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detailed dream. Maybe we have malaria."


The Match.com Files: Date 3- The Asian Persuasion

By: Bobby Finstock on 11/16/08 @ 4:59 pm

(Update: For those of you who don’t know, date number 2’s roommate found my blog, which resulted in date number 2 leaving a comment on said blog. After an hour of back and forth text messaging date number 2 may be dropping a blog on here this week and asking you to vote if I deserve to get a second date with her. )

Date- 3

What did I wear: Jeans, some sort of greenish shirt that I never wear but it was ironed, and a brown pair of shoes

Would I screw me? No I didn’t even really shave. I was going for a grunge look that failed miserably. Instead of looking like scruffy George Clooney I looked like a dirty Jake Busey.

(Don’t ask me where the Jake Busey reference came from.)

Odds of me getting laid: (0 means me looking for porn online when I get home and 10 means trapeze sex): 0

Date location: Started out in an Irish pub

First impression: Cute, she was Asian aren’t they all the same?

The date: We hung out and had a few drinks but in all honestly we landed on the single greatest people-watching event ever. As we sat there chit chatting and knocking back beer we noticed a group of people bringing in a lot of equipment into the back bar. At first we assumed that there was going to be a band. The equipment kept coming in though enough for it to be an orchestra. About a half an hour after the equipment got there a certain clientele was heading directly to that back room, I would call them a “comic book convention” type crowd. We asked the bartender what was going on and he told us that there was some role playing/gaming event.  Of course once I found that out I had to look for the key people that would without a doubt be there.  (Much like Matt always sees a certain type of person at the gym.)

1) The Fat Guy with the really funny t-shirt- There is always one fat guy at a geek event with a supremely funny t-shirt. You want to take that fat guy and make him your personal Hurley. I always wondered if that fat guy has a rival that is continually thwarted by him having a funnier t-shirt. I picture his rival frantically surfing the web split screened, with anime porn on one half and his web browser open looking for an ironic or sarcastic t-shirt. No matter what he finds and orders he is let down when the other guy has a better shirt at the next event forcing him to go back to the drawing board.

2) An Asian Girl- Of course this is the mousy Asian girl with huge glasses that speaks little or no English. She laughs like Chun Li in Street Fighter 2 and usually smells like Chinese food that has been left out on the counter for a day. Her lack of English speaking ability means that she is usually alone.

3) The “hot” geek chick- There is always one girl in a group of geeks that they all salivate over and in that room of geeks she without a doubt stands out as being attractive. However if you put her in a bar she is solidly in the middle of the pack. Not attractive but not ugly just kind of there. Usually she has two out of three things really wrong with her:

-Horrible teeth… A combination of bad genes and not taking care of them
-Slight remnants of horrible acne
-A horrible haircut that is dated and filled with split ends

Along with two out of those three things she can’t dress herself at all. Being a guy that can barely dress himself when I say someone can’t dress himself or herself it means they are one step above a four year old or a 20 year old with downs syndrome picking out an outfit.

Of course all three of these people were there and it pleased me to no end to see them filter into the bar.

We eventually left that bar for another and called it a night.

Results: Good time, I could set up a second date with her but I am waiting to hear back from date number 2 about candlepin bowling after her roommate discovered my blog last week.

What places or events do you go to where you know you will see certain types of people?

About the author

Bobby Finstock

Finstock is founder of Pointlessbanter.net. He is known for his encyclopedia like knowledge on the life and times of Scott Baio. In the future he hopes to write again under his own name in order to impress the ladies and build his celebrity to the levels of other failed internet writers.

14 Responses to “The Match.com Files: Date 3- The Asian Persuasion”

  1. JD says:

    damn when you dates start reading your blogs

    you’re either in like flint

    or toast

  2. Meghan says:

    I think you should cut through the bullshit and date girl#2’s roommate. Who

    Whole Foods is becoming a 365 Organic Meat Market. Young Business Men, dressed casually hip and clearly hanging around hitting on women.

  3. Deadbeat says:

    Are u the fat pig on the left? Have u thought of going for a walk..or will you fat ass kill someone

  4. Tokyo SpaghettiOs says:

    How funny that you were on a date with an asian girl, whilst people watching and type casting an asian girl? Hm, aren’t they all the same?

    I’m headed to Whole Foods to find me a Fat Guy in a little coat… I mean, funny shirt.

  5. OM says:

    I don’t want to sound crude, but the guy with the funny shirt looks like he’s having a good time, but when he gets home he cries while masturbating. Then again, we’ve all been there.

  6. Dave says:

    God you are an ignorant racist bastard. Hope you die of a STD.

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