that’s really good at math.

  10. Gail says:

    i like the really horrible vh1 reality shows. cant help it, but when i watch it i feel less disfunctional

  11. In my country Survivor didn’t exist anymore, i love to watch then, now my fave is 24

  12. Great article, that was hilarious!

    I’ve also seen every single season of Survivor except one (I think it was season 11?). The 2nd season is my favorites; since you missed it, you should Netflix or Blockbuster or download or whatever it.

    And how about the season where they separated everyone into four tribes of different ethnicities? I can’t believe they got away with that.

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