Dean’s Got a Small…
In high school my baseball team had a collection of personalities on it that one would describe as “colorful”. The assistant coach was our 8th grade baseball coach and wanted to continue coaching us through our graduation. He taught special education at the school and continually told us that the kids he worked with were smarter than we were. One day after we kept missing signs (instructions sent in by the coach using hand signals) he made a giant set of flash cards and made us repeat after him as he went through them. His sense of humor was obviously priceless. To add insult to injury he said, “This is how I teach my kids so I figured it would work with you idiots.”
One day we went out to the field for a game and we were all sitting in the dugout. On the dugout wall somebody had written, “Dean’s got a small dick.” Dean was one of the guys on the team at first he thought one of us had written it but he was one of the first people out there and we all denied that it was any of us. Plus it was in handwriting that looked girlish. We were all laughing at it when the assistant coach turned, looked at it and said, “Well looks like someone is an admirer of your handiwork Dean. Want to explain what that is about?”
Dean replied, “Women are just crazy coach.”
“Well that might be true but I don’t know too many that are blind.” With that parting shot the coach got up and headed out to the field.
With the coaches out of the dugout Dean decided to enlighten us on what he think caused someone to write that. Apparently a girl he was hooking up (while dating another girl) was all alone as her parents were out of town and he went over to use the hot tub. While in the hot tub he was receiving a little bit of oral pleasure from the girl and he pushed down on her head leading to her vomiting in her parent’s hot tub. The mess it created was unable to be cleaned that evening and she had to have her parents drain the tub when they returned home. Dean was shocked that it happened, “I had no idea that if I lightly pushed down on her head that would happen.”
She got into a lot of trouble over it and was apparently pissed. Her retaliation was to write this in the dugout… While she thought it was revenge it actually was one of the funnier 10 minutes of all of our lives.
Have you ever seen anyone attempt revenge and you end up just laughing at it?
First of all, that line by your coach was the best I’ve ever heard in response to a guy claiming he isn’t tiny.
As for my own experiences, one chick that my college baseball teammate was dating that, well, we all nailed at one point. Apparently she, too, was jaded by him and ran around saying that this guy was hung like a field mouse. My reply was, “well, even an elephant would seem like a field mouse if you threw it into the Grand Canyon. And there have been lots thrown in as we all know.”
She never said a word in reply.
Maybe she was waiting for the echo?
Well, I did say it pretty loudly. I guess we are still waiting for the echo.
Like a hot dog down a hallway, I tell you.
Apparently his dick was just big enough to trigger her gag reflex. Side note:
Gentlemen, you’ve managed to get your penis into our mouths…don’t grab the back of our heads and suffocate us into your genitals (unless we are into that sort of thing). It’s kinda rude…until we ask for it.
You don’t actually believe that do you? I don’t think the girl lied, I think Dean just outsmarted all of you.
Oh she didn’t lie… but the story was still good.
I think the coach did it. Apparently, his attempt at insulting your IQ wasn’t working too well, so he moved to penis size.
it would make sense
SEE, I DON’T THINK IT WAS A CHICK THAT WROTE THAT ON THE DUGOUT WALL.
A) NO ONE OTHER THAN THE TEAM MEMBERS CAN ACTUALLY SEE IT, AND I’M ASSUMING THEY WERE ALL MEN SO, WHAT WOULD BE THE POINT? TO HUMILIATE HIM AMONG OTHER MEN? DOESN’T MAKE SENSE. WOMEN WILL DO SUCH THINGS WHERE OTHER GIRLS CAN SEE IT AND THEREFORE COCKBLOCK HIM OUT OF SPITE.
B) AND IF IT WAS SOME GUY ON THE TEAM TRYING TO BE FUNNY…LOL, MAYBE HE HAS OTHER MOTIVES THAN CRACKING A JOKE AND ACTUALLY HOPING FOR DEAN TO WHIP OUT HIS COCK AND PROVE IT SO HE CAN LATER GO HOME AND MASTURBATE.
THEREFORE, EITHER DEAN IS GAY AND HIS SECRET LOVER/ADMIRER (ALSO GAY) HAD A LITTLE SPAT OR SOMEONE ON THAT TEAM WAS.
Coach’s comment was hilarious…
And seriously, the poor girl puked? That’s actually really funny. How would you explain that to your parents?