(I have decided for your reading pleasure to log all the first dates I go on after I set up my match.com profile.)
What did I wear: Jeans, button up brown shirt, black shoes…
Would I screw me? Yes I was looking mighty spiffy
Odds of me getting laid: (0 means I am cutting a hole in my pillow and making love to it and 10 means kinky sex time): 1, after the e-mail exchange started going cold I knew this wasn’t going to be a good date
Date location: Mexican restaurant
First impression: Just a general rule of thumb. “About average” on a dating profile does not mean 50 pounds overweight. I am not saying I am an Adonis or anything but I mean have some sort of self-awareness. The profile isn’t for what you wish you were… Otherwise I would be 6′3″ 220 pounds of pure steel, cut from granite, with an ass that won’t quit.
The date: Originally I thought about taking her to a hockey game but she got all weird saying, “what if we didn’t like each other?”
What if? Then you get hammered and enjoy the game… (She did say she was a hockey fan.) So instead of seeing my favorite team play in one of four opportunities I will get all year I ended up going to a Mexican restaurant but made the date early so if it sucked I could head to a bar and watch the game. And if it went well she would be invited along with me. I thought it was a logical plan until she messed it up.
She was a tad pissed because I set the date up at like 5:30, so instead of changing the time or canceling she passive aggressively showed up 45 minutes late. Enough time for me to down three beers and start to hate her, things were starting out well.
When she arrived we had another drink and then got a table. The conversation was below average and I already had utter disdain for her so I decided to do a little social experiment, how big of an egomaniacal dick could I be? So I told her that I had been on the site for four days and already had 30 messages. Then I told her that I needed to set expectation and said to her that she was my first date and that it would be awhile before we had a second (even though there will never be a second) because I had so many people to go out with. The look of utter contempt on her face was worth coming out.
As soon as we got the check and paid for it she was out of there. I got to go home and watch the last to periods of the hockey game.
Results: A burning hatred toward passive aggressive, lying women and regret that I didn’t just go to the hockey game and blow off the date.
If someone is 45 minutes late to a neutral place for a date do they even have a chance at a second date?